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Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

Number of Replies: 771

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Created on : Thursday, October 05, 2006, 04:42:21 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/11/06) Did you know that your financial decisions could land you on the street? Are you one paycheck away from disaster? Stacey has two children and one on the way, and she says she is close to being homeless and it's the fault of her kids’ deadbeat dads, and her parents who have cut her off. Stacey's ex-husband, Pete, says their son would be better off living with him. So, why does he refuse to pay child support? And, see what Dr. Phil provides for Stacey to help get her life back on track. Then, a hidden camera experiment shows how people really treat the homeless on the streets. And, meet a family who was living paycheck-to-paycheck when the money stopped coming in, leaving them homeless. Manuel and Heather and their four children have been living cramped in their RV for the last year, where they have no electricity and must take showers at public beaches. The difficult circumstances are taking a huge toll on their family, especially the children. How did they end up in this situation? Dr. Phil makes an important, life-changing announcement to the family. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happpened on the show.

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lcoada

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October 11, 2006, 4:33 pm PDT

Getting More

I have an even better idea, why doesn't the parents get divorced so that then, each of their children will get a full ride to college on tax payers money. That should just about cover all bases.

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lcoada

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October 11, 2006, 4:34 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: model26

Dear Dr. Phil and Staff, My family needs some advice and help. I had to undergo 2 major surgeries and missed 20 weeks of work and income due to cancer and it snowballed us.We don't know how to get out of this rut.We are scared we could lose everything that we have worked so hard for.My dream would be to find a sponser to help us get out of this mess.We are living paycheck to paycheck.It is so scary.I feel depressed alot because if I wouldn't of gotten sick we wouldn't be in this mess.Please help us.Thanks,Jodee

Why don't you get a job instead of a sponsor - it will pay more in the long run...

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anjenise

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October 11, 2006, 4:37 pm PDT

Child Support

Quote From: s_h_corey

No, fathers, like mothers, just want an excuse to have everything their way. I am not surprised by this. I just want those who confront them to consider all the factors, both the good and the bad. Did you know that 60% of all court decisions favour the mother? She is considered the better parent. And even if the father gets the majority of the custody, she can still reapply and get the court to reverse its decision? 60% of the time?

This is not about money. This is about following the court's orders. Fathers are always held contemptible for not paying, for not obeying the court, but mothers seldom are held contemptible for not giving their children the access to their father, even when ordered by the courts.

I think that all custody hearings should have the mother and the father as plaintiffs and the children as defendants. Each would have to show why they could not live up to their obligations as parents, and not why they are better than the other. The courts ruling would be in favour of the defendants unless a complelling reason was given. And if one did not comform to the court's ruling, it does not effect its ruling on the other.

And yes, you are right. I did not watch the entire show. I can only withstand so much male-bashing, then I use the big red button marked "Power".

A men to that! God see's all and hears all.......our men will be taken care of one day. They don't say hell on Earth for nothing.............

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happyinidaho

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October 11, 2006, 4:37 pm PDT

homeless

Today's show was the first time I have ever been confused about Dr. Phil's actions. I can't believe he took someone who won't get up for and be on time to work and handed them the things he did. They had the lamest excuses I have ever heard. It made me upsest because there are people who truely have medical problems that prevent them from working. These people just appeared to be lazy and unmotivated. It was too hard to get up on time. It was too hard to drive around to find a job. It was too hard. They need to quit being selfish and think of their kids. Everything this couple said was concerning themselves. They didn't mention their kids' suffering. Only theirs.They weren't willing to do the things that they needed to do to take care of their family. The father had no reason to not be working. His children were in school all day long. He didn't have little ones at home to physically care for. I can't believe Dr. Phil just gave them a place to live. Why didn't Dr. Phil point them in the direction to be able to find some help? Make them work at something. If they aren't going to really work and have jobs at least make them work to get some assistance. In my eyes, Dr. Phil just made his first big mistake. I almost have a different opinion of him.I've never seen him be so easy on someone that needed to be tough on them. HUMMMMM

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godsgracegoi

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October 11, 2006, 4:38 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: anywhereelse

Watching the show today was hard. I am a single mother of two children, going to school full time (graduating in November) in order to have a career so that I can make good money and support my children.I live in an apartment, we have no cable, just a regular telephone and internet, no special items, we eat out once a month (usually pizza), we don't do special things that most family do because it's a sacrifice that I made in order to make a better life in the long run for us. There are two sides and both in this case suck. Pete says he can't pay shold support because he makes no money and yet he says that if he got custody of his son he could support him by working. he sounds bitter because he has to pay for his child and he's the one that chose to move away and not seek a relationship with his son. When they do go back to court he will still have to pay that back child support either by the court adding additional each month or taking it out of his tax returns, he's hurting himself and his son. Stacy has alternatives as well. There are places to live that are income restricted, welfare, childrens cabinet (assistance with childcare while in school or working alsp income based) she's abusing the system as well. I have one child support income that is court ordered and one that is simply paid each month because he is owning up to his obligation. He also thought like Pete that a child cannot be an expense of $400 or $500 a month. Most men (no offense) that I know would never think that child care would be $400.00 - $500.00 a month per child. And saying that women shouldn't have children is not fair either. i was with my first daughter's father for 11 years and he cheated, my second daughter's father and I lived together for a little over two years and he left when I wouldn't get rid my child. So not all having baby issues are black and white.

I have the same sentiments. I am in college also full-time but will not finish with my degree until June 2008. You are very fortunate to afford to go out to eat. My children and I can not afford to. I go to collge over the net because I can not afford gas and child care for my children and school. I also see many mothers who abuse the system. I had to sign off welfare to go to school because I failed the state test (I am proudly an A student); according to the test I would be able to pass a class. I do get food stamps and medical because my ex does not have to pay child support. I do agree that not all baby issues are black and white but I choose to get fixed after the birth of my last child; so I would not be bringing in another baby that I can not afford. I feel that both of us are making responsible choices by keeping our children and going back to school we are teaching them something. That in life there are sacrifices and when you get knocked down, you dust your butte and knees off, get up and find another alternative. That way we are supporting our children and the men don't have to worry about where the money is going. In my case my ex can take his money that he doesn't have to pay and shove it where the sun don't shine. My ex tried to kill us- that is why I left after 17 years. My fiance is trying to get a job; maybe tomorrow someone will give him a break when he is out applying again.

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mkresner

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October 11, 2006, 4:41 pm PDT

It's not Dad's money

Quote From: diane0313

I would have had no problem with showing my son's father how I spent his money, if he would have only paid his support, no he dodged the system for years moving all over the country before the courts finally tracked him down. Then he paid support for a whole 9 months and got himself in trouble with the law and ended up in jail. HIs mother called me and said "there will be no more support!" wow... like it was a gift or something, instead of something I counted on to take care of my son.

Yes I worked 40 hours a week, I paid for day care, put my son in sports, didn't go out much and rarely had a babysitter other than for work. We survived and it was tough, I never took any welfare because I didn't qualify because I had a job -- probably would have been better off just to quit work and stay home. I was forced to make some decisions that I really didn't want to do, namely marry someone else just to have more income so I could support my son.. My ex never called, never paid and my new husband had to step in and be DAD.... of course he hated it and eventually we split up, but no Dr. Phil I was smart enough not to have any more children.

I could have happily shown him exactly what I did with that when I did get support, but I never even got the chance.

It's the child's money. What drive's me nuts is when parents, like Pete, say "I'm not going to pay her rent, groceries, electric bill, etc." Isn't his child living in that home? Eating those groceries? Turning on those lights? Or is the parent doing it all by her or him self? And when parents like Pete don't pay child support, does that mean the child stops eating? Needing a place to live? Going to school? Life goes on. With or without child support. The people who really pay are the children.

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audesapere

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October 11, 2006, 4:42 pm PDT

Money?

So all moms are just about the hard cash, not about their kids that need their father! The justice system needs a change and give fathers more rights! Cuz women like this aren't fit to be a mom, eventhough they keep making kids everywhere with everyone! Making a kid isn't that hard! Being a good parent is what counts! Not a paycheck! A father being there!

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spaneamate

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hopeful

October 11, 2006, 4:42 pm PDT

Life Coach?

Dr. Phil refered the lady on today's show to a "life coach". No matter where I go on the web site, I can not find a reference to these people. I would love to have a consultation with someone who is more than just a therapist. I am 48, my kids are mostly grown, and I have kind of lost my way. I have always worked with small children (educator, child care provider, mom), and I am the financial manager for our family business, but I feel like I am ready to do more... something that I could get passionate about as I enter this new time in my life. Anyone have any clue as to where I could begin to look for a "life coach"?

Momma

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heather3959

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October 11, 2006, 4:44 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

I do not agree that this mother cannot afford to live I was a single mom of four girls for almost 8 years with little or no support from my exhusband and I have done quite well for myself and them I work full time and go to school full time these women need to get there prioritys in order you do not need a brand new car drive one that is a little older just take well care of it. I am so sick of people living off the system and looking for hand outs if I can make it so can you. some people need to learn how to manage there money better if you don't have the money to eat out and buy fancy things then don't do it learn to pay your bills first then see whats left over My ex owes me over $30,000 in back support yes it would be great to get it but you know what I have lived without it for this long if and when I do get it my children can get some really nice things. There are ways to get out of financial trouble you just need to learn how to do it.

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puddysgal

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October 11, 2006, 4:48 pm PDT

I agree

Quote From: peachy1

I think Dr. Phil was very unfair and unbelievably sarcastic to Pete. He's always preaching to couples whose marriages are in trouble that you should do everything you can to try to repair the relationship and save the family before just giving up and taking the easy way out . Pete stated that he wanted to try and save their marriage but his ex-wife didn't want any part of it. He did pay child support for how long before his income changed??? No credit for that. I don't know how Pete took care of himself on less than $10,000 a year never mind sending money that wasn't even going to be used for what it was intended for - namely Pete's son. Meanwhile, the ex-wife is borrowing from her mother, driving around in a new car and getting pregnant AGAIN and Dr. Phil's giving Pete the hard time. At least Pete is trying to do something legal about it by going through the court. What's his ex-wife doing? By going to court Pete also knows that the judge will make him pay the unpaid child support but it doesn't sound to me like Pete has a problem taking care of HIS child as long as he can be assured that it is going to his child. In my opinion, when Pete called Dr. Phil out on the way he was talking down to Pete as if he were an uncaring father, Dr Phil just came off as someone who thinks they are superior and putting you back in your place. I hope that Pete will get what he wants from the courts and is able to go back to providing for HIS son as I know he wants to do. Just because she has custody doesn't mean that she should be able to do what she does and doesn't want to do.

Signed,

Ticked off on Pete's behalf and I don't even know the guy!

Although I am a little leery or Pete mostly by the way he presented himself I agree that Dr. Phil was harder on him that he should have been. I think the supporting parent has EVERY right to know where that money is going. You know as well as I do that not all mothers put that money toward the child. Transpiration, a warm roof over the child's head, food, clothing, education are all needed. But this mother certainly doesn't prove much in credibility just by the fact she can't keep her legs shut.

She is looking for a cash cow. Whomever she can get pregnant with she gets more money. Pete knows that and that is why he is mad. She gets pregnant because she wants to. I am personally sick of the " It was a mistake that I got pregnant " excuse 2,3,4 times that women use. AS WELL as men that can't do what they need to do to make sure they don't get themselves in these situations. Both parties are responsible. ( not Pete but men in general )

Dr. Phil should have taken half the conversation he had with Pete and directed it at her. Pete is wrong for not paying and not going through the channels needed to change the support he felt was wrong. But she is just a user, a lazy person that just wants to get her money off other people.

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