Topic : 12/21 One Paycheck Away

Phil:  I can't believe that you talked to that man the way you did about paying $900 a month to their 1 child.  The man was paying child support all this time and yet when he was not able to pay, the woman starts crying.  She has 1 other child by another man who also does not pay child support and yet she she is pregnant again by yet another man! At least he married her and tried to make it work.  Too bad she doesn't know what she's doing!   to stand there on stage and say that it is not any of his business where the money goes....it is.. She's living very well looking at the mother's house , I do not believe that grandma would send them out in the cold. Would you or Robin do that?  I don't think so!!!  The man has tried to do everything he could until circumstances becane unbearable.Why should he have to change locations to be involved in the childs life, but yet "Mommy" doesn't.? I am a woman wth 8 children myself but yet the men are not always wrong and better look at things 2x over.

i have 4 children 1 buy a person who i had a one night stand with when i was in college. I had a good carrer starting and all the oprotunity in the world when i found out she was with child. so i decided to move back to the small rural upstate area she is from to help support (and be with) my child. in doing so i lost all that i had worked for in my education and lifestyle.

when i got back to new york i was sad to learn that she had decided to move away from me and was taking my child with her. 

I had to go to court later becauce she filled for financial assistance with her town and would not be eligable without trying to get child support. the court said i was the father and i have to pay support. There was no Question as to if i wanted to raise my daughter, or any other options as to carring for her it is a 1,2,3 prosses your the father you pay 33% of your achievable(amount the court thinks you can make based on your education and past income which ever looks better) income. Also no consideration was given to my parental rights as far as what the value of my lost time with my child was worth to me. this   Christmas i will be unable to get things for my family because the court also does one other thing most people dont konw. they Garnish your wage. thats o.k. with me but the problem with it is when you loose a job or fall behind on your bills as i am now i cant even afford to work now because the economy in my area will not allow me to take anything home to my family. EX. i work 40 hours a week and bring home $350-taxes and deductions =around 280 then they take 70 a week out for support leaving me 210 a week pay. it costs me $60 a week to drive to work this leaves me $150 and i havent even paid my rent or taken care of the 3 children and wife i live with. my bills are around 1000 a month and is about average for this area.

My next door neighbor has 3 kids is on public assistance and gets her rent, food and utilities paid for and is about to get 3 different checks for child support from 3 different men. i think it is wrong.

so doctor phill should i tell my daughter to do that to so she can make a high quality living. its becoming the new fasion in my area.

as far as im concerned the only thing you should call a person who gets mony for sex is a prostitute so what should i call a woman who takes it to the next step, a victom?

These cries for help are examples of our sad society.  "My dream would be to find a sponsor..."  SPONSOR????  This society/generation seems to constantly whine and look for handouts. Without a doubt they have sad situations and I don't mean to belittle their hard times.  We've lost touch with the teachings of our elders. Saving for a rainy day, preparing for our future, and money management doesn't seem to be of any importance anymore; instead, everyone seems to be looking for someone else to carry the burden. We are running out of elses!  I've seen time and time again how helping someone out of a hard time doesn't help them in the long run because it's usually their own inadequacies in management that got them there in the first place. Therefore, yet another hard time is in their near future.  For the rare few that work really hard (not their perception of their hard work), I cheer helping them.

I dread the showing of how the homeless are treated on the street. I fear the one sidedness. I can say from first hand experience that there is help for the truly homeless. The vast majority have put themselves there and are looking for handouts. Many people are burned out of trying to help others just to see them in the same spot a little further down the road. There are TWO sides to this.

If it's not money, it's a relationship that has gone awry.  We don't teach how to deal with either anymore, or we're teaching the wrong lessons.

Dr. Phil,

How can you say that it is not the business of the father as to what happens to HIS money when it is sent to care for his children?  I believe that they should have the right to know what happens to that money.   Child support laws need to be reorganized to work just the same as survivors benefits through social security.  I have to report every year what the total of my daughters social security was used for.  It is money that her father paid in before he died.  I would contend that it is the same as child support.  MEN DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO KNOW!  End of story.