Quote From: soni_gIt's sad when others state that most of the homeless are looking for handouts, that they are there through their own mistakes. How untrue this is, and how sad they are viewed that way. Perhaps it's that thinking that keeps them from getting the help. Remember, "there but by the grace of God go I"? There's a lot of truth to that. I know.
I worked hard all my life and survived two of just about every disaster you can imagine. I had saved, too; had a good little nestegg built up. I was independent, hard-working, dedicated, and determined that I would live my life on my terms, having plenty to see me into my golden years, which would be spent travelling and living a darn good life. I had it all planned with the exception of making the reservations.
But life doesn't always give us what we want. My nestegg went into living expenses and doctor bills when a rare neurological condition put me out of the job market for two years. Insurance runs out when you run out of money. One disorder caused another, and as hard as I tried, it got to a point I could not work, and I was so close to retirement. But you do what you have to. The doctor had given up on me, arthritis had set in over most of my body, and he already had me riding in a wheelchair until I was 6 feet under, which he figured would be soon. I was without income, and had nowhere to turn. I ended up in a homeless shelter, and thought my life was over.
Turns out it was just beginning. My life changed when I learned the truth. Yes, many are addicts, but many are not. There were mothers with children. Some had been abandoned, some had lost everything when they lost a job or a spouse. So many situations, and so many not of their own making.
Then I ended up in a setting with incurably mentally ill people, but I wasn't incurably mentally ill. Good thing, in a way, because I found how abandoned many were. I was surrounded by paranoid schizophrenics and those with personality disorders and seriously devastating mental illnesses. They didn't put themselves there. They had been abandoned by family, by society. They had nowhere to go.
I found my way back, am less well-off financially than I was but am a much better person than I was. I talk to the street people, and I listen to them. I help when I can. I try to connect them with service agencies. If I see one who's sleeping on the street, I get a warm sweater or blanket for them. I love myself as never before and sleep better at nights knowing that I'm making a difference, even if it is only one person at a time.
We are all here to help each other, and I can state with certainty that any one of us can be there at any time. We don't need to blame those who are homeless, nor do we need to pity them. We don't need to feel guilty when we can't do anything. What we need to do is whatever is necessary to help our fellow man. We were created with love and compassion, and we owe that to all, not just those who are employed and have a big bank account.
I would suggest that you stop and talk to the homeless, it won't hurt and few will bite. Visit a shelter and listen to them. You would be amazed at what you learn, and the biggest thing you would learn is there is no room for judgment. Remember the saying, "You may not always get what you want, but you will always get what you need." We must always remember that we are in this life together. I recently read a great saying that goes, roughly, "It's not the event or circumstance that matters, it's how you respond to it that counts."
Thanks for understanding.I guess I just wanted to tell a little problem that came about because I cant afford to pay for my own bills on my own. I try to work hard and get off the system but the system keeps me down. I work a full time job as a clerk/Cashier. My take home is about $1,000 to 1,200 per month. I just started to run a online sales business to start earning more money for the family. I need to advertise the site so it will be used more. I Collect food stamps and get $230 for this and from time to time my ex husband gets a job and Child support is issued from Support enforcement. On a good month I get $300. But then the food stamps and childcare assistance aid gets cut. I reported the Avon Business persuit and so far I am at a business loss each month but Welfare office says I make an extra $150 per month because of the products I bought for me. I was drastically cut off of Daycare assistance. My "copay" went from $127 to $450 plus they don't pay for one of the kids dues to age 12 is not covered. My sitter will not work for free (for him). My rent is subsidized by HUD Section 8 program. I have to pay $375 of the $720 rent each month. My Utilites run me around $250 per month. My total daycare for 3 kids is $1,140 for full time. Daycare assistance pays around $500 That means I have to pay around $540. Now I found out that my worker accidently doubled my income in error and that my copay should have been only $237 all along. I am is such debt now that I may lose my apartment and can't pay my bills. My daycare provider wants to quit and I asked my worker to pay my sitter and credit me for the error and she said she can't retro it. What is a person to do. The error was found because I called the crisis line to let them know that I was about to commit suiside because I was in so much pain and anguish because my kids were crying with hunger and didn't want to be homeless. I also though that maybe if they were in a foster care at least they could eat better again. Now as far as the pains I have. I have severe abdominal pains and suffer from fatique. I had an exam at my doctors in '94. He told me to get tested for Uterin or Ovarian Cancer. But I have no health insurance. Welfare cut adults off of benefits just 2days before I qualified for benefits after losing my job of 3.5 years at Walmart. And Due to Fibromyalgia and Sjorgin Syndorme my mouth dries and makes my teeth / molars to crack and are falling apart . I can't afford to get the $1000 to pull them out. I am in severe pain and have had my second Rx for antibiotics for the infections in my gums. I have dental insurance but can't afford the $1000 for what is not covered by insurance. I think I am a good person and hard worker but things are definately not going well for me. I tried to get ahead before and worked two full time jobs but then my other benefits got cut and I still could not get ahead. It seems as though the truly lazy or maybe smarter ones get the best of the system. I see others going to school and getting all the living expenses paid for and they have nice homes and cars. While I struggle everyday and work all the time. What is the answer?. I often thought that the Welfare office should reward efforts like mine to get ahead and provide full benefits for families like mine for a couple years. On the terms that all the money made in that time be put in a type of savings or safe investment. This way the funds will be there in case of an emergency. I hate being on the system. I want out so bad but it is hard. I would also like to let you know that I am 50 and have 3 young kids to raise after the dads left. This is another story on its own. Yes, I do know that there are lots of people soaking the system but I found that they are rewarded more for lying and cheating than the truthful ones. I know of a lady who gets free housing, full welfare benefits and has a man in the home who is not supposed to live there. She contacted the local Abused Woman center and told her that she needed to flee an abusive situation and they gave her $2,000 to move into a home and then furnished the home. The supposed abusive man is her live in now. He never abused her but she's a good actor. What's wrong with this picture?
Sincerely distressed but trying Esther
(Original Air Date: 10/11/06) Did you know that your financial decisions could land you on the street? Are you one paycheck away from disaster? Stacey has two children and one on the way, and she says she is close to being homeless and it's the fault of her kids’ deadbeat dads, and her parents who have cut her off. Stacey's ex-husband, Pete, says their son would be better off living with him. So, why does he refuse to pay child support? And, see what Dr. Phil provides for Stacey to help get her life back on track. Then, a hidden camera experiment shows how people really treat the homeless on the streets. And, meet a family who was living paycheck-to-paycheck when the money stopped coming in, leaving them homeless. Manuel and Heather and their four children have been living cramped in their RV for the last year, where they have no electricity and must take showers at public beaches. The difficult circumstances are taking a huge toll on their family, especially the children. How did they end up in this situation? Dr. Phil makes an important, life-changing announcement to the family. Share your thoughts here.
