Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

my husband left me and started to pay child support, then stoped. It was very hard. I had never worked, because he never wanted me to. He remarried and had 2 more kids. My daugter and I did without alot, but we where never homeless. Now our daughter is 16 and i live in different state, so her dad has to pay up. he pays for most everything now including her car. Men want babies, but when they get to want something else, they think they can leave. It does not work that way. Some men need to grow up and stop thinking they can control us.

Sorry to make a post so long.

What infuriates me is that the majority of the men these days "think" they can STILL control these womens lives after  THEY are the ones that left the home life. Its a CONTROL issue with them and THEY want to know where the money is going? Let me enlighten those certain men/women where the money goes(from a single moms perpective,in some cases single dads as well):

1.  school fees/supplies(pending on the grade in school,Exp: the higher up in grade the more the fees)

2.  doctor office visits(if there is a co-pay)

3. BABYSITTER/ DAYCARE FEES(this is what takes the biggest chunck here)when the single parent works.

4.  gas (to get to and from work and/or doctor visits)

5. medical bills(what some insurances DONT pay pending on their percentage WHICH ALOT OF THE TIME ISNT MUCH, and the unexpected ER visits like child breaking a limb)

6. clothes

7. food (for the child's belly)

8. electric bill(for heat and etc)

9. water bill(child to take a bath)

10. the nessecities like bath soap/shampoo/toilet paper(to keep the child from smelling bad)

11. Rent (so the child can have a roof over their heads)

The list can go on and on.

Some(men/women) dont realize that WE(the ones taking care of thier child/children) have to make so much money last till next payday. Either way, they laid in bed and made these kids as well, and should PAY UP! And stop their whining.Yes, the money does help when your short on your paycheck(from you being sick). The point is that it really isnt any of the other parents business, IF the other parent has custody of the child, where the money is going. So I thought I might of summed it all up for those who want to see WHERE this money is going(mainly the non-custodial parents).

As for my situation: When me and my ex divorced (he left, cheated on me), we sat down at the table and agreed on him paying half of the med bills(of what my insurance DIDNT pay), hald the school fees/clothes/extra curricular activites and the like. The tables were turned,(he wanted to see where all MY money was going, his way of still CONTROLLING my life)My ex hubby was ONLY paying child support and doing his visitation thing, our daughter broke her ankle Jan. this year and would give all kinds of excuses ( Ex:he "didnt have the money", when they go out and eat ALL the time, "We(him and new wife) need a new car" they already had one and was saying that for the past 2 years) NOT to pay his half, after I had paid my half. It came down to where I PAID HIS HALF (insurance is in my name) just so I wouldnt loose the things I have worked hard for. Its been since Nov. since I have taken him to court, and he was court ordered to make payments every 2 weeks(very small payments). Since he gets to claim her on taxes this  2006 year(we alternate every year who claims her), the judge also ordered him to pay the balance IN FULL when he got his taxes this coming tax year(2006). His CONTROL issue was lost that day in court, and the tables were turned.

To me if its documented on paper and in the courts, they should follow through with their agreements (no matter their situation in their new home lives for the non-custodial parents). To the parents that are doing EVERYTHING in their power/will, just do the best you can and things will work out for you. Keep your chin up.

I completely agree with you, especially when the mother works and she is getting NO support what so ever. IT ISNT any of the father's bussiness  money wise to know where it is going i wrote a responce to that (hoping the staff lets it go up) that there is ALOT more to it then that, the fathers/mothers who ARE NOT paying need to concider this:

doctor bills, unexpected dr bills, rent, food, school clothes/fees, BABYSITTING(which takes a HUGE chunk), etc etc.

As for the fathers/mothers of uncustodial children, these people need to GROW UP AND QUIT WHINING! And stop with the "I think im going to have CONTROL over you" bit, you "think" they are controling the other in which they lost that control when they left the home life they HAD. I look at it this way they are "HAD BEENS". They had been a part of the home life they still "wish" they had. They have issues and need more couceling then what we think they do to get over the CONTROL issues.

 I am anxious to see how Dr. Phil repsonds to the father.   My daughter is 13 years old and her father owes over $18, 000.00 in child support.   He continues to run, there is a warrant out for his arrest.    

I have recently become unemployed  due to health reasons and now have no income.  My family is not  even in my life, due to there choice and my daughter and I are looking at being homeless

as of January 1,2007.   I am very, very, very scared.  I have cried out and don't know where to turn.

As far as the child's father, I cannot make him be responsible and for the last 13 years have done my best to  raise  this beautiful girl.  Please someone out there, can you help.