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Topic : Communication

Number of Replies: 2186
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:06:47 pm
Author : dataimport
Good communication between partners can make or break a relationship. Share your tips and stories.

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July 23, 2005, 9:12 pm CDT

Dating Services Good or Bad

Okay so in March I went onto this dating service called "e-happiness" and for about a month now I have been communicating with this guy named "Bobby". I feel that we are getting really close and that maybe someday soon we will be getting married possibly or maybe just be dating hey I will be taking either option anything is better than living the single life. I have never met "Bobby" and we have been talking for over a month. How do I get to the meeting phase? We talk everyday for at least three hours. My Mom calls it an obsession. What do you think?
 
July 24, 2005, 7:05 pm CDT

One step at a time

Okay so in March I went onto this dating service called "e-happiness" and for about a month now I have been communicating with this guy named "Bobby". I feel that we are getting really close and that maybe someday soon we will be getting married possibly or maybe just be dating hey I will be taking either option anything is better than living the single life. I have never met "Bobby" and we have been talking for over a month. How do I get to the meeting phase? We talk everyday for at least three hours. My Mom calls it an obsession. What do you think?

It's always nice to have someone that you share common interests with and are able to communicate with.  I think a month is plenty of time to start thinking about meeting in person.  If things are going as well as you believe they are, he should want to meet you too. When meeting someone for the first time (even the first few times), ALWAYS meet in a public place.  This doesn't mean to meet them out in public and then get in their car and go someplace else.  Meet in a mall, restaurant or bar and set a time limit on the meeting - about an hour is good.  This will give you enough time to see if things are the same for you in person as they were on-line and on the phone.   If they are, you can decide to stay later or plan another meeting.  If they aren't, you have set the time limit and can walk away without feeling like you are running away.

I know from experience that you can talk to someone for hours on the phone, via email and IM and then when it comes to meeting in person, the spark just isn't there.  Don't go into the meeting with unrealistic expectations.  You are already talking marriage and you haven't met him yet.  He may really be all that you think he is but please slow down and take it one step at a time.

You state "Anything is better then living the single life".  Not really.  No one deserves to settle in a relationship just to be in a relationship.  You should be with someone who loves you, cares for you, respects you, is faithful to you and who you can communicate with.  Don't rush into something.  Take your time and make sure the person you are with is the right person for you.

 
July 25, 2005, 12:33 pm CDT

Well i'm 19 and i feel lost

I have a problem i'm too shy to talk to girls i'm really shy and i cant rid of it!! i fell strong only after i working out in the gym i feel that i can to anything... but if i dont i just dont feel it...

i cant find a job, cant talk to girls=cant find girlfriend, i never had-have any friends that are girls...

and beacuse i'm shy i cant achive my goal in life i dont know that to do about it i fell lost!!

i have some freaky dream but ahh if you dont belive in some thing you already lost... dream are good thing.

 

so that to do? any one can help me? telling me that can i do about it?

 

sorry for bad english i'm not from uk or usa i cant write 100% in english :(

 

 

 
July 26, 2005, 1:48 am CDT

whats next?

My boyfriend and my mom dont really get along very well my mom is very out spoken and loud she speaks her mind. And my boyfriend isnt used to that type of person. The other night we all went to this free concert in out home town and after wards we were all find untill we started talking about what we were going to be doing afterwards, well my bf wanted me to come over and watch a movie with him and my mom didnt like that she started getting in to it saying how i am never home and how he needs to spend more time with us as a family and the thing is that when he does try to do that she tells him he is over to much. It is driving him away. On top of that my mom has something mentaly wrong with her i just know it, and i try to explain that to him and he dosnt see to get it so he takes everything personal. I am so scared that he is going to leave me becuase of her. Family is very important to me and i want him to be apart of that family as well. We have talked about getting married and now i am not sure he is even going to ask. He wants to move away and start over and i am not sure that is the best thing to do we had a talk and that is when he told me he wants to move before the years end. I am scared to tell him  how i feel because i love him with all of my heart and i dont want to lose him ever. What should i do? should i let him go and then later me move down their or tell him and hope that he will concider my feelings and stay and just work here and try to cope with my mom?
 
July 27, 2005, 9:46 am CDT

is space okay?

I was in a relationship with someone for three years.  He went through a personal trajedy and was unable to deal with it, ultimately leading to a breakup.  Six months later he came to me saying that he had made a huge mistake and apologized for pulling away from me.  I am having a very hard time forgiving him for just letting me go.  We have talked about this numerous times and I have explained everythign to him and him to me.  This was about one month ago, but for the past couple of weeks we haven't been getting along.  I know it stems from my bitterness and I think he has kinda lost his patience.  We are unable to speak without talking about US, and it is getting us no where. Since this fighting, there are doubts going through both of our heads.  He is the type of person that needs some space, like less frequent phone calls, etc.  He thinks we both need to think.  Is space okay??  I just need some advice on whether or not we can salvage this, I really want to but I think I may have pushed him away by how hurt and non-accepting I was when he was trying to get me back.  Any advice?????
 
July 28, 2005, 4:39 pm CDT

Communication

Quote From: hun911

I was in a relationship with someone for three years.  He went through a personal trajedy and was unable to deal with it, ultimately leading to a breakup.  Six months later he came to me saying that he had made a huge mistake and apologized for pulling away from me.  I am having a very hard time forgiving him for just letting me go.  We have talked about this numerous times and I have explained everythign to him and him to me.  This was about one month ago, but for the past couple of weeks we haven't been getting along.  I know it stems from my bitterness and I think he has kinda lost his patience.  We are unable to speak without talking about US, and it is getting us no where. Since this fighting, there are doubts going through both of our heads.  He is the type of person that needs some space, like less frequent phone calls, etc.  He thinks we both need to think.  Is space okay??  I just need some advice on whether or not we can salvage this, I really want to but I think I may have pushed him away by how hurt and non-accepting I was when he was trying to get me back.  Any advice?????
My best advice to you is you really have to find out in yourself if he is who you want to be with for one and if this is worth everything that you are going through. You also should sit down and talk to him about how you feel regardless if he wants to listen. I've been through a lot of this with exes and so fourth and I have found that the reaction he makes when you talk to him will determine it all.. see how it works.
 
July 28, 2005, 4:42 pm CDT

Communication

Quote From: jnwnjm

My boyfriend and my mom dont really get along very well my mom is very out spoken and loud she speaks her mind. And my boyfriend isnt used to that type of person. The other night we all went to this free concert in out home town and after wards we were all find untill we started talking about what we were going to be doing afterwards, well my bf wanted me to come over and watch a movie with him and my mom didnt like that she started getting in to it saying how i am never home and how he needs to spend more time with us as a family and the thing is that when he does try to do that she tells him he is over to much. It is driving him away. On top of that my mom has something mentaly wrong with her i just know it, and i try to explain that to him and he dosnt see to get it so he takes everything personal. I am so scared that he is going to leave me becuase of her. Family is very important to me and i want him to be apart of that family as well. We have talked about getting married and now i am not sure he is even going to ask. He wants to move away and start over and i am not sure that is the best thing to do we had a talk and that is when he told me he wants to move before the years end. I am scared to tell him  how i feel because i love him with all of my heart and i dont want to lose him ever. What should i do? should i let him go and then later me move down their or tell him and hope that he will concider my feelings and stay and just work here and try to cope with my mom?

Wow, I think I fit into this forum atm....

Well I went through this before with an ex-bf....

If you really have respect for your mother you should sit down and talk to her alone about this whle thing and tell her how you feel and then do the same with your bf. If you have a great relationship with your mum you definately DO NOT uner ANY CIRCUMSTANCE want to throw it away for some guy.

Don't move away on account of his dis-like of your mother that's your MOTHER, he should respect her as your mum, a lady and a human being.

 
August 7, 2005, 9:10 pm CDT

partner's female friends

I have been dating my partner since the beginning of June.  We both agree that things went very fast.  He is 2 years younger (30).  He has a LOT of friends. His social life is exhausting for me.  I had made it clear that I felt very uncomfortable with guys' night out and that I would prefer not to be excluded.  As far as I am concerned, my partner is welcome anywhere I go with whomever.  He recently made plans to visit a female friend at her place.  I was VERY upset when she called him to confirm the plan I did not know about. I have never met her.  I did not know they had made plans to meet up at her place just the 2 of them.  They have known each other for many years I believe. 

I still feel very strongly about this although I know that there is nothing between them (I cannot talk for her).  He is only trying to be a supportive friend as she is anorexic. 

Despite all explanations, I feel very upset and strongly about it. 

  

I do not know how to find a solution and I feel guilty to deprive him from his previous lifestyle of bachelor. 

Has anyone been in a similar situation ? 

How can I put it to him in a way that is not going to make him feel strangled since the relationshhip is so young yet so close ? 

Thank you for sharing your experience. 

 
August 13, 2005, 10:03 pm CDT

Communication

Quote From: sinnis

Wow, I think I fit into this forum atm....

Well I went through this before with an ex-bf....

If you really have respect for your mother you should sit down and talk to her alone about this whle thing and tell her how you feel and then do the same with your bf. If you have a great relationship with your mum you definately DO NOT uner ANY CIRCUMSTANCE want to throw it away for some guy.

Don't move away on account of his dis-like of your mother that's your MOTHER, he should respect her as your mum, a lady and a human being.

 yeah well me and my bf ended up breaking up but i feel so bad like a peice of me is missing, i spend like 2 days in bed crying like he fell out of love with me a while ago. I feel like my family was to blame but i dont know i am hoping that my feelings for him will go away so i can move on with my life but my live isnt complete with out him, but i know that he is ok and has moved on i just know it...i dont know should i just try to get him back....i dont know i love him but i think maybe their is some one else out their for me i just hate being alone and i feel so depressed all the time like i have no reason anymore...
 
August 16, 2005, 6:51 am CDT

Communication

i think the whole about being idle for 20 mins and you get boot and have to sign in again is a good thing except one thing.....i just spent my time typing a message  went to preview..... got booted...lost my big mess never got it posted....that blows...need more time if you are typing a message
 
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