Topic : Living Together

My boyfriend and I have only been living together for 3 months but I'm already getting frustrated and a little discouraged about the lack of help I get from him around the house.  I'm 31 and he's 35.  I'm a middle school English teacher so I leave for work at 7AM and I get home between 4-5PM (depending if I'm tutoring or not.)  He's a director of a karate school, so he doesn't have to leave until 12PM and he doesn't get home until 945PM.  Point being...we work the same amount of hours...just different schedules.  When I come home, I either go to the gym for an hour or clean the condo for an hour and then it's time to make dinner.  Generally, I don't even sit down until 7PM, and then I watch tv until 9PM and then I go to bed around 10PM.  When he gets home, he eats dinner and then either watches tv until 130AM or he plays games on the computer.  I have no idea what his morning schedule is, but I know he doesn't do anyhting to help out around the house.

We tend to get into a lot of "disagreements" about what gets done by whom aorund here.  The only time he ever does anything around here is when the trash needs to be taken out.  And that's only beacuse I ask him to.  Every night after dinner I have to prepare my food for the next day, and I also make him a sandwich to take to work because HE has asked me to....but then he'll forget to take it and leave it in the fridge.  He says he forgets.  He forgets to do a lot of things.  I asked him to unload the dishwasher.  He forgot.  I'll ask him to clean the toilets. He forgot.  Now, I know he's busy...but who isn't?!?!  I don't forget to do things that need to be done so I have a hard time understanding how he seems to be so forgetful!  He says he has a lot going on in his mind about work, but don't we all? This is almost a daily argument and I don't want it to continue to be this way.  Afterall, I don't even see him until right before I go to bed!  I don't want to be fighting all the time because I feel like he doesn't contribute to our home.  Any time I mention to him something that he forgot to do he gets mad at me, but it's starting to hurt my feelings.  I'm looking for any advice on what I can do to make this better.

My boyfriend and I have only been living together for 3 months but I'm already getting frustrated and a little discouraged about the lack of help I get from him around the house.  I'm 31 and he's 35.  I'm a middle school English teacher so I leave for work at 7AM and I get home between 4-5PM (depending if I'm tutoring or not.)  He's a director of a karate school, so he doesn't have to leave until 12PM and he doesn't get home until 945PM.  Point being...we work the same amount of hours...just different schedules.  When I come home, I either go to the gym for an hour or clean the condo for an hour and then it's time to make dinner.  Generally, I don't even sit down until 7PM, and then I watch tv until 9PM and then I go to bed around 10PM.  When he gets home, he eats dinner and then either watches tv until 130AM or he plays games on the computer.  I have no idea what his morning schedule is, but I know he doesn't do anyhting to help out around the house.

We tend to get into a lot of "disagreements" about what gets done by whom aorund here.  The only time he ever does anything around here is when the trash needs to be taken out.  And that's only beacuse I ask him to.  Every night after dinner I have to prepare my food for the next day, and I also make him a sandwich to take to work because HE has asked me to....but then he'll forget to take it and leave it in the fridge.  He says he forgets.  He forgets to do a lot of things.  I asked him to unload the dishwasher.  He forgot.  I'll ask him to clean the toilets. He forgot.  Now, I know he's busy...but who isn't?!?!  I don't forget to do things that need to be done so I have a hard time understanding how he seems to be so forgetful!  He says he has a lot going on in his mind about work, but don't we all? This is almost a daily argument and I don't want it to continue to be this way.  Afterall, I don't even see him until right before I go to bed!  I don't want to be fighting all the time because I feel like he doesn't contribute to our home.  Any time I mention to him something that he forgot to do he gets mad at me, but it's starting to hurt my feelings.  I'm looking for any advice on what I can do to make this better.

First i must say that we are about the same age. Im 22 yrs old and my boy friend is 22 his a month older than me. We have only been together for 1 year and 7 months. Have been living together for 5 months. I went through that. I went as far as reading his emails and thats how i found out. I then started to check the internet history on the computer to see what sites he would visit while i was at work. Well i found a few adult profile sites. I have to say i was devestated i felt disgusted. As if i had no idea who the man sleeping next to me at night was. I fought with him for a long time and did not trust him since he lied about it. I even found a profile of his with a picture of his penis as his profile picture. DEVASTATION!!!!!!! Well i wish i could say thats where it ends. He also was chatting with a girl from a whole different state on messenger. That he never denied. He would complain about me to her.

Ok now that i have told you that much. I will begin to tell you. TALK TO HIM!!!! Dont argue. Its not necessarily true that his bored. with you.  But sweetie men will be men. I came to find out that he wanted to be sexually curious with me but was scared to bring that up. SO We started to try new things in bed. Videos, costumes. so on and so forth. That might be what is going on. I must say that he no longer logs on to those sites i know cause its my computer and i have checked. We have became even closer to one another and communication between us has improved greatly. The main thing is to talk to him. Bring up some of the ideas i have. MAybe he is interested in them. Do not argue. That will get you no where.

I know that you feel cheated on but he has not physically seen or tocuhed any of this girls.He's in bed with you every night. Do somethig about it.  Take your relationship back in control. If not its not meant to be and you must leave. Feeling second to a girl from the net is not right nor healthy for you.