Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

Dr. Phil,

What happened to you?  Have Oprah and her “nomenklatura” comrades hijacked your show?  You did not show how the homeless are treated; instead, you stuck an able-bodied, healthy man out to panhandle.  Before I had kids, I had a real job in a major downtown business district.  The homeless there never begged (most were mentally ill and not even coherent enough to panhandle).  Some of the secretaries in our building would send untouched left-overs from lunch meetings down to the folks who lived in our parking garage and on the benches in front of the building. 

In the summertime, when the tourists arrived, we would see quite a few young, healthy adults show up during beautiful weather to scam for money.  I never saw any of these folks after dark, or sleeping on a bench, or eating out of a trash can.  After concerns of aggressive panhandlers accosting tourists surfaced, our local news media caught one of the fair-weather panhandlers getting into his nice car and driving back to his lovely house in the suburbs.

Your staffer collected $20.00 in one hour.  Some of your viewers, like me, have to work a few hours to clear that much after taxes.  I have compassion for those down on their luck, but please do not pour on the guilt trip for those who do not like being accosted on the street.  It is not a safe world we live in, and to try to guilt people into opening their wallets in public or engaging strangers is just not a bright idea.  My area has encouraged residents to give to shelters and not to panhandlers.

Americans give generously of their time and resources (just look at the response to Katrina and the Tsunami).  Your self-righteous segment was uncalled for and completely out of character for you.   With so many people in need, couldn’t you have inspired viewers to help by showing the positive work of a local shelter? 

Dr Phil you were way to easy on this couple.  I get the feeling Manuel doesn't want to get up and go to a regular job.  It's to easy to play the blame game (not getting to work on time because he couldn't get everything gathered up and leave on time).  Good GOSH...get up an hour or two eariler and take care of getting things in place. 

Manuel and Heather evidently don't have logic and reasoning skills:  I can't beleive Manuel didn't ask himself what would happen to his family when he made the decision to stay home with his wife and not bring in an income.  After one week of that....they had to realize this wasn't going to work. 

By the way...where did they come up with the money to purchase the travel trailer?

Please follow up on this family in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years etc..

As usual, the children are the ones that suffer for ignorant, lazy parents.

I am appauled at how the gentlemen in todays show was treated by Dr Phil on the issue of not paying support.

I am in this situation also.  My husband has 2 children and pays a ridiculous amount in support for them.

When I met him, he was in the process of letting his house go, driving on expired license tabs to get to and from work and had nothing in his house to eat!  This was after learning that he was ordered to pay $925 a month for support, up to $120 in medical coverage a month and was also responsible for any outstanding medical bills that insurance did not cover.

Let me sum it up for you....who are the people that make the laws behind how much support is to be paid by the Father?  They obviously have not gone through this themselves and have no idea what they're doing to some of these Fathers, financially.

How can you consiously write a court order, ordering a Father to pay well over $1100 a month for his 2 children on a $13.50 an hour income?  This is absolutely lude and morally wrong!

I understand the reasoning behind support but do not understand why the courts allow these Mothers to collect support but not put any effort into helping support the children themselves.

We have since borrowed thousands of dollars from family to have it taken back to court and lowered to $600 a month but I have to say, its wrong that we are allowing these Mothers to collect this money and sit on there duffs and not work along with collecting welfare in addition to the support.  What is wrong the system??????????????????

We have these 2 beautiful children every other weekend and they are filthy, clothing has holes in it, are still wearing sandals because 'Mom' has no money to buy them shoes for school, havent had thier hair cut in months and months, havent been to the dentist in over 3 years and are living in filth.  So, Dr Phil, tell me where this money he pays every month, religously, is going?  Its going to a Mother who is a gambling addict and spends the money on new clothing for herself, going to the salon once a month to get her hair done and so on and theres not a darn thing we can do about it.  In our state, my husband is not even allowed to ask where the money is going.

It takes 2 people to bring a child into this world, so why doesnt the system make BOTH of these people help contribute to the up-bringing of thier children?

I feel sorry for any Father out there today who is paying support every month as thier ordered to do because the limits of support that are set, are ridiculous.

If these children were under our care, it would not take this amount of money to raise them every month, no where close to it.

I understand that the gentlemen on todays show is irresponsible because he does not pay his support as ordered but if he in fact is being ordered to pay $8 or 900 a month for one child, my heart goes out to him.

The system does not care if these Fathers live in poverty and cannot pay thier own way through life and its very sad.

I must add that we worked for 4 years to get my husbands credit back up to near perfection only to find out that Mom had taken the kids to the Dr and Emergency Rm on numerous occassions and put the bills that were left over in my husbands name and they ended up going to collections because they hadnt been paid and we werent aware of them until we had gotten collection notices for them for over $3000.  So our hard work in paying our own bills and working hard everyday, snowballed on us and he is now left with credit that is terrible.

Dr Phil, I love you and I love your show but I think its time you do a show on the flip side of this.

Thank you for your time.

   I'm really surprised by some of the responces, but this one in particular...

   "Some of the women won't re-marry so they can continue recieving child support. Thats wrong!  How many women are the cause of the divorce and don't have to pay child support??? Talk about discrimination! "  What does a woman getting remarried have to do with child support???  Reguardless of the primary parent getting remarried, in no way should this change the responsibility of the other parent. Also, there is no discrimination with child support, if you are the primary caregiver of the children then the other parent is responsible for child support.

 I deffinately understand that there are women that take advantage as well as there are men that do the same, opportunists are everywhere.. Each situation should be judged individually. There are those that truely feel the care of their children comes second to the caregiver. If you feel this way, do something about it besides complaining or slacking on support, your child is the only one who suffers. If you don't feel its important enough to you to seek custody, then obviously it's only about the money....get over it!!!

 I know what its like having a deadbeat ex, but I've managed. In no way does that make it ok, but every lawyer I've spoke with says he'll do jail time, and I can't seem to bring myself to do that to my childrens father. Why is it so hard for a person to do the right thing?!

Im sorry but it is not the Fathers responsibility to pay for the Mothers rent and gas in her car.  These are everyday necessities of any individual and have to be paid regardless.

Unless the child has major medical issues, $800 a month is a crime!  These Fathers should be responsible for a portion of the food, clothing and any medical that may arise and this certainly does not take anymore than $2-400 a month.

One way is not to marry a woman who cannot be an equal in the relationship.  Many women today marry for a free ride and expect men to support them.  Women today need to take responsibility for their actions.  Sorry that your predecessors fought for equal rights.  Now you have to carry the torch whether you like it or not.

Now if she is having a third child and 900 dollars is what she gets for one then that gives her a good reason to have more.  To bad us guys don't think well when aroused. Must be the lack of blood to a more needy part of ones body. 

As to your $20.00 an hr.  I once lived and panhandled myself while in Las Vegas and if I made twenty bucks a hour I would still be there . Thats more money an hour than I have ever made on a regular job even with overtime.   No I have not paid one penny in child support. I also have not seen my daughter for 19 years as well.  No one cares that I have not seen my child, they are more concerned that she is well cared for which I was doing untill my ex called and I lost my job.   When did we as humans lose our rights to our family?  As a father I was given no help when my wife left for another town.  I ended up in Laughlin Nv. for  13 yrs working and not once was I allowed to know where my daughter was.  So before you place blame on a man making ten thou a year ask what she has done to make it easier for him.  Probably nothing as she is now pregnant again!  I'm sure somewhere it is his fault for this as well.

What is with everyone? You know bad things happen to good people. My husband and I would have been considered well off 2 years ago. Then I found out I have degenerative disc dease in my neck, and our lives have been a nighmare since. People do not understand that you are not OK, even if you look OK, no one can see into my neck and see the ruputured discs that now require another surgery, or understand how tired you are because you live on pain medication.

Everyone just expects you to "buck up"!