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Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

Number of Replies: 771
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Created on : Thursday, October 05, 2006, 04:42:21 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/11/06) Did you know that your financial decisions could land you on the street?  Are you one paycheck away from disaster? Stacey has two children and one on the way, and she says she is close to being homeless and it's the fault of her kids’ deadbeat dads, and her parents who have cut her off. Stacey's ex-husband, Pete, says their son would be better off living with him. So, why does he refuse to pay child support? And, see what Dr. Phil provides for Stacey to help get her life back on track. Then, a hidden camera experiment shows how people really treat the homeless on the streets. And, meet a family who was living paycheck-to-paycheck when the money stopped coming in, leaving them homeless. Manuel and Heather and their four children have been living cramped in their RV for the last year, where they have no electricity and must take showers at public beaches. The difficult circumstances are taking a huge toll on their family, especially the children. How did they end up in this situation? Dr. Phil makes an important, life-changing announcement to the family. Share your thoughts here.

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October 11, 2006, 1:06 am CDT

Different times Call for Different Measures

Quote From: labella226

Dr. Phil:

 

I'm sorry but I have no mercy for these homeless people in the streets who live off of all the working peoples' money.  Take a look at them, they have two good eyes, two good arms, legs and a mind.  There are so many jobs as cleaning bathrooms in public places, washing dishes in restaurants, sweeping park grounds, working in cemetaries, etc. There is no excuse for their decisions, they are just plain lazy and they know if they stand on a corner, people will give them money.  We as taxpayers are paying for this nonsense; we have to go out a bust our butts working to earn a small paycheck. I can't see and I never will give these people any money.  When they come up to my car, I tell them to "GO GET A JOB" and stop living off our money.  People don't realize it, but, a lot of these homeless people choose this life and if you were to investigate some of them, they have more money than the average worker, they own homes, cars, etc., but it is easier to collect off of us  TAX FREE!!  I don't feel any remorse for them!!!

 

Arlene from Florida

I agree with you on one point:  I see these people standing around with their cups out begging for change, and I can't help but wonder why they can't spent that time working?  Plus, who knows what they do with the money they do manage to get-buy alcohol or cigarettes?  On the other hand, those who have fallen into bad times are not in the same boat as the beggars.  You need to realize that sometimes things happen, and it could happen to anyone.  My brother, for example, was born with MD.  He worked hard all his life until the disease took its toll (at a mere 45 years old).  He was "let go" from his job (in which he was pretty comfortable financially until this point), his wife left him for someone else, and he was forced to file for bankruptcy.  No one would hire him because of his deteriorating condition.  He did apply for disability, but that does not happen over night.  It takes a lot of medical evaluations and red tape.  In the meantime, I gave him a lot of money to help him survive until his benefits kicked in-I even helped him pay for his wheelchair because the State was giving him a hard time about funding it (even the MD Foundation, to which millions of dollars are raised each year, was reluctant to help!).  Although my brother had to ask me for money, I hardly feel that he was being a freeloader, trying to cheat the tax payers.  What you need to remember is that every situation is different-sure, there are definitely people out there who would rather get a free ride than work like the rest of us, but there are some that, unfortunately, get hit by hard times.  My brother never thought he would be in need of financial help, but there he was.  I hope everyone out there who reads this throws away their smug attitudes about those less fortunate than us and starts to realize that just because you are reading this in your nice warm house without a care in the world, it doesn't mean that it couldn't happen to you.
 
October 11, 2006, 1:36 am CDT

Are your facts right? No

Quote From: shannon48617

Yes there are laws. They either pay half their paycheck or go to jail. Did you know only 7% of fathers in this country do not pay child support? Did you know that the friend of the court system is one of the biggest government entities in the country? And yes men are willing participants but so are the women. The women have a choice after they get pregnant the men don't.  And many women tell the men they are on the pill or just plain can't get pregnant. Question is when will the women quit blaming the men for their mistakes? When will they quit having kids with diferent father's? When will they quit living off child support and the welfare system? And by the way I am a woman and used to think the same way you are, but the facts are the system is messed up and the men have no rights. I have been fighting with friend of the court for 2 years now and I can assure you they do not have the best interest of the child in mind!

 Wow, are you sure about your facts. Please tell us where you read about or heard these facts from. I thought that child support was figured by many different circumstances. Earnings of both parents, how the kids lived. How much money they needed to maintain standards of living and I thought they could not take more than 1/3 of what they earn. I can not believe the percentages you stated in your quote.

I find myself trying to raise 3 young kids on my own at age 49. I make $8.36 an hour and pay for daycare $2.40 per hour per child.  This month it will cost me $1140. I earn $1,471.00 gross and net around $1,250.00. My bills add up to more than $3,465 per month Then take off the $108 monthly  in child support, still leaves $3357.00 now take the $250 in food-stamps out leaves me still with $3,107.00. Notice that the $1250.00 net doesn't come close to covering it. So I juggle bills. Take payday loans to avoid $32 each overdraft fees for checks to pay for food or to avoid utility shut off notices to take effect. My budget goes as follows: Childcare $1140, Utilities $200-$300, Car insurance $90, gasoline $160, Internet $30, Household supplies and personal needs $120, Attire and shoes $100, School supplies and fees $40, Laundry Care $100.  OTC medications $40 Rent $715.00 and food about $2-3 per meal time 4 people = $25 per day equals $750. As you can see, the math does not add up. My current child support from one father for two of my kids is $27 per week. I just started getting it a month or so ago. We had been apart from October 1999. In 2000 he joined the Navy and had all the military allotment for our family going to his fiance' at the time ( who posed as his wife) That  $1032.00 was used to pay for her to go to visits with him and take care of dating perks. Meanwhile our kids were going hungry and I had to ride on bike in the freezing rain at 5am to the sitters house with our youngest in tow covered in the only coat I had so my child would not get wet or freeze. I remember being soaking wet as I cashiered and could not feel my fingers for a few hours into my schedule. I had to go to work with 104 fever once and found out later that I had Bronchitis. I still worked. I have had several shots for painful joints and have had to be on anti-inflammatory and pain killers such as codeine in order to keep going. Oh let me add that when the commanding officer found out I was sent part of the monthly allotment in the amount of $825 My husband wanted to send us $200 of it. But Lets just say that his Master Chief said told me that he would "enlighten" my estranged husband on how to get the money to me and the kids. But...after all that my husband went nuts with rage when his fiance dumped him because the money stopped coming to her. He was discharged due to mental reasons. He cried and was so crazed  over the loss and was no use to his company. So the money and benefits stopped. Funny how things turn out sometimes. So after the very on and off again relationship with the manic depressed girl. My ex now continues to want to come back. Not a chance!  Well I have to go to bed for now but I will be back!
 
October 11, 2006, 2:14 am CDT

Don't be upset, Enjoy the time with the child

Quote From: jules8908

I am a stepmother that has a wonderful 11 year old stepdaughter. My husband pays to support our daughter every month without fail. It is very upsetting for her to come to our home in clothes that do not  fit and her hair smelling bad and in need of a haircut. I am very upset that Dr. Phil had the nerve to say that a non-custodial parent has no right to know where that money goes. Our court system is so very messed up when it come to custody, and support payments. Any parent has the right to know their children are taken care of in every way , especially when they are handing over their hard earned money to an ex spouse and seeing no clear evidence that the child is seeing any of that money.

 

 Dear Upset,

I was in both sides of this situation before and I feel for what you are saying but I strongly believe that Dr Phil didn't mean to say that you should not be concerned with how the child is neglected, by his statement. I just think he means that if the child is obviously well taken care of considering the means available to them, The ones paying child support should take comfort that the money goes into expenses of the family and makes life better for the child in the long run. My ex-husband protested money going into my account. He hated the "money going to me". But the $400 per month he was ordered to pay (but doesn't) for his two children doesn't begin to cover the $800 in childcare costs not to mention the cost for food and clothing etc. So, I honestly feel that you and your husband should not complain and whine about how long the kids hair is. Maybe she likes it long. I don't cut my child's hair at a salon. I just trim it my self.  The child's hair can be washed at your house. Maybe you could just request that the mother dress her appropriately for the occasion before the visits. Have you asked? Or maybe you can have a set of clothes you buy for the visits with you. Now on the other side of it. I sent my kid to visits with the man who date raped me with old clothes after several times of losing nice clothes to the twilight zone. I got tired of losing the nice clothesand shoes. You know, sometimes mothers will do this intentionally so the fathers will be forced to buy new clothes for the child. I'm not sure what the financial situation is for the mother. Find out more about things before you judge. I know bitterness and anger gets in the way of the best interest of the child so many times. Don't let it happen to your family.  Keep the faith and love the child and cherish the time with her. It will pay off in the long run.  I will be back tomorrow to add more
 
October 11, 2006, 5:59 am CDT

Why...

..do parents keep having children that they cannot afford to care for and why do so many couples, in new relationships, feel that they must immediately produce a new baby?  Wedding rings seal relationships. Children do not.
 
October 11, 2006, 7:14 am CDT

Note on the family with 4 kids living in an RV

Dr. Phil, I just happened to catch your show today, when the couple with four kids living in an rv came on.  I am a very caring person.  But I can't believe that man and woman!  They should be ashamed of themselves.  And the Dad saying 'no he didn't do anything to contribute to their current situation'.  I know a lot of people with anxiety / panic disorders  -  and this may be a shock  -  but they all hold jobs  -  one is a kindergarten teacher, one is a trainer in a gym, another is a construction worker.  And this may be even more of a shocker  -  but none of their spouses quit work to care for them  -  their doctor was doing that  -  and their spouses had enough sense to know that they still needed to work to pay the bills, buy groceries, buy clothes for their kids.  I cannot believe that man and woman!  Yes, I do feel sorry for the 4 kids  -  for the hardships they have been through in the last year.  Hardships which were generated by lazy, wanting a handout parents.  Those parents are the direct cause of those 4 kids embarrassment, pain, lack of self esteem, etc.  I'm sorry I have no sympathy for the parents at all.  I have been a divorced parent for several years  -  working 2 jobs to support me and my daughter for most of those years  -  but I am proud of that.  Proud that I took the initiative, had the motivation, and loved my daughter enough to do whatever had to be done to provide for us.  Sorry, didn't mean to leave God out of it  -  if it had not been for God and His great love for me  -  I would not be here today.  And I thank God that I am here to enjoy my 2 young grandsons!  Where there is a will, there is a way  -  and that way does not have to include free handouts!  It can be done with determination, strength, and faith in God.  Manuel and Heath should be ashamed of themselves, and ashamed that they would go on tv and air their laundry in order to get free handouts from the Dr. Phil show.  God help America and those who are too lazy to work for what necessities of life they need!

 
October 11, 2006, 7:19 am CDT

One paycheck away

Quote From: leeanna

..do parents keep having children that they cannot afford to care for and why do so many couples, in new relationships, feel that they must immediately produce a new baby?  Wedding rings seal relationships. Children do not.

 

 I agree with you TOTALLY!!!  All I see here are people complaining about how broke they are.  Well,  guess what, we all feel that way!  That's why we (my husband and I) have ONE child because that is all we can afford and we don't expect others to pick up the tab for our decisions!!!  These people who keep bringing children into the world and then whine about how to support them discust me.  HELLOOOO........BIRTH CONTROL!!!    I believe there are times when people are in need due to unfortunate circumstances such as illness, job loss, ect. but for people like Stacey, I really don't feel bad for her.  I mean come on, 3 kids with three different fathers???  What does she expect?  Get a grip lady-

 
October 11, 2006, 7:19 am CDT

Amen!

Quote From: labella226

Dr. Phil:

 

I'm sorry but I have no mercy for these homeless people in the streets who live off of all the working peoples' money.  Take a look at them, they have two good eyes, two good arms, legs and a mind.  There are so many jobs as cleaning bathrooms in public places, washing dishes in restaurants, sweeping park grounds, working in cemetaries, etc. There is no excuse for their decisions, they are just plain lazy and they know if they stand on a corner, people will give them money.  We as taxpayers are paying for this nonsense; we have to go out a bust our butts working to earn a small paycheck. I can't see and I never will give these people any money.  When they come up to my car, I tell them to "GO GET A JOB" and stop living off our money.  People don't realize it, but, a lot of these homeless people choose this life and if you were to investigate some of them, they have more money than the average worker, they own homes, cars, etc., but it is easier to collect off of us  TAX FREE!!  I don't feel any remorse for them!!!

 

Arlene from Florida

Amen!
 
October 11, 2006, 7:20 am CDT

Is this fair?

Everyone in our society is given the opportunity to educate themselves. Yes, everyone, even the poor. Yet, many do not choose this path and soon find themselves in dire circumstances: low-paying jobs, no insurance, too many babies, no car, no home, no food. Do they now cry "foul"? Many will argue that they were unable to get a decent education and to that I say B.S. Anyone can get an education if they truly want one and are willing to dedicate themselves to doing so. For anyone in our society who is willing to better themselves, there is help.

I know this might sound hard and selfish, BUT....Why should those who have sacrificed and made the right choices in life be continually burdened with the load of those who have not? Is this fair?

 
October 11, 2006, 7:37 am CDT

Stupid Choices

I've found the majority of the time, people are 100% responsible for their own problems. Take Stacey for instance. Three children with three different fathers?!? Have you heard of condoms or birth control? You couldn't afford to take care of the first one you had and what do you do?? You have two more!! I'm supposed to feel bad for you?!?!?! That's the problem with society today. Everyone want's to blame everyone and everything else for their problems. I want a new car, I want designer shoes, I want this, I want that. I'm having another child......I can't afford to pay for the one(s) I already have, but hey, I want it so I'm going to have it whether I can afford it or not! Have these people ever heard of priorities and living within your means? Obviously not. Buy now, pay later is the attitude today.

 

The homeless test that was done in Vegas. He made $20 in an hour, tax free. That's equivalent to about $25 an hour before taxes. Most employed people in this country don't make $25 an hour! If you have the capability to beg for money, then you have the capability to find employment and earn an honest wage. There is plenty of assistance out there to help get you on your feet. All you have to do is reach for it.

 

Regarding the family living in the RV. Having a panic attack disorder doesn't require the only employed adult in the home to quit their job and take care of you ESPECIALLY when you have four children!! Two of the kids are certainly old enough to help out with their Mother's condition which would allow the Father to keep a job not having to stay home to take care of his wife. Again....priorities people!! Also, it sounds to me this family has always lived paycheck to paycheck from the time they had their first child. Then why in the world would you have three more!!!! How about getting on your feet first and having a little money saved prior to having more children??

 

In all these instances, we're not talking about legitimate circumstances where someone contracts a serious disease or illness (except for the Mother above who has the panic disorder, although they have made some poor choices as well). I'm referring to situations that are beyond anyone's control and cannot always be planned for and can leave a family in financial ruin. These are the instances where I have no problem in providing financial help. It's the ones that put theirselves in these predicaments that I have no sympany for.

G.

 

 

 

 

 
October 11, 2006, 7:40 am CDT

Dead beat fathers

I had to laugh when Dr. Phil got upset with a father that didnt pay support for a year. My daughter's father is 10,000 dollars in arrears on his child support. I have sent letter after letter to get the courts to make him pay,and it falls on deaf ears. My daughter is now in her second year of college and has not had contact with her father since she was 13 years old. Dr. Phil if you know away to get this money please share it with me.
 
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