Topic : Breaking Up

You know I just find it so hard to let someone go, that I love so much. But I know that I half to, I believe that I half to.    We've been together since I was 16 years old. I am 30 years old now. I have been faithful to him the whole 14 years that we've been together. But he hasn't been!!!!!!!  I know that in the 14 years  that we've he's cheated more times then I know. But what I do know is that he cheated on me and had a child by another woman. That was about 6 years ago, we broke up for a year, got back together, then that's when I found out about the child that had come from the affair. Then we broke up for another year, then got back together. So, we have been back together for around 3 years or more now. But during this time, I found another woman's number in his pants, and called her and found out that he had came on to her and got her number. That was just around 3 to 4 months of us just getting back together. I should have lefted him then, but I didn't. Then I fought out he was still talking to his baby's mother that he had from the affair, he's not in the child's life because her husbsnd knows about the affair that she had, but she has her husband thinking that the child is his and it's not. So, he just said that the whole summer that he had been talking to her about the child. But he was in my eyes still being dishonesty with me. Then the next year I fought him at a grocery store parking lot with her after a disagreement that we had.

And now this, I fought out through his cell phone that he's been talking to a woman that he met on his new part-time job. He was doing it behind my back. It's decentful, and this is not away to work on trust issues in the relationship. He's been wanting to get married and have kids with me. But I don't  trust him enough to marry him. So, now were broke up, and he is saying that he will come back if I will marry him. I can't trust him. How long does someone suppose to put up with lies, decent, pain, cheating, etc. He says that he hasn't cheated on me since his been back with me this time. But I'm feeling even if they hadn't had sex yet, it was just a matter of time, but I'm sure that they have had sex by now. But, that's besides the point, I feel like he did cheat, because the time that he was spending with her, he was short changing me. The only thing he would admit to, is when I asked him that if I had a friend on the side like he did, would that be o.k. with him and he said NO it wouldn't.      How do you really know if and when you should walk away? How do you let someone go when you still love them so? Being totally alone is so scary for me, I've really never been totally alone before. Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can understand why you have such a problem with your him exposing your daughter to all of those different women. If he was a real man, first of all he wouldn't be going from woman to woman like that in front of your daughter.  If he really loved his daughter more than he loved hisself, the way it's suppose to be when you have a child, he wouldn't be exposing your child to so many women.  So, yes you have a right to be upset.  Sounds like a very selfish man to me. Sounds like his putting his needs ahead of his childs. Because all he's doing is teaching her, about how it's o.k. to go from one person to another. He should not be bringing a woman around his daughter, until he knows it's serious, like a engagement. It's wrong for a woman to bring so many men around her kids, and it's wrong for a man to bring so many women around his kid. Doesn't he think that the child is going through enough, all it's doing is confusing her.

Don't let him steal your power from you, take your power back. Don't let him see you without your hair done, your make-up done and etc. Don't let him talk to you about his relationships when he knows all it does is hurt you,  spare yourself the pain!!!!!    He wants you to be miserable, take your power back. If you need to cry or hollar, do it after he's gone, don't do it in front of him that's what he wants.  You are a strong woman, you can do anything that you put your mind to. Your most important role is your daughter, and what she sees in her mother. Show her the mother that is strong, powerful, loving, caring, beautiful, wise, woman.  YOU  ARE WOMAN, DON'T LET A MAN BREAK YOU DOWN SO MUCH THAT YOU STOP BELIEVEING IN YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHAT,   ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR DAUGHTER'S EYES ARE ALWAYS WATCHING YOU NO MATTER HER AGE.  LET HER BE YOUR INSPIRATION!!!!    GOD BLESS YOU, PRAY HE WILL HELP YOU WITH THIS, JUST BELIEVE.