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Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

Number of Replies: 771
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Created on : Thursday, October 05, 2006, 04:42:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/11/06) Did you know that your financial decisions could land you on the street?  Are you one paycheck away from disaster? Stacey has two children and one on the way, and she says she is close to being homeless and it's the fault of her kids’ deadbeat dads, and her parents who have cut her off. Stacey's ex-husband, Pete, says their son would be better off living with him. So, why does he refuse to pay child support? And, see what Dr. Phil provides for Stacey to help get her life back on track. Then, a hidden camera experiment shows how people really treat the homeless on the streets. And, meet a family who was living paycheck-to-paycheck when the money stopped coming in, leaving them homeless. Manuel and Heather and their four children have been living cramped in their RV for the last year, where they have no electricity and must take showers at public beaches. The difficult circumstances are taking a huge toll on their family, especially the children. How did they end up in this situation? Dr. Phil makes an important, life-changing announcement to the family. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happpened on the show.

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October 8, 2006, 6:08 am CDT

paycheck to paycheck

Quote From: shagga70

 I think it is very easy for people to judge, My husband is a contract builder and we do not have a guaranteed pay check.  I have been a stay at home mother for many years and have only just gone into part time work.

 

For all of our years we have lived with the fear that if the pay check dosent come in or if there is not enough work for even one or weeks we will not pay our morgage.  I have four children and our income is very modest, not much left over at the end of any week.

 

I think that it is important to understand that not all of us are out here being irresponsible and blowing our money, most of us are doing the best we can, and despite our best efforts or intentions all it would take is one illness or a slow building month and my family would go under as well.   Financial pressures are the biggest problem in my household, My husband it very selfish, he takes care of his needs while I am very concerned very day that my families needs are taken care of.  I dont see an answer, the days of being happy that bills are paid and food is on the table are gone, every one wants to much, kids and husbands are not happy if they do not have what every one else has Drinking, smoking and loans to buy toys (big boys toys) will kill my marriage and my familes security.

 

I think that we need to get back to what is importanat, people need to be happy with what they have and to stop whining and start to think about what is really important.

 

When the majority of the population gets real and lives within their means and takes care of what is really important, then there may be adequate resources to take care of families and those who really need it.

 

Most of us are not in need of cash assistance, some need a reality check, others just need somone to show them that there is a better way and that their situation is not hopeless.

 

I am so tired of worrying that I am going to end up living in my car hanging out for my pension check, it drives me crazy.  I have been a  mother since I was 15, I am currently trying to educate myself so that I will hopefull get some sort of a job that may give my children some security.  I am not sitting around making my husband take care of us all, I am just taking some time to do what I should have done when I was younger and give myself an opportinity.  I have part time work, at an office of an Australian member of parliament and I have to provide assistance to many people who are in need, while I see many cases of people who have genuinly fallen on hard times, there are many like my family who just need to pull their heads in.

 

 

Hi, I know how the lady feels about not having any money for her family. My ex didn't pay his support very often,so I struggled I lived out where there was no buses I had no car. So I got a job

I walked to work everyday and was home in time for the kids. I took my ex to court and fought for the support that my kids deserved. Yes my parents helped me out but I ended up paying them back. You can survive this. To this day I am still living paycheck to paycheck because my husband is disabled and we don't recieve much from the goverment. But we go on with what we have. Life isn't easy but there are ways to get help you need to get back on you feet.

 
October 8, 2006, 9:34 am CDT

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECKS HERE

Quote From: debbck

Hi, I know how the lady feels about not having any money for her family. My ex didn't pay his support very often,so I struggled I lived out where there was no buses I had no car. So I got a job

I walked to work everyday and was home in time for the kids. I took my ex to court and fought for the support that my kids deserved. Yes my parents helped me out but I ended up paying them back. You can survive this. To this day I am still living paycheck to paycheck because my husband is disabled and we don't recieve much from the goverment. But we go on with what we have. Life isn't easy but there are ways to get help you need to get back on you feet.

MY HUSBAND GOT FIRED FROM HIS JOB BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO HELP THE OWNER KEEP IN LINE THE OVER TIME PAY THAT HE SAID HE DIDN'T WANT ANYONE TO RECEIVE ANYMORE, WE ARE NOW LIVING OFF UNEMPLOYMENT CHECKS AND I RECEIVE FOODSTAMPS FOR OUR TWO CHILDREN AND WONDER HOW WE ARE GOING TO MAKE ENDS MEET OTHER THAN JUST PRAYING.... THE APT WE LIVE IN IS EXPENSIVE AND HIS UNEMPLOYMENT CHECKS ARE GONG DIRECTLY BACK TO THE OWNER SO THAT WE WON'T HAVE TO LIVE IN AN INFESTED 42 YR OLD HOUSE THAT HIS PARENTS MOVED OUT OF AND THAT IS PAID FOR, BUT THE SIDE OF TOWN AND THE HOUSE ITSELF IS NOT GREAT AT ALL AND MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY IS SO MISSED UP ITS NOT FUNNY FROM SOME MANY PROBLEMS TO THE WAY THEY LIVE AND THERE ISNT ANY ROOM THERE AND WE AS A FAMILY WOULDN'T BE TOGETHER.. SO I WONDER STILL WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IF HE DOESN'T GET THE JOB HE WANTS AT THE PAY WE ALL NEED TO SUCCEED AND BE WELL TO DO AT LEAST..
 
October 8, 2006, 9:37 am CDT

Deadbeat Dad

Aren't there laws that force the deadbeat dad to pay the child support??  I find it nauseating that men get away with not paying for their own children's upbring.  The men were willing participants when they CHOSE to have sex....so they are well aware of the consequences.  Oh wait...there seem to be no consequences.  At least not any financial ones.  Ridiculous.  When will these men decide to act like responsible human beings??
 
October 8, 2006, 9:48 am CDT

UNEMPLOYMENT CHECKS HERE

HELLO. MY HUSBAND RECEIVES UNEMPLOYEMENT CHECKS AND THEY GO STRAIGHT TO THE APT, OUR APT IS EXPENSIVE AND THE OWNER OF THE APTS IS THE EMPLOYER HE WORKED FOR AND THE MONEY JUST GOES RIGHT BACK TO THE OWNER, HE FIRED MY HUSBAND AFTER 5YRS BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WAS TRYING TO ELIMINATE OVER TIME BECAUSE THE OWNER DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP PAYING HIM AND THE OTHER EMPLOYEES THE OVER TIME PAY, AND THE PERSON WHO HELPED GET HIM FIRED WAS A NEWLY HIRED ASST, MGR AND SHE LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO GET HIM FIRED AND WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF AND I RECEIVE SOME PUBLIC ASSISTANCE AND WORK PART TIME ON THE COMP, AND AS A HM HEALTH PROVIDER BUT THIS JUST PAYS FOR WHAT MY KIDS NEED AND THE PHONE AND SMALL SMALL BILLS, AND I ALSO RECEIVE FINANCIAL AID TO GO TO AN ONLINE COLLEGE ON THE COMPUTER SO THAT I CAN BECOME A PARAPROFESSIONAL, I DON'T KNOW HOW WE ARE GOING TO DO IT WHEN THE CHOICES WE HAVE WERE STAYING IN A 42 YR OLD HOME INFESTED WITH RATS AND OTHER THINGS THAT HIS PARENTS MOVED OUT OF AND LIVE IN A BRAND NEW HOUSE NOW, AND MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY THERE IS NOT HELP THERE AT ALL, I JUST PRAY AND HOPE THAT ALL THE TESTING HE DOES, WHICH HE HAS ONE COMING UP HE GOING FOR HIS HOME INSPECTORS LICENSE AND THAT WOULD BE GREAT TO GET BECAUSE IT IS WAY MORE MONEY THAN WE WILL EVER HAVE!!!  SO BELIEVE ME I UNDERSTAND ABOUT MONEY AND LIVING AS BEST AS WE ALL CAN BECAUSE I COME FROM A FAMILY OF 12 AND I AM THE YOUNGEST GIRL AND ITS HARD TO STAY FOCUS, I JUST WISHED SOMETHING WONDERFUL WILL HAPPEN TO US SOON IN THIS DEPARTMENT... THANKS FOR READING.. ROSE
 
October 8, 2006, 12:39 pm CDT

life is a challenge

thank you for setting foxiblu straight. I too suffered from cancer and got hep c from the surgery. I'm living  on disability and raising two kids by my self . I do all I can just too keep shoes on my kids feet and Ive learned to do without and with the rising food prices and  the rent insanity it 's less and less every month. I really fear the future and wake each day stressing about how am I going to keep this together . According to my math  we will be priced out of our apt.  in early 2008. our family car is on its last legs . my kids have stopped asking me for things I praise my sons for that but it hurts. especially  when they don't tell me about school picture time. I wish things were different . life isn't fair some times but you do the best you can and pray the worst doesn't come.
 
October 8, 2006, 2:44 pm CDT

holy cow

Quote From: kjhamilton

Hi,
65K is not much money  for a big family and I think if a person can't support their first family is it really fair to ask their children from that first family (who did not have any choice in the matter) to "do without" just because you all decided to  form a 2nd union with each other and add another child to the mix.  If you have more kids than you can afford. you have to find a away to afford them.  I just don't understand why this is unfair or injustice.  Your husband just as you did with your first marriage,made a commitment to take care of his first children and you  did yours as well.  It's children who pay for this kind of decision making.
let me get this straight you make 65,000 a year and you think your living on the edge? I think you should cut back on the designer labels and quit complaining about paying for your husbands responsibilities.question, do you shop at the thrift stores or depend on the dollermart for  food or is it Robinson's and Ralph's? Im sorry but I think your on the edge of reason.
 
October 8, 2006, 7:34 pm CDT

reply to foxiblu

 I have been told that there is approximately 37million Americans living below the poverty line! And  sadly I feel this number will increase in the next few years. It is easy for people to say that people living from paycheck to paycheck have themselves to blame - such sayings are also 'traditional and entrencehed'  (and a luxury) way of thinking, it enables individuals to consider thememselves superior and provides self justification for not thinking about the complexities of such issues or the future - based upon one or two personal experiences. America  prides itself and presents itself to the world as being a strong and united nation, and yet it seems socially America like a number of other Western Countries no longer has compassion for their own people, PEOPLE seem to no longer matter in the ever growing global economy. If a large majority of people in  western world communites  (continue)  to struggle to provide essential items and  seldom or never have the opportunity to consume things that they may want and to be able to have opportunities to do other things.

Then society will move backwards in time rather than forwards. Plus with so many Americans without any choice, work very hard for only $6 per hour, MAYBE America should consider lifting the base hourly rate of A LOT of their workers without tax penalty thus they might just be able to do a little better 'from paycheck to paycheck', otherwise MAYBE America should not appear so proud.  

 
October 9, 2006, 7:31 am CDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: annalon

 I am very upset with the previous message to this person's cry for help. It doesn't matter how much you've saved or how well you've planned, when a major illness strikes, you and your family can be financially destroyed. (Instead of blaming people who have gotten sick, we need to blame the real culprits - our fat cat government. All those congresspeople and senators have just about the greatest health care benefits and pension plans on the planet. The rest of us, even us hard workers, find our company health plans being cut, pensions diminished, etc., etc.) People who have never faced a devastating illness have NO idea of the financial AND emotional costs a family can face. My husband and I have been through this. We are no longer young and have come to the sad realization that we are never going to be able to retire. Never. I survived a serious illness, our daughter has a serious illness for which there is no cure (neither she nor we can afford her prescriptions), and my husband was downsized from his job and it took him two years to find another - at one-third the pay. All our savings, investments, everything, are gone. We live from our paychecks to our next paychecks. Our son is putting himself through college - three part-time jobs, scholarships and loans and grants. (Sometimes he can't afford to eat for a day. Don't say anything against the younger generation!)

Yes, there is help for homeless people but in no way is there enough help. At one point we were afraid we would be on the street. We found out we could not stay in a shelter together. My daughter and I, if there was room, could be in one place, my husband - if there was space - could be in another and our son, at 18, would have no where to go. He'd be out there, alone, on the street, all night. Do you think I could've slept? We decided the woods would be safer and we could be together. Thankfully, we squeaked through and it didn't happen. I never dreamed that at 60 years old, after a life of saving and planning, we'd be facing such an option! I am afraid. If I had the money, I'd help this family. I'm sure Jodee didn't ask to get sick. My daughter didn't ask for her condition. I didn't ask to get sick.


I was pretty upset to to this persons response too. Thanks for being understanding. Your right they don't know what it's like until it happens to them. My husband and I are hard workers and we like to provide for our family. Before I got cancer we were never late on anything. Your right I didn't ask to get get sick.It just happens sometimes in life.It was horrifing and it turned our lives upside down finacially also.You can never plan for something to happen like this.  Thanks,Jodee
 
October 9, 2006, 7:37 am CDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: foxiblu

These cries for help are examples of our sad society.  "My dream would be to find a sponsor..."  SPONSOR????  This society/generation seems to constantly whine and look for handouts. Without a doubt they have sad situations and I don't mean to belittle their hard times.  We've lost touch with the teachings of our elders. Saving for a rainy day, preparing for our future, and money management doesn't seem to be of any importance anymore; instead, everyone seems to be looking for someone else to carry the burden. We are running out of elses!  I've seen time and time again how helping someone out of a hard time doesn't help them in the long run because it's usually their own inadequacies in management that got them there in the first place. Therefore, yet another hard time is in their near future.  For the rare few that work really hard (not their perception of their hard work), I cheer helping them.

 

I dread the showing of how the homeless are treated on the street. I fear the one sidedness. I can say from first hand experience that there is help for the truly homeless. The vast majority have put themselves there and are looking for handouts. Many people are burned out of trying to help others just to see them in the same spot a little further down the road. There are TWO sides to this.

 

If it's not money, it's a relationship that has gone awry.  We don't teach how to deal with either anymore, or we're teaching the wrong lessons.

Until you've been there you shouldn't judge people.  My husband and I are hard workers. We like to provide for our family. Before I got cancer we were never in this situation.It was devestating.It is hard to try to get back to where you were before you got sick.My husband and I are stronger than ever we just had a tragic event happen.
 
October 9, 2006, 10:34 am CDT

one paycheck away

Quote From: foxiblu

Learn to read between the lines.  I HAVE been there.  I'm not judging anyone, but you seem to want to judge me without knowing anything about me.  I deal with homeless of all types on a daily basis, including HELPING those I can and speak from first hand experience. You are obviously bitter about your own life but remember YOU have chemo and medical help there for you. In MY situation there is NONE, but this is not about medical catastrophes.  MY point, which you missed totally, is as parents and teachers, we need to prepare our young for these possibilities and be there for them when they've done all they can instead of teaching them that someone, somewhere will be and SHOULD be there to bail them out.  Who is paying for some of your household's expenses because your "hubby refuses to work"?  My tax dollars and MY husband's help to pay for your "debt reduction plans".  In no way am I "off the hook"!

I think the previous writer read between the lines.  You are judging!!!!!!!!!   If you are spaeking from first hand experience,  you should be more empathetic!!!!!!!!! 

 
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