I've read many of the responses here, so I'd like to add my own.
In regards to child support documentation:
Some say it is a way for the NCP(non-custodial parent) to control the CP (custodial parent).
My question to that is: how? If your looking at statements and not delegating where the money
is going how is that controlling the money? Though, it is a good way for the CP to be held
accountable for the Child Support (AND ONLY THE CHILD SUPPORT) provided by NCP.
Accountability, I believe is the main reason for this concern. NCP's want to know that the
money given from their paycheck is going towards THEIR child. Not providing for other
members of the household. Because it's apparent NCP's don't want to, nor should provide
for other children or spouses/boyfriends in the household.
Solution: I see one solution that may be possible WITHOUT CONTROL is to set up a bank
account that the NCP can view where that money is being spent. Checks written to grocery
stores, clothing stores and for what amount. This also keeps a record for both the CP and
NCP to provide for the court in case a court is involved with this issue.
In regards to how the money is spent:
Keep in mind that with or without the child each parent as a person would need a home,
food, water and electricity. Now, what portion of the utilities do you hold a child responsible
for? If you were married would you be charging a child for this bill? No. It would be both
parents responsibility.
Solution: Each parent provides utilities so neither household bills would be included
when figuring out child support.
Women Vs. Men:
I see the need to provide for the child. Not the adult. I've been burned of course or I wouldn't
be typing now. As for the show today. It was very apparent that if DR. PHIL were to have even
come close to siding or sympathizing with the man then his female audience (majority)
would have possibly not tuned in the next day. I see he paid her monthly bill as a favor. But
did he offer to help the man with legal help? Anything? nope.
Also, it's funny and I'm going through this now. I've read how the step moms are
understanding where the (mainly) dad is coming from. Where and how the money is spent.
Also, the stress that a mother can put on their relationship along with straining the
relationship between the father and child by creating resentment.
It appears that the people that are arguing PRO CP rights are mainly, single mothers, or
family members of single mothers along with the vast majority out there that hear one story
of a dead beat dad and from that decide that all dads are dead beat and should pay. Also,
the man on the show did not seem to be horrible in anyway, though I don't agree on him
not paying anything.
Those that have not been on the side of the fence of the NCP. Paying hundreds a month
for a child your only allowed to see 4-6 times a month and then told, The money will be
raised every 24-26 months. Also, the involvement of having the CP calling and quizzing
the NCP when the money is coming when they picking up the child and more. Strain on
any further adult relationships (I sympathize and commend any women who is going
through this out of love for their man, I hope you know that your support and understanding
is truly grateful and I hope someday will be returned to you ten fold).
My opinion:
Maybe before the court decides on who is the CP they should have more information.
I believe these are SOME relevant topics courts should look at when deciding:
- Each parents schooling (grade completed) - shows responsibility, commitment and a sense of goal accomplishment.
- Current family - does each parent have family that is willing to help raise the child? Are there any abusers (drinkers, drugs, sexual) in the family that the child may be around and harmed or influenced by?
- Housing - How does each parent live? Dirty, Clean not so much what they have but the understanding of hygiene and health in the home. This also sets a standard of what the child will learn and take with them when the grow and move out.
well that's it for my thoughts, opinions and solutions.
You may think it's outlandish but "to each their own" and remember to think with an open mind.
I know it's not all about money. But a lot of it is.
If you have not seen this first hand, maybe you should spend some time down at a teen clinic where young girls are having baby after baby "to keep the man they love".
(Original Air Date: 10/11/06) Did you know that your financial decisions could land you on the street? Are you one paycheck away from disaster? Stacey has two children and one on the way, and she says she is close to being homeless and it's the fault of her kids’ deadbeat dads, and her parents who have cut her off. Stacey's ex-husband, Pete, says their son would be better off living with him. So, why does he refuse to pay child support? And, see what Dr. Phil provides for Stacey to help get her life back on track. Then, a hidden camera experiment shows how people really treat the homeless on the streets. And, meet a family who was living paycheck-to-paycheck when the money stopped coming in, leaving them homeless. Manuel and Heather and their four children have been living cramped in their RV for the last year, where they have no electricity and must take showers at public beaches. The difficult circumstances are taking a huge toll on their family, especially the children. How did they end up in this situation? Dr. Phil makes an important, life-changing announcement to the family. Share your thoughts here.
