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Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

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Created on : Thursday, October 05, 2006, 04:42:21 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/11/06) Did you know that your financial decisions could land you on the street? Are you one paycheck away from disaster? Stacey has two children and one on the way, and she says she is close to being homeless and it's the fault of her kids’ deadbeat dads, and her parents who have cut her off. Stacey's ex-husband, Pete, says their son would be better off living with him. So, why does he refuse to pay child support? And, see what Dr. Phil provides for Stacey to help get her life back on track. Then, a hidden camera experiment shows how people really treat the homeless on the streets. And, meet a family who was living paycheck-to-paycheck when the money stopped coming in, leaving them homeless. Manuel and Heather and their four children have been living cramped in their RV for the last year, where they have no electricity and must take showers at public beaches. The difficult circumstances are taking a huge toll on their family, especially the children. How did they end up in this situation? Dr. Phil makes an important, life-changing announcement to the family. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happpened on the show.

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singlemother

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October 11, 2006, 6:14 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: our4sons

Quote From: burlington

"Okay, I don't really know anything about receiving or paying child support but,

I was once told that instead of giving the custodial parent a check that the person paying could go to the grocery and purchase groceries and deliver the food to the child's house and save the receipts. Go to a clothing store and purchase clothing and again save the receipts. This way the non-custodial parent knows that their support monies is in fact feeding and clothing the child. They could even purchase lunch tickets for school, purchase school supplies etc.

Has anyone else heard of this and do courts accept this way of support?"

I actually agree that this may be a good idea. It would also force more parents to actually spend that time with the child(ren) they no longer live with. It could help weed out who is & who isn't the better parent as well.

Are you crazy? Do you really think the parent who does not live with the child really knows what the child needs? In my case the child support we did receive, rarely, was for having fun, We could not include it in our budget because we so rarely got it, when we did we did something fun, something we could not otherwise afford. When my daughter turned 18 and the child support order expired, he still owed more than 15000. in back support. his order was only 285. a month! Even the District Attorney in our area gave up trying to collect. I worked sometimes 2 jobs to give her what she needed, rent, medical care, food, clothing, and lunch money. What she didn't have were all the little extras, a second pair of shoes, the newest CD's, cable, tires on the family car with legal tread. Her father who didn't have time to come see her because he had a second family, could not possibly know what what she needed. (please note that after a second divorce his new family also suffered the same child supportless fate)

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mrsfarr

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October 11, 2006, 6:17 pm PDT

unpaid child support

My sister is going thru the same thing , not recieving child support, my question is this: what part of court ordered child support doesnt he understand?

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bear_ta

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October 11, 2006, 6:19 pm PDT

And just in time for Hallowe'en...

Quote From: solarisgeek

There are many men who have been financially wrecked by vampire-women whose primary goal in their early life is to find a sugar-daddy. When that proves difficult, they turn to having children. Draconian and backwards-looking child-support laws that turn a blind eye to the finances of the mother and force no accountability for the spending of collected child support provide fertile ground for such women.

Thank you so much. You made my husband and I giggle 'til we cried. If you (general you) don't want to be embroiled in a future child support issue keep it in your pants, or use the services of a professional. Have a great day.

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vbmom11

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October 11, 2006, 6:23 pm PDT

dead beat parents

While watching the show I could feel my blood pressure rise. If the father in this case cared about his son he should have paid something. The custodial parent spends the support to maintain a place for the child to live, groceries, utilities, phone service, gas (don't forget they need transported). My ex used to question his payments to me. I never got a break from our child, he would show up once a year, take her shopping and out to dinner and back before 10:00pm so that he could go out. The custodial parent is the one who loses sleep when the child is sick, never gets a night out unless they pay a babysitter, give me a break. He should be in jail, true, she wouldn't get any child support, but at least he would know what it is like to have his fun and leisure times taken away.

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anywhereelse

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October 11, 2006, 6:27 pm PDT

Not entitled to receipts

Quote From: s_h_corey

Dear Dr. Phil,

You are prejudice. You think because the father did not pay child support that he is wrong. You did not consider the mother. When she moves his children out of reach, she has violated the court's decision. Although she is the legal guardian for most of the time, she is not for all the time. If she moves his children out of easy commute, she is responsible for transporting them to him. You ask him, 'Why are you not paying child support?' You do not ask her, 'Why are you depriving your children of their father?' 'Why are you hurting your children to hurt him?'

You are concerned about dead-beat dads. You are not concerned about dead-beat moms. Those mothers who, for one reason or another, do not turn over their children to their fathers when obligated by the courts. And no, there is not equal time for equal time. If she asks him to babysit on Monday night then that is babysitting (and for free). She still has to give him full time on Wednesday night; that's what the courts ruled.

And yes, any parent who is ordered to pay child support is entitled to see all receipts. The other spouse must prove that the child support payment actually goes to child support. Anything else is fraud.

Mothers are no better at being parents than fathers. There are no differences between the sexes.

First off, Pete said that HE MOVED AWAY BECAUSE LIFE WAS TOOOOOO HARD FOR HIM in the town that he grew up in and his son lives in. And yes there are dead beat moms just like dads. He stated that he couldn't afford to pay child support so basically he admitted on national television that he was evading his child support obligations, his words were, if I had my son i could get a good job and my job outlook is getting better. Regardless of his opinion of Stacey, the only person he is really hurting is his son. Everyone is okay with pay this amount and I want a receipt for every cent that is spent. well how's this, $420 a month for child care ($105.00/week), 1/2 would be $210, now lets factor in 1/3 of the cost of everything else, and I say 1/3 because example I have 2 children: transportation monthly $280.00 (1/3 $93.00); eletric bill $100.00 (1/3 $33.00), roof over our head $829.00 (1/3 $276.00) Food $400.00 (1/3 133) and it would be more if my child was in diapers and on formula, but I guess most people forget about that. and

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danjennjohnson

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October 11, 2006, 6:27 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Right on that is what I have been sayin all day! I also agree with the one before that said Dr. Phil owes all of those men that do try to do the right thing an apology. Not all men are the same or women for that matter, what counts is that they are there for their children not to meet a financial obligation or retirement plan for the mothers!

Thanks from KY

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danjennjohnson

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October 11, 2006, 6:30 pm PDT

10/11 One Paycheck Away

Quote From: guirt1

What the HECK are you thinking Dr. Phil????????

OK my husband is a PERFECT poster child for this show he shares JOINT custody with his ex-wife. His ex-wife gets $1000.00 a month in child support, she quit her job so she could go back to school to get her master's degree, and lives in an area that has no job growth potential. She is on public assistance for rent, pays no daycare, no medical nothing!!!!! She lives on child support and the system. Oh and went back to school for this THIRD time with a Pell Grant!

Those children have a father that loves them and wants to be part of their lives but feels like he has been reduced to a visiting cash friendly uncle.

So Pete's comment that the system is broken is correct. The child support needs to be a justifiable amount, the mother should have to show where this money goes and make them accountable instead of just giving away this money.

The child support system has become a great tool for bitter women to try to screw their ex-husbands, and poorly reflects on the women who get child support but continue to try to support the children by contributing financially to the household.

So who is the lesser of the two evils here? The father is not right just stopping paying, however ANYONE who pays their hard earned money for child support should know WHERE the money is going for the children and that the children are benefiting from it meaning what does it pay for? Why is it the mother is allowed to know the fathers pay when it changes but the men are not allowed to know what the mother is making? (at least that is how it is in the State of Pennsylvania).

PLEASE email me he'd love to bend your ear for a while and hear our horror story about child support. When you walk a mile in a person's shoes that pays child support to a person who thinks it's to pay their credit cards, and go on vacation with their many boyfriends, then you have the right to say IT's none of your business where the money goes.

I have NEVER disagreed with anything you have to say but you are wrong to condemn this man for wanting to know where his money is going to support his child.

Not only in Pennsylvania, WI too, they might even be worse, I dunno but AMEN to what you said!!! We do have a right to know!!

Thanks from KY

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imamosaic

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October 11, 2006, 6:40 pm PDT

The State Wants Receipts

If a child is supported by the State they want receipts to show where their money goes, then why not all child support? You don't get but about half of what Pete was suppose to pay per child when the state pays. (foster care)

Why shouldn't his Ex have to show where the money goes? Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing. If you have to show where the money goes when the state pays you I think you should have to show where the money goes with any child support.

Where is her share of support for the child? Pete's responsibility should go down as the number of people in the household go up. There's the new baby, the first child, the Mom and Pete's son. They may soon need a bigger home, but Pete's share should be going down. I'll bet his kid's sqare footage goes down.

Also you can hang Pete but he is the only one that even showed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What about the other two guys? They seem to be getting a free ride (pardon the pun) here.

Just a thought

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rachelmason

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October 11, 2006, 6:43 pm PDT

more deadbeats shows please

People want to always say what's wrong with these kids these days.....my responce is DEADBEAT DADS! Todays show was outstanding. Scarey to realize im not alone. Worse there are other children out there feeling like mine. More shows like this might make these dads open thier ears and hearts for the children's sake...... Cheaters has a show following Cheaters i would like to see a series on Deadbeat Dads and thier children. Dr. Phil has said in divorce KIDS PAY . I have to agree. Deadbeats need to understand when you don't help KIDS PAY why should'nt they?

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tspang6609

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October 11, 2006, 6:44 pm PDT

Where is the help?

I filed for divorce two years ago. My husband was ordered to pay a piddling amount of $219 a month in child support. That was a joke. He now owes right at $5000 and counting. I have done everything in my power and have still got nothing from him. I really expected more help in getting this money. The state of Oklahoma has placed collecting all child support into the hands of DHS. That is a joke. I am a hard worker and still barely make ends meet. I am continually robbing Peter to pay Paul. My ex spent 30 days in jail and has been sentenced to serve 6-months for noncompliance of child support. Since he was costing the state money to house him they let him out if he promised to pay. Well that was in July and I have still not seen a penny. I work and don't continue to populate where is the justice? I'm confused!

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