Topic : Living Together

Some things I recognized from your entry is that you love him, you will give everything you can into the relationship.....he gives you no electricity, no financial support, and say you get married--he will give you bad credit. He is not giving his all. Why should he? You do it all. You take care of him. He can pick and choose his jobs........ones HE likes. Say you have a family in the future, a baby, one that needs HEAT....oh...too bad....daddy didn't pay the electricity on time....... 

What my point is that it is hard to see clear when you love someone. God knows I didn't see clear in a past relationship for quite a long time. I am sure he has wonderful qualities. You are young. You will find someone who meets your criteria.  Men do not change. As much as women try and try to change men, they do not change. Stand up for yourself. Have enough respect to say to yourself that you deserve better. Yes, it is enough to break up over. It will trickle down through your whole life the fact that he is so irresponsible and lead to bigger issues.  

You will find someone who is truly wonderful, that wants to be your PARTNER, share responsibility with you. Two people that come together should be a team. Good luck with your situation. 

   I BEEN DATING THIS GUY FOR TWO YEARS ...AND IT BEEN REALLY HARD BEING WITH HIM BUT I LOVE HIM AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ...WE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR 2YR AND SOMETIME HE ACT  LIIKE HE DONT WHAT TO BE TOGETHER ...I TELL HIM I LOVE HIM AND HE DONT TELL ME I HAVE BEEN THERE FOR HIM SO MUCH AND HE ACT LIKE A ASS TO ME AT TIME I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....I TELL HIM SOME DAY I WANT TO GET MARRIED BUT HE BEEN MARRIED AND HE WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN .. I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD STAY WITH HIM OR MOVE ON .. DONT GET ME WRONG I DO LOVE HIM....PLEASE TELL ME WHAT WOULD YOU DO ??????????????? 

Hi  

I am hearing from your guys that most of women complain about what a man doesn't do this or that. Or even a guy has a money problem. I am a woman, and I would like to know more about this type of scenario.  

I have a guy friend who is currently living with his GF, (Don't know why he started to live with her though). He has a huge house and she has been living there with him and his brother for 2 years or more. He never made a promise of getting maried (figures?). Now, he really likes to go in separate ways, but she doesn't understand why and she will not move out. He apparently told her that their relationship will not workout, mainly because of a lack of communication and no interest in each other. Everytime he brings up, she just cries and no discussion would be made. Now a question to all....as a woman what do you think? Why she doesn't move out and show her self-respect? Oh, by the way, she even found out that my friend was seeing another woman in a past. Yeah, what he did was wrong, but if I were in the same situation, I would do the same.  Breaking up is easy when two people have a mutual understanding, but if one's goal is extremely different from the other, there is no point cross to make a legitimate breakups.  

One more thing, we as a woman tends to put a very importance in "living together," it is like a ticket to "getting married." However, a man may not think as we think. To them, this is just a testing water stage, and they are ready to get out without feeling sorry.  

Jay and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. Our relationship started out wonderful and not so wonderful at the same time. I was married and had had just recently seperated from my husband and i have to kids. He was in the same situation with 2 kids as well. I was so happy to finally get out of my marriage(it was a terrible one) and his was the same. When we met my husband was giving me a very hard time calling me all the time and following me. But Jason stuck with me. He was always there when I needed him and even the threats he was getting from my ex and his brother didn't bother him or scare him away. We moved in together about 7 months ago. And now he has changed. At first he was so great, telling me several times a day he loved me and telling me why he loved me. He would shower me with hugs, send me flowers at work, call me just to tell me he missed me. I had all the attention I could have ever wanted and although I didn't say it, I loved it. I will say in his defense, I have severe trust issues. Jay has had a lot of relationships. I was married to my husband for 7 years and we dated 7 years before we married. So I felt unexperienced with Jay. He didn't seem to care about that though. He told me he loved me and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, that he wanted to grow old with me. But still I don/t trust him. This is me, not him. But we moved in together and I continued to try to open up to him and show him my feelings like he has always done with me. But now he is different. He is rarely home. He goes out almost every night. As far as I know it is just with his friends. This past weekend is what prompted me to write this today. I work 5 days a week. This includes every weekend. I took this weekend off to spend with him. It had been planned for over a month. On Sat we were going to have dinner together and then go to a movie. Just the two of us. Well he got called into work and he went. I was very upset. Then he went to work on Sunday as well. And when he got home from work on Sunday he decided to go out with his best friend(they drove his friends girlfriend back to school). I was so upset. I didn't get to spend any time with him at all and I had to fight at work to get that weekend off. FOR NOTHING!! But the hardest part is that he doesn't get it. I have told him right to his face that I want to spend time with him, that I miss him and the time we used to spend together and I want it back. I don't know how else to say it. But he doesn't seem to care. He says he loves me and doesnt want to be with anyone else and he doesnt want to break up but he still keeps going out and doing his thing while I am home alone with my kids day after day and night after night wondering what is going on. I love him so much and I just want my man back, the one I fell in love with, the one who used to sit and tell me all his feelings. Now I can't get him to sit and have a conversation with me. Please Please I need some advice!