Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

Boy you sure don't get it do you!!!!!!!!  As a single mom, working hard to support children that I both me and my husband at the time,  agreed to have,  you are out to lunch,  to think that all mothers spend the childsupport on themselves is so uneducated!!!!!!  Paying support would enable mothers/fathers who are raising the children,  To accually do more for the children,  like pay for braces,  or dentists,  or maybe even be able to spend alittle time at home with  the children,  food,  clothing and so on...................  I lived for some time on very little like 500.00 a month..........so childsupport would have helped keep the children feed.......but it was his way of inflicting  hard ach on me and in doing so the children went without.  I was lucky my parents were able to help me out...not all are so lucky.   I have had to use services,  to get back on my feet,  women shelters,  welfare,  and even food banks,  My children suffered,   Things are getting better,  but he should have to pay,  and really it doesn't matter where the money goes,  If mine ever pays,  your dam straight that I am going to do something nice for myself,, I have given everything to my kids.   Only thing is with me working all the time,  they don't have me much either and there father not only doesn't pay childsupport he also doesn't see them either. 

YOU REALLY NEED TO LOOK ON BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE,  AND NOT LUMP EVERY ONE IN THE SAME BASKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think that Manuel and Heather have what it takes to hang on to this house.

If they did, they would  NOT have been in the situation they were in.

Heather has an anxiety disorder and can't work? People who work have anxiety. NO EXCUSE

Manuel has to stay home to care for Heather? If all husbands stayed home to take of their anxious wives, no one would work!  NO EXCUSE

Manuel couldn't get to work on time because he had too much to do to ready the movement of the motorhome? Get real!  We all have daunting tasks before work and many have hours of commute time. NO EXCUSE

These parents chose to have a large family and there is NO EXCUSE for either of them to not work. 

I see little hope that this family will be any better off a year from now. BUT hopefully, I'm wrong.

We fully realise that your intent wasn't to elicit humour. Your post was so over the top that it made us just howl with laughter. I just wrote a huge post for this. I've deleted it because I  know there is no point. We look at the world differently. I'm sorry you've been so hurt. There are a lot of nasty people out there. They come in every colour every size. Life is just too short for that sort of hostility. You have a great day, and be happy.

Check out the web site wantedposters.com,  It has hundreds of deadbeats,  dad's and mom's.   and yes they are trying to get a series (T.V. show)  ,  and your right most what's wrong with the kids today,  well lets see,  most come from single family homes,  watching that parent work there behind off,  and the other not paying support and not being involved in there life.  So yes deadbeats are most of the problem.

YES! YES!  Dr Phil should address this issue further,  DEADBEATS!!!  its a huge problem!!

This women is more than capiable of getting and maintaining job. Like I said last night... I worked three jobs at once but my son child support was going to his private eduation..there for I made sure he saw where the money went too. He never asked about proof..I wanted him to see all the receipts and such, I have helped one of my clients in getting custody of his daughter last year. This is why I want to finish my Bach degree for Paralega. I have seen alot of women who take advanage of men. I think women need to get a solid job and worry about how they are going to road map their childs education and everything that goes with it. I tell you all you men out there paying child support..make sure you keep paper trail and such. Keep a tight log on everything. There was a time my son dad was having it rough...at that time we both talked and told him he can take the year off of paying so he can get himself on track. He did and he starting paying again. To this day we are friends,,my so is now going on 21. We knew our priority was him for the entire years to come, Our problems were not of our son, therefore we never said anything bad about each other. Since then his father remarried to a really nice lady. Yes folks she is a good person. Yes I have someone now as well. The point is that the courts are not fair to the fathers in the United States. I don't get child support for my 14 year old daughter either..and I don't care about the money..The only thing that is more inportant than money is the quailty time spent with your child. Yes we live in a house and yes she is a straight A student and yes we have family meetings in here once  week.  When my son was little, his dad always called me wanting to come over to see his son sleeping. Our situtation was this, if he wanted to see his son each and every day. It was certainly welcome and that he did. For me as a mother,,it was always a smile on my face to see him see his child sleeping. Thats it...children first. That women on the show is looking for a free ride is all.

I came to this board to discuss the show, and WOW! Did I have reading material??!!!

I wanted to comment on the mom who is crying about not receiving child support. I believe that she should receive child support, but it is also her responsibility to help support the children. Why is she having another child? Our country is in a mess because of people like her. The smartest thing for her and her children, would be for her to give her child up for adoption. (I'm sure I'm going to hear about that comment!)

I am a single mom, too. I was married before I became pregnant, and did things the "right" way. After five years, my husband decided to run off with my unmarried best friend! I did not want a divorce, but he did. He was court ordered to pay support, and did pay when he felt like it. He finally caught up, but only so he could take me to court for custody. His reason for the custody battle? He wanted to leave the state and take his son. He lost the battle, and I kept custody. Of course, he left the state! After paying over $15,000 in court and lawyer fees, I guess he didn't have any money left to pay support. So, he stopped paying.  I have received only one check and that was from the IRS for a tax intercept. He has subsequently found a way around the IRS taking any more money.

The bottom line that I wanted to express is this:  I am NOT letting him ruin my life or my son's. I have worked four part-time jobs at the same time to make ends meet. My son does NOT suffer because I WILL NOT LET HIM!!! No, we do not have a big screen tv or even an X-box like the family did on TV, but my son is loved, has food on the table, and a warm place to sleep. I refuse to rely on someone else to take care of us!

It is not easy! My son has new clothes to wear to school and all of the necessities. Me? I wear clothes that are 4-5 years old. Hey! They still fit and I am resourceful!! If his father ever does pay the back child support, the money is going to go into a college fund account for my son!!!

There seems to be a lot of disagreement  and resentment from divorced parents on how child support is spent.

Dad claims mom is using the child support money on herself and not the kids. I see his point.

Mom claims that dad isn't sending enough, if at all. I see her point.

WHY NOT have a mediator, a third party, paid official or volunteer who could manage the child support affairs of the parents.

This person would monitor the spending of the child support and would be responsible for notifying the court if the father was no longer paying the support.

This person would attend all court hearings and have access to all pertaining information concerning this couple and their children, including current addresses for all.

Just a thought.