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Topic : 10/09 The Dr. Phil House: A Family's Last Chance, Part 4

Number of Replies: 224
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Created on : Thursday, October 05, 2006, 04:39:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It’s their final day in The Dr. Phil House, and Todd and Jessica don’t waste any time getting into a heated argument. Then, they have their last meeting with Dr. Phil, who tells them what they both need to do when they get home in order to repair their marriage. Are both Todd and Jessica committed to saving their relationship? Plus, a stern warning from Dr. Phil about parenting their children. Did they take Dr. Phil’s advice? Find out as he follows up with this family two months later. One of them is conspicuously absent in the follow-up and the other reports some sad news. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 10, 2006, 8:27 am CDT

Justin, you are loved

Quote From: katmfb

God Bless you Justin. I grew up in a household like yours. I never knew if I was loved. You can overcome this if you realize what a sick family situation you are in and don't repeat the mistakes of your parents. Your dad seems like a caring guy.  You will need therapy to figure it all out, but it will be worth it. You have a good heart and my prayers are with you.
I want to offer Justin encouragement. I think you're a sweet young man. I'm proud of you that you made yourself vulnerable by asking Doctor Phil if she ever loved you. And I'm proud of you that you were open and honest on the show when you poured your heart out to your mom. So many people who saw you on the show, me included, felt your pain. Justin, don't spend your time wondering if she loved you, spend your time accepting love from those who do. I think it's clear your dad does, your grandma does, be thankful for them, and look to God for love. Because He really loves you and His love can be real in your life.  Let me tell you that He sends people to your life to share His love, and you can know them by their actions and their words. Ask yourself: do they have good will towards me, do they validate what's good about me, do they encourage me and lift me up? Do they want good for my life?" I bet if you think of people in your life and ask these questions you'll see more people in your life who do love you. I'm really sorry that your step mom left you questioning her love. But you know what, it might help you in the future to identify someone else who's actions don't back up what they say. It's not weird at all that you wanted her to love you. That's one of the basic needs in human life. She played the mom role in yours and there's a really deep need for a mom's love.  Maybe you wonder if you deserved her love after the fights you had with her, but the truth is, you made yourself open to her when it really counted and she just didn't reciprocate. Be encouraged Justin, identify the ones in your life who do love you and learn what it means to be loved by God. I bet you know someone right now who can show you  more about God's love and they'd be happy you asked.

Sincerely, Dana
 
October 10, 2006, 8:35 am CDT

Hope

I never thought this marriage would work out.  Todd was so belittleing to Jesica.  It is no wonder she is in the mental state she is.  I do not condone her behavior nor Todds.  But to have someone in ones face all the time makes that person (wife) mentally lost.  My mom has been there and I am one of those lost children even tho I am 62.

 

I do hope Todd will change his verbally abusive behavior but he seems like he can fly off the handle at any instance.  Pray for the children.

 

As for Jesica?  I think you left her out of the scene.  Maybe if Todd did not be in her face all the time and just leave when she asked so she could have some space she could have been more constructive in receiving your help, Dr. Phil.  I think I would have left too when I got home so confused and wonder what ever happened to me!  I do not think she is a  bad person but affairs are definately destructive to a marrage.  But Todd  belittleing her defineatly did not help the situation and Dr. Phil, I would had thought you would have really stepped in and got in Todds face, he is no prize either.

 
October 10, 2006, 9:38 am CDT

finally a smile

It was really nice to see a smile on the faces of the boys for once.  I think it was the first time I saw them smile and I hope nothing but the best for these guys.  I'm really sorry to say that I think it's for the best that Todd and Jessica are not together.  I hope it stays that way.  They were a mess together and really hurting the kids. 
 
October 10, 2006, 10:44 am CDT

10/09 The Dr. Phil House: A Family's Last Chance, Part 4

 I missed the last segment of the show..but got the drift of what happened through reading the posts on here.  Was there a surprise here?  I think not.  Since day one, first show I could see through Jessica.  She was there for a free trip and alot of attention.  What she didn't figure on getting was exposed to the world just how messed up she really was.  She wasn't the perfect wife or mother.  She never intended to fix her marriage.  She was screaming for a way out of it. Todd was trying to force her to stay..force her to love him.  It was like he was going to prove to her that he owned her.  Todd didn't help himself thats for sure.  He wanted to be right about everything.  He knew it was over. He just wanted to expose her for the immoral person she was.  Don't you think this will help his case when he fights for custody of the kids? They both were using the media of television.  She wanted out...He wanted her under his thumb.  Neither one will change.  If she had stayed...they would have all had a life of hell.  Its better for the family to not be together.  Its sad when children have to grow up in a broken home..but isn't it much sadder when they have to grow up in a house that is filled with rage, suspicion and violence?  Children learn what they see...and act out what is shown to them.

I was disappointed to see Dr Phil bring the mother in law into the equation.  You cannot have 2 women under the same roof when there is no love or respect for each other.  I know Dr. Phil said he needed her to calm down Todd.. but that isn't what it did.  It fueled the fire.  Todd had backup...Todd had someone to lean on for support.  He knew mama was coming. Not exactly when, but he knew... Who did Jessica have?  She really was alone in that house. She was beaten down at every door.  No wonder she runs to any man who has his arms open.  There is alot more going on with that woman.  She hasn't realized yet that she isn't going to find it in some man.  She needs to get real with herself first. She needs time with a one on one professional long term. She needs to get honest with herself.  Todd on the other hand needs a reality check too and some anger management counseling.

I do feel bad for the kids.  But they are much better off to be living in a house of peace than a world of hell.  It will be hard on them and it has already affected their lives...but there is room for hope...room to learn what is normal. Time has a healing power.

 
October 10, 2006, 10:45 am CDT

Casting Stones

First of all, I pray that each of the three young men will walk the productive, successful path in life; as opposed to being destructive as they've seen for far too long in their young lives...No more suicidal thoughts!

Secondly, I certainly don't condone the behavior of either Todd or Jessica. I could easily throw out comments such as many of the ones made on this board. But I won't, because I know I've made my own mistakes. We all have, and I find it interesting that so many can be so harsh when no one is void some type of skeleton in their closet. Difference is, Todd and Jessica chose to let the world know about theirs.

Jesus said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone...(John 8:7)." There sure are a lot of stones flying around.

 
October 10, 2006, 10:47 am CDT

Agreed

Quote From: leeanna

...how many of us are sitting here today berating these parents and never stopping to reflect on what may be happening in our own homes and with our own relationships. Stones...glass houses?

Just a thought.

I agree. What if we all had cameras in every room of our home and aired on the Dr. Phil show? What would the world see behind our doors?

 
October 10, 2006, 11:19 am CDT

THANK YOU!!!!!!

Quote From: poppycock

First of all, I pray that each of the three young men will walk the productive, successful path in life; as opposed to being destructive as they've seen for far too long in their young lives...No more suicidal thoughts!

Secondly, I certainly don't condone the behavior of either Todd or Jessica. I could easily throw out comments such as many of the ones made on this board. But I won't, because I know I've made my own mistakes. We all have, and I find it interesting that so many can be so harsh when no one is void some type of skeleton in their closet. Difference is, Todd and Jessica chose to let the world know about theirs.

Jesus said, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone...(John 8:7)." There sure are a lot of stones flying around.

I JUST REPLIED TO A COMMENT THAT WAS MADE TO TODD, IT IS SO NICE TO SEE THAT SOMEONE ON HERE SEE'S THAT NO ONE IS PERFECT.  NOT TO EXCUSE ANY OF THE BEHAVIOR THAT EITHER ONE HAD DISPLAYED ON THE SHOW.....BUT PEOPLE........ HE'S TRYING TO MOVE ON AND BE A BETTER FATHER TO HIS SON'S.....SO MANY PEOPLE ARE TODD BASHING ON HERE, THEN WHEN HE REPLIES YOU CALL HIM CHILDISH AND A DRAMA QUEEN...JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE AND RECOGNIZE THAT HE'S TRYING...IF YOU ALL CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THE KID'S    ENCOURAGE HIM TO BE A BETTER FATHER, GIVE HIM HELPFUL HINTS, DON'T CALL HIM NAMES OR CRITICIZE HIM FOR WHAT HAPPENED, FOCUS ON NOW, HES MOVING ON, EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD DO THE SAME.

 
October 10, 2006, 11:51 am CDT

Dr. Phil got had

I think Dr. Phil got taken to the bank on this one. He ended up giving the wrong family a chance at reconciliation. It is good that the children will receive some help.The mother was dishonest from the beginning. Her body language and her actions indicated she was not focused on healing her family (who gets a restraining order against your husband before going off to LA with your husband?). She never intended to get back together with her husband. I think she was there for the wrong reasons. And I feel so for the oldest boy. Imagine living with a mother who can turn on and off emotions at the drop of a hat! No wonder he questions if she ever loved him.
 
October 10, 2006, 12:18 pm CDT

it ended like i expected it to

After the prior show I expected that jessica would walk away. I think the sad part is that what Todd was trying to do was noble; he just went about it the wrong way. In the end all of his suspicions were confirmed and i think once she left  him, it was good for him. i certainly don't condone the badgering but at some point all he wanted her to do was have her admit she didnt' want to be married to him anymore. That is not too much to ask.

 

I wasn't clear, did he get custody of his youngest son? i couldn't tell but I hope he did. all of the kids seem to be kind hearted and hopefully with some counseling and time can move on to have good lives. Jessica seems to have some fairly deep rooted issues to resolve.

 

I learned a lesson once: As a kid we think our parents are perfect. As we get older we discover our parents are not perfect, the greatest gift we can give them and ourselves is to forgive them for their shortcomings and love them enough to not hold the shortcomings against them.

 
October 10, 2006, 12:45 pm CDT

10/09 The Dr. Phil House: A Family's Last Chance, Part 4

Quote From: hiedeman

 

ENOUGH, ENOUGH, ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  The man is abusive and would be attacking her no matter what she has done.  It is very apparent that he attacks and she defends.  May be that is why she was so cold during conversation with step-son.  Again she in the defense mode. 

 

Her choices have been bad---she need to find a way retain her own personal power--without involving men.  A true Co-dependent always has someone at the back door.

 

And after seeing this I don't understand why you DO NOT !!    REMOVE THE KIDS.  Give them a time out... away.

I agree with this. He is attacking and now she seems cold. Well, she may now end up being a cold person. I am not defending her, she was in the wrong. I just see her side as far as the abusive/attacking manner that her husband chooses to use. This will tear a person down after a while. It can actually drain all of the self esteem from a person. I am glad they split. I am sorry for the children and how broken their families are now, but it truly is for the best for these particular children and this particular family. I wish the kids all the luck in the world!!!
 
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