Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

I am also a Mother. I am married but I work full time not buy "treats and extras" but to pay for insurance and a mortgage etc.  I take great pride in the fact that WE support our child not the goverment

Now before the lot of ye reem me a new one hear why I agree on the point that Pete deserves to know where the child support is going and for the first time I DISAGREE with Dr.Phil saying it is not Petes business,blarney.....I pay child support plus arrears and like Pete I like to know where the $585.00 plus $170.00 for arrears goes to when my ex-husband gets it,I know my ex verra well,this man while married to him would spend in 1 year close to $600.00 just on High Top sneakers,I have asked my 3 children if they ever see any of the money I send they'er dad and they tell me no...the man has even in the past threatened me with Medicare for the kids which I fought due to my kids are 1/2 Native American Indian and they'er medical care is free plus dental,he was greedy man when married to him and he's worse today,my 2 oldest from that marriage are on they'er own,one is 19 and the other is 20 and my youngest is 17 and 18 next year,when I was ordered to Family court this past April I was ordered to pay an extra $100.00 a month,the judge claimed the cost of living in AK went up,well bloody whoopty do,that arse makes 5 times more than me,he even works for Social Services for the Alaska Native children,he rakes in close to 40 grand a yr,I barely make the 20 grand mark.

So with everything I just said here I feel Pete has the right to know where the money is being spent,tis my cuppance!

It's amazing this story ...  This woman knows that the guy is a dead beat.  And chances are he was a sorry man when she was with him... So why not have a kid with him.... Then she goes and gets knocked up with another kid and can't barely afford the kids she already has... GET A CLUE LADY!!!!! YOU'RE MOM ISN'T GOING TO BE AROUND FOREVER TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND TO SUPPORT YOU... If this idiot guy that hasn't paid child support for a year guess what he isn't going to pay unless he feels like it.  Press the issue have him locked up.. Like Dr. Phil said what are you going to lose?  I have four children. The father of my oldest 3 kids don't pay support.  I am 29 years old and remarried with a daughter from me and my hubby.. .Guess what I don't rely on my ex's childsupport payments. Do you know why?  Because I know he's not going to pay... Do I care? No!  But I enjoy everytime he gets locked up... You know how my oldest kids feel about their biological father.. They hate him! They know that he doesn't pay his support I don't hide anything from them.. They form thier own opinions so I feel they should have all the information.  This guy makes me want to slap the taste out of his mouth.. "He don't know where the money goes".. Here's a clue you jerk! IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY!  THAT CHILDSUPPORT GOES TO YOUR KID.. NOT TO YOU!  If she uses it to buy groceries or to pay a bill, then you should rest knowing that you did your part to take care of your child.... And girl if you are working and not making enough money.. Then try this stay off your back making kids and work two jobs!   Women raise kids by themselves everyday.. You are no different... Get real!

This show is very sensitive for me. I am also a single mother with three children. I did not choose to get divorced 6 years ago. My X husband decided that cocaine and strippers were a better life for himself. He walked out! I fought aggressively for child support the first three years. I had him arrested. He served 30 days when I realized, he was $11,000 in arrears and was accruing more debt sitting in jail. My children were never going to get the financial support necessary from their dad. Especially sitting in jail. He already had chosen not to be a part of their life mentally. Cocaine and his new girlfriend were more important. I made the decision to excuse the arrears and start fresh with the hopes the judge could instill the fear of god in this man. Since he has been late and have had to be ruled in 3 more times but, he manages to keep himself out of jail. My complaint with Dr. Phil on today's show was not explaining to this man that child support is not to go out and buy clothes monthly, computers or whatever this warped man is thinking. yes, his ex wife sounds irresponsible but, I am not walking in her shoes. I work two jobs, keep insurance on my children. Do not collect welfare and rely on child support as a supplement to ensure that my children have everything they need from electricity, food, clothes. I do not feel like I should have to itemize how my child support payments are spent. As long as my children are taken care of and have things they need. As a parent, I make sacrifices everyday to ensure their health, safety and well being. I expect the non custodial parent to do their part as well. In my state. Not having a job is no excuse for not paying child support. The judge has told my X husband that he was able to make a certain amount at the time of the court order. He should be able to make that amount now. Get two jobs. Do what you have to do.

My husband and I only have ONE child as well, because we want to give him the best of everything, including private education. We know that if we have more than one child, we will not be able to provide the best, so this was the choice that we made. There is definitely BIRTH CONTROL. We've been married almost 15 years, so believe me, pregnancy can be avoided!!!! PEOPLE NEED TO LIVE WITHIN THEIR MEANS!!!!!

You showed up for the show, that's  great.  Do better by your son for his sake not your Ex's.  I agree that she is a flake.  Send your son cards and letters and tell him what you are interested in.  He will love it, it's cheap and very rewarding.  Do send him money because you love him- and I believe you do.  He is counting on you.  You can make a real difference in your son's life.

 

Heaven help her other two kids- and I mean that literally.  Dr. Phil sees hope there, I don't.

 

You seem sane Pete, that's why I took the time to write this.  There is a lot of hope for you and therefore your son- he needs you.  Hang in there and don't give up on your son. Good Luck

Dr Phil I work with the homeless at our church.  I have worked there for the past three year.  I feed them, help them find shelter, jobs and mental and medical care.  I really did not like your approach with just putting people on the street begging for money and then saying people don't care.  Frankly we do not hand out cash but vouchers to all.  W pay people's rent, utilities, food, medicine, etc., hotel rooms and bus rides.  We found out that many people cash goes for drugs or alcohol or they may be mugged by others.  I personall would never give anyone on the street in Las Vegas cash, but I may go with them to buy a meal, get shelter, food, or what they need.  It really is not a good idea to give them cash as it may just feel their addiction and their family who maybe also on the street left with nothing. 

 

In our area there is not enough shelter. a lot of the homeless have jobs but the cost of living is too high.  I would personally like to see you and your friends help build shelter instead of saying people don't care.  I deal daily with homeless people who don't want to live in a shelter but would rather be homeless.  I sometimes have to go to court as they get arrest for tresspassing, which is a crime, (sleeping on the streets.)  A lot of our people are schizophrenics and really need help but even if they agree to go into treatment, insurance won't pay, until they become a danger to others or themselves.  Even starving is not concered a danger to oneself.    I have seen mother's and their newborn released from a hospital without a place to live.  I could go on and on but I think you get what I am saying.

 

I think people care but really don't know how to help.

 

Missy

I'm not able to watch this show today, but I heard something that causes me great concern from Dr. Phil...something to the affect that it's non of his (the person paying child support) where the D*** money goes!"  I beg to disagree.

 

My ex and I divorced in 1999.  I should have gotten custody of our four children, but that's a whole nother story.  He CHOSE not to work; he and his girlfriend were expecting a child (before the divorce); he convinced her to quit her job and they both got everything they could from welfare and student loans and pell grants so they could BOTH go back to school.  My four kids were DROWNING in responsibility because he was too busy going to school and helping his girlfriend with her studies and oh, yes, let's not forget, he found time to add ANOTHER child he couldn't afford to support!  In the meantime, sometimes I held THREE jobs to support my children.  Now I live on a very small non-service related VA pension and I pay what I can.  When I WAS paying, he still screamed at me for "extras" (which he could have afforded had he not had two more children).  I'm now so far behind in my support obligations that it will take me the rest of my life to get out from under.  When he DOES get the money, he spends it on toys for the "babies", contact lenses for his "wife", and student loans.  I still buy my kids the mojority of their clothing (Goodwill, consignment stores and garage sales are my BEST friends and my kids are very thrifty now, too.)  But THEY know this is a joke and I DO think I have the right to know where the hell he spends that money 'cause it DOES NOT ALL GO TO THE COST AND CARE OF the children we had!

 

You are out of line on this one, Dr. Phil.  I think all states should be like Wisconsin.  You get to have ONE child that the welfare system will support.  After that, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!  I worked hard all my life, served my country and I get the SHAFT!!!!

 

I live in Iowa and now I spend my days trying to lobby for equal parental rights.  Most people don't know that child support is a big money industry, funded by our federal government.  My ex was capable to work; Iowa guidelines said he didn't have to because he had "little ones".  What a CROCK!!!

 

Thanks,

 

Kathryn

I'll have to admit, I've given money to homeless people a time or two. But one day a friend of mine that works at a bank told me that a homeless lady came in to deposit $1.50 into her account. My friend didn't believe that it was their account so she had the lady show I.D. and compared signatures. It was the homeless lady's account and I don't want to say EXACTLY how much she had but it was way over $50,000. I know that's a whole lot more than I have. Ever since that day I haven't given any homeless people money. I'm not saying that they all have a bunch of money in their accounts, if they even have accounts, but it just hurts to know that someone would take your money when they don't really need it. Since I can't tell who needs it and who doesn't, then I'll just donate money to The Salvation Army, Red Cross, etc.

If Pete asks a judge or even domestic relations (childsupport office) where his money goes they both are more than likely to tell him that it's not his business..Because the way it's looked at is that Pete has a responsiblity to pay his support. That's it.  And just because  a kid (s) don't see any child support doesn't mean it doesn't come in and help support them... I do feel that if child support is being paid or not then the child(ren) have a right to know either way.... I tell my children when and if thier father  pays and I also tell them when he doesn't... I look at it this way, my kids are going to form thier own opinion and I want them to form an opinion about anything and anyone with all the information not just speckalation.