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Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

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Created on : Thursday, October 05, 2006, 04:42:21 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/11/06) Did you know that your financial decisions could land you on the street? Are you one paycheck away from disaster? Stacey has two children and one on the way, and she says she is close to being homeless and it's the fault of her kids’ deadbeat dads, and her parents who have cut her off. Stacey's ex-husband, Pete, says their son would be better off living with him. So, why does he refuse to pay child support? And, see what Dr. Phil provides for Stacey to help get her life back on track. Then, a hidden camera experiment shows how people really treat the homeless on the streets. And, meet a family who was living paycheck-to-paycheck when the money stopped coming in, leaving them homeless. Manuel and Heather and their four children have been living cramped in their RV for the last year, where they have no electricity and must take showers at public beaches. The difficult circumstances are taking a huge toll on their family, especially the children. How did they end up in this situation? Dr. Phil makes an important, life-changing announcement to the family. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happpened on the show.

More December 2006 Show Boards.

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carolann31

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October 11, 2006, 5:12 pm PDT

Part II

Quote From: happyinidaho

Today's show was the first time I have ever been confused about Dr. Phil's actions. I can't believe he took someone who won't get up for and be on time to work and handed them the things he did. They had the lamest excuses I have ever heard. It made me upsest because there are people who truely have medical problems that prevent them from working. These people just appeared to be lazy and unmotivated. It was too hard to get up on time. It was too hard to drive around to find a job. It was too hard. They need to quit being selfish and think of their kids. Everything this couple said was concerning themselves. They didn't mention their kids' suffering. Only theirs.They weren't willing to do the things that they needed to do to take care of their family. The father had no reason to not be working. His children were in school all day long. He didn't have little ones at home to physically care for. I can't believe Dr. Phil just gave them a place to live. Why didn't Dr. Phil point them in the direction to be able to find some help? Make them work at something. If they aren't going to really work and have jobs at least make them work to get some assistance. In my eyes, Dr. Phil just made his first big mistake. I almost have a different opinion of him.I've never seen him be so easy on someone that needed to be tough on them. HUMMMMM

Yeah, and the next time we see them, the Townhouse will be on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and dad will still be home taking care of his wife and four adult children.

Dr. Phil should be like God and help those who help themselves.

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guirt1

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confused

October 11, 2006, 5:13 pm PDT

Dr. Phil have you ever paid Child Support?

What the HECK are you thinking Dr. Phil????????

OK my husband is a PERFECT poster child for this show he shares JOINT custody with his ex-wife. His ex-wife gets $1000.00 a month in child support, she quit her job so she could go back to school to get her master's degree, and lives in an area that has no job growth potential. She is on public assistance for rent, pays no daycare, no medical nothing!!!!! She lives on child support and the system. Oh and went back to school for this THIRD time with a Pell Grant!

Those children have a father that loves them and wants to be part of their lives but feels like he has been reduced to a visiting cash friendly uncle.

So Pete's comment that the system is broken is correct. The child support needs to be a justifiable amount, the mother should have to show where this money goes and make them accountable instead of just giving away this money.

The child support system has become a great tool for bitter women to try to screw their ex-husbands, and poorly reflects on the women who get child support but continue to try to support the children by contributing financially to the household.

So who is the lesser of the two evils here? The father is not right just stopping paying, however ANYONE who pays their hard earned money for child support should know WHERE the money is going for the children and that the children are benefiting from it meaning what does it pay for? Why is it the mother is allowed to know the fathers pay when it changes but the men are not allowed to know what the mother is making? (at least that is how it is in the State of Pennsylvania).

PLEASE email me he'd love to bend your ear for a while and hear our horror story about child support. When you walk a mile in a person's shoes that pays child support to a person who thinks it's to pay their credit cards, and go on vacation with their many boyfriends, then you have the right to say IT's none of your business where the money goes.

I have NEVER disagreed with anything you have to say but you are wrong to condemn this man for wanting to know where his money is going to support his child.

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guirt1

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giddy

October 11, 2006, 5:17 pm PDT

Amen!!!!!

Quote From: carolann31

I've been a single working woman for 20 years and I still can't afford to buy a house. So, if I start sleeping in and get fired from my job will I get a free townhouse too?

Dr. Phil, what sob story do I need to come up with to get a new house?... yes, I know they're going to "pay what they can afford" but these days the average mortgage is at least $1,200. In CA it's about $3,000. I'd like one for $400 a month too.

I still thinks this sends the wrong message. I tuned in and waited until the end of the show expecting to learn more about being a responsible parent (yes, that means taking jobs that don't always pay well or may be "below" you), keeping a job and spending responsbibly.

Those kids don't need a house... they need better educated parents.

How many people on food stamps and welfare are paying for cable every month? Give me a break!

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are absolutley correct!! People need a hand up not a hand out!

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gshamilton

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October 11, 2006, 5:18 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: spaneamate

Dr. Phil refered the lady on today's show to a "life coach". No matter where I go on the web site, I can not find a reference to these people. I would love to have a consultation with someone who is more than just a therapist. I am 48, my kids are mostly grown, and I have kind of lost my way. I have always worked with small children (educator, child care provider, mom), and I am the financial manager for our family business, but I feel like I am ready to do more... something that I could get passionate about as I enter this new time in my life. Anyone have any clue as to where I could begin to look for a "life coach"?

Momma

I too am interested in findng a life coach, I guess we do a google search?

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audesapere

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October 11, 2006, 5:20 pm PDT

cmon now!

that mother in the beginning of the show, doesn't deserve any help, she made the mistakes, not the one guy that didn't run away from her.

I wont buy a new car when I already have 2 kids that need food. I would care more for the dad being there for my kids then about the money he will pay me. But maybe I'm just weird like that, thinking that kids need good parents, when that obviously isn't important at all anymore in this society.

She should stop leeching of her parents, and start being a good mom, instead of making kids everywhere, and then wanting money from 1 of the dads and ignoring the other 2.

And she gets her rent paid for being a bad mom, cuz she obviously deserves credit...NOT.

And the poor dad gets verbally attacked, because he had financial trouble too for a year...What makes her more important? Why are only her money problems an issue? Can you explain to me why 1 parent gets favoured over the other?

It takes 2 people to create life..not 1!

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solarisgeek

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October 11, 2006, 5:21 pm PDT

Men need protection from vampires

There are many men who have been financially wrecked by vampire-women whose primary goal in their early life is to find a sugar-daddy. When that proves difficult, they turn to having children. Draconian and backwards-looking child-support laws that turn a blind eye to the finances of the mother and force no accountability for the spending of collected child support provide fertile ground for such women.

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carolann31

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October 11, 2006, 5:21 pm PDT

Interesting Idea

Quote From: singlemother

I'm sorry, but as a single mother, I know the frustration of not receiving your child support on time or ever. I was pretty young and naive at first and thought he just didn't want to support his child. I learned though, He viewed child support as reward or punishment, I was being punished. My daughter is now 28, and when she graduated high school he still owed more than 15000. in back support. In talking to some single fathers, I have found that most of them view child support the same way. My daughter did not lack for anything she needed, I always supported her, but what did she want that I could not give her? Lots of things that were not in our budget. Thanks DAD!

My friends and I were talking about single motherhood and the welfare system and we came up with an idea. When we all got out of high school and college we couldn't afford apartments without having a roommate to share the bills. Instant double income!

Why not come up with a plan to allow single mothers to share housing with other single mothers. I know that it would be hard to manage and that most grown women with children are pretty idependent but why are our taxes paying for people to live in single or zero income households when they can live so much more cheaply with roommates?

I couldn't afford to have my "own place" for years and I was working FULL TIME. Why do people on welfare have that luxury?

Another benefit is that the single mothers could take turns working or going to school. One can go in the day and the other could go at night. They would have to trust each other with babysitting each others' kids but they would earn the skills and income to eventually get out of the system. They could potentially function as a two-parent family.

When I'm rich, someday, I'm going to set up a half-way house that does this.

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afraid

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chillin'

October 11, 2006, 5:22 pm PDT

when dr phil told pete it was none of his business

Quote From: jacoliv

Dr. Phil,

I am hoping that your comment about it not being any of the fathers business where the money goes was said because he had gotten you riled up. Becuase that topped the list of the most stupid things i've heard this week. Please dont think I am a deadbeat dad, im not, I am a married man with a wonderful wife and two wonderful children so I don't favor one side or the other here and I do not condone the father not following the court order. I even agree that the right thing to do is to pay what the court tells you to pay and while you are paying you can always dispute it in court if you think its not fair.

But to say that as a divorced father paying child support it is none of your business where that money goes is just wrong. The law may not require an accounting of the money but it most certainly should. I think you should be saying you are sorry to all the divorced men out there that are paying support and want to know that their children are receiving the kind of care and life that they should be getting out of it.

pete said he didnt feel he should have to pay her rent, so relly as long as the money is being spent on things like food -rent -utilitys- clothing relly it isnt his business, all these things the child needs ,you just took what dr phil was refering to the wrong way or maybe you just didnt hear what pete was using for his reason in part for not paying anything,

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afraid

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October 11, 2006, 5:26 pm PDT

wow i cant beleive you can be so heartless

Quote From: carolann31

I've been a single working woman for 20 years and I still can't afford to buy a house. So, if I start sleeping in and get fired from my job will I get a free townhouse too?

Those kids don't need a house... they need better educated parents.

How many people on food stamps and welfare are paying for cable every month? Give me a break!

dr phil didnt give this family a hand out,!! he only steered them in the wright direction , beleive it or not but not every one knows how to go about getting help in that famileys shoues,

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faeryedark

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October 11, 2006, 5:29 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: maritimer9

My dear woman! Fredericton has a good food bank located just off Montgomery Street on Grandame (near the UNB campus). Lots of businesses, churches, and schools support it. There is NO reason for you to go hungry. That's what the Food Bank is for! You've lost your job and need some additional help, esplly if your UI has run out. Make a call and find out how you can get some food. I think they provide food weekly, but I could be mistaken, and I'm sure there are arrangements for people w/out cars to get there.

Also, you didn't say whether or not you belong to a church or other community of faith, but often those people look for families to help, particularly with Christmas coming up.

I know that rent is way too high in F'ton and I'm sorry you had to lose your house. But don't despair. I'm a mother too and I understand of course you'll put your son and husband first, but YOU shouldn't have to go to bed hungry. Get some food; get some emotional support from the community; and good luck on your job hunt!

This person could also perhaps offer to volunteer with the food pantries in her area,kinda like a trade off her skills for some extra supplies, and hey possible connections.

I know what it's like,'cause I was there myself 6 months ago. Our family spent 5 months in our local homeless shelter after we had to leave our home of 6 yrs. We were priced out of our rental by the new landlord,who raised our rent by $300 amonth. We were blessed to have and be able to keep our jobs but were up against stiff competion for the few rentals big enough that we could afford. I laid in bed many a night wondering if I should put my kids through what we were going through.

Hang in there , call the churches,and the pantries and get to know your neighbors,perhaps you can "go in "together on meals. Also, check for frugal tips on the internet I've seen lots of them. I"ve read a piece on how to survive off of ten dollars a week. It was quite interesting and inventive.

God bless you, and good luck

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