Topic : Communication

Wow that is exactly the same situation I am in at the moment. My partner and I have been together almost 2 years however, and his female friend is drug-dependant. It's a very hard situation to fix I know. It's caused me unbelievable anxiety and stress and has put a huge strain on our relationship.  

Maybe the best thing would be to organise an outing with you, your partner and his other friend just so you can meet her and talk with her. Maybe get a better understanding of where she stands with your partner. I have tried this but have not been able to completely communicate with her because of her drug dependency.  

My partner swears nothing is going on between him and his friend, and that he is only trying to help her sort her life out so that she doesn't get any worse or in the worst case, overdose. Your partner most likely is the same, just trying to help out. Although I know from experience that this is isn't much consolation. 

If your relationship is as close as you say it is, and you haven't been together all that long, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. He is with you for a reason, and I am pretty sure that if you voiced your concerns, he will listen to you and try to sort something out. 

Sorry I couldn't be of too much help, maybe someone else could offer something more? 

If it was an accident, then why would you tell him?  Trust me, if you looked at his, he's looked at yours!  You need to quit worrying about losing him and start worrying about WHY he got so mad about it to begin with.  Here's how I look at it:  IF it were my email and he looked at it, I wouldn't care.  BECAUSE I have NOTHING to HIDE....Get it....Why would it bother him so bad if he had nothing to hide?  You never said if you found anything in the email(s)? Did you?  If you didn't, he's probably forwarded them to a web mail account (yahoo, hotmail, etc.) and then deleted them.  People are clever. 

My ex was having an affair and what tipped me off more than the change in attitude was the fact that I found out that he a webmail account.  Why would you need a webmail account when the home ISP gave us five to use??   

Just some thoughts.  

I recently found disgusting pornography on my boyfriend’s computer (I mean REALLY disgusting, completely disturbing.) I know it is only "normal" for men to take delight in porn, but I feel like I’m responsible for his obvious dissatisfaction in bed. Feeling this way makes me want to become what he desires, which means I must give up the morals I maintain as a "civilized love maker." I cannot put this past me and I think its beginning to take its toll on my sanity. Please someone help me! 

No it is not normal.  It may be frequent but it is not normal.  You might want to try to get him to look at it this way:  what if one of these girls were his daughter or sister (unfortunately) ?  what would he think ?  would it be OK for his daughter or sister to be the object of such material ?  

He has no moral boundaries for himself as a man.  He seems to have limited self control. If this is what you want as a father for your children then this is ok.  As far as I am concerned it is a simple straightforward deal breaker.  My partner is not interested in this at all.  He has other interests that keep him busy.  This has nothing to do with you. 

You need to maintain your personal integrity and require your partner to support, respect and protect your integrity.  Then move on for your own sanity and self respect. 

Hope this helps.  All the best and chin up ! 

did you have the correct number ?  Is he in hospital ?  did he get scared ? perhaps .... 

Next ! chin up !