Topic : Living Together

Maybe he's just tired. Does he work alot? My bf was like that for a while, especially because his job required him to be on his feet all day and sometimes he'd work over 40 hrs a week, so he'd sleep alot. If it continues for a long time, then maybe he should go to a doctor as it could be something medical.

I can also relate... I feel it's only a matter of time before he takes it to the next level and physically cheats. Let your guy know how you feel and how him looking at those sites makes him feel. Ask him why he feels the need to search or look at single's websites? If he keeps doing it then you I agree and you should cut him loose.

okay, here's the gist of it all:  i've been dating my b/f for 10 months, and we've been living together for 5 months.  We moved into together because I agreed to move with him to SC in Dec. 2006, and he wanted to live together in NJ before making that move.  Come Dec. 2006, I am not ready for that move, so it's been reschedule for Feb. 2006.  Okay, so currently, I have not money for this endeavor.  He says that he will support me, but he does not make much more money than I do and I don't like to be dependent on anyone.  Okay reason for move:  my b/f is in a band and he thinks that their kind of music will be big in SC, so basically I am moving to support his dream.  I love him to death, but lately our relationship has been suffering because I keep putting off moving.  I told him to go without me, but he does not want to because he believes that long distance relationship dont work because people grow apart.  I am 25y/o and he is 24y/o.  So, I dont knwo what to do and I need some serious advice, and SOON. We are going there at the end of Dec. to check out the place.  I feel that he should go without me and do his thing, and we can make the relationship work.  Also, he was married before (high school sweethearts), and he was divorced at the age of 21, and I believe that what gets him all wishy washy.  Plus, I can't honestly say that we will remain together.  BUT, I still feel that he should not give his dream up for me, even if that means separating.  He says he wants to marry me and blah blah blah, but if we are not on the same page, I dont see how this is gonna work.  He is presently begging me to go, and I am being off/on with my decision, which causes further problems in our relationship.  HELP! ADVICE! PLEASE!!!

"He had a rap situation when he was kid wich he told me it reflect his sex life now..."

he needs cousneling, and if he refuses, he is refusing to compromise for the sake of your relationship. I def. could not be in a relationship with sex for 1x a month!!!!!  If he is not willing to get help, then you have to accept the fact that sex 1x a month is going to be your life, which I def. could not accept OR you need to end the relationship before it progresses any further!! good luck

Bit of a different note for you all to read. I need input from people not involved in my offline life to see if I can get an honest opinion about me and if I am too hard on my boyfriend (He is a pushover and very sweet, won't say a bad word and will bend over backwards and donate his kidney all in one swift move if he thought it would help someone). I love him with all my heart, he is fantastic and every part of our relationship is thousands of times better than I ever thought it could be.

 But.... (yeah that had to be coming, it's dr.phil's boards of course) When we decided to move in with eachother I made it clear to him that I wouldn't be comfortable moving to his place which him and his ex-wife had lived in, it is all her decorating (she has exact opposite tastes from me, she does have fabulous skills decorating but ... not for me). He could understand that, she still very much dominated his life at that point and it took a while before he could completely shut her out of our lives. Bit of a long story there; they were highschool couple, married joined army, moved around, 15 years later she admitted she was gay and moved out. He started dating me shortly later (he did date another woman before me for a few months so I haven't the fears of rebound)

Anyways, that is the backscene of it. We agreed it would be best to find a new place since he wasn't fond of my apartment (downtown in the city, loud and fast paced) I had no qualms giving it up, it was only an apartment and not my dream home or any real sedimental value to it. (Well there was some sedmental value to it, it was MINE, my own little success achieved in the years after my godawful divorce but  my BF is more important to me than my apt) We started looking at other places then I noticed that it was only me looking at other places, so I thought perhaps we were moving to fast and he didn't want to move in together. I brought this up with him and said it was fine with me, I'd rather have him happy than feeling cornered in our relationship and we didn't have to live together. That wasn't why he stopped looking though, he didn't want to move but still wanted me to move in with him. I evaluated and evaluated over and over again my opinions on moving into his place which had a cold dispassionate unwelcoming atmosphere and all his ex-wives left over belongings. Came to the conclusion we would redecorate, clear thru her old crap and he would let me have my way with the place. So I moved in with him.

6 months later nothing here has been changed, I still don't feel like it is my home (aye I know, I am a territorial b**ch) and I am afraid to try to redecorate because we had a bit of a struggle clearing out some of her old crap (funny story, lettuce spinner that I would never use and he admits has never used, he clung to that damn thing... much later he clued in that it was a stupid thing and threw it out. But that stupid little fight over a stinkin lettuce spinner has made me terrified to try to change anything more noticable around here. He knows I am miserable with this arrangment, I still think we should have moved into neutral territory so we could both be comfortable and have asked him if we could move when the lease expires here. I love him to bits but this place... oh grrrr :( It's not just because it's all his ex's decorating etc, it's because the colortones she decorated in are all in slab to dark grey.... nice miserable atmosphere (walls, furniture art so on so forth, my stuff is all dark warm rich colors)

yada yada sounds like I should be posting on a interior fashions board instead haha. I just don't know what to do. I hate it here with a passion and he has his heels dug in, when the lease expires if he doesn't come with me to a new place I'll be going alone without him. A few people at work have said I was being petty and I have come to ask complete strangers if they are right, or am I not being unreasonable in my frustrations and fears or redecorating knowing he will be upset despite giving me permission to redo everything. To me it seems it was a statement made simply to get me to move here and now that I am here I am dreading doing it because of his reactions to us getting rid of stuff we wouldn't ever use. I can understand the need for security... but I am getting no security at all here, 6 months and it still doesnt feel like my home :(

Did a quick read over but may have missed some of the replies to you so my apologies if this was already pointed out. It may be he has an actual fatigue problem. Ask him to speak to his doctor or do some research and see what he lines up with. It sounds to me like chronic fatigue at it's worst. I suffered from it (still do but my doc's final frustrated solution was sleeping pills so I actually get an awesome sleep at night and no longer drift off at random intervels or just feel like I haven't slept). If it is an actual sleep problem (which I'll place a bet on) than they will be able to figure it out and fix it.

On the other hand my boyfriend (and my ex-husband, kids, family and anyone who has prolonged contact with me prior to my finding a solution with my doc) can tell you some pretty funny stories about my falling alseep at the worst possible times. Everyone thought the same wih me, that I was just so relaxed with myself and the people around me that I lost my boundries on just how much to relax in public or elsewhere. My vote is drag your love to the doctor ;)