Topic : Living Together

Wondering if my feelings towards my boyfriend doing extra fix it things or extra errands for his son's mom is out of line.  Personally I don't think so. 

I've been dating this man for 6months.  He has a 7 year old son with a previous relationship. They were not married and they ended the relationship when their son was 1.  We all live in the same small town. Yet of course he has always been seeing his son since their relationship ended.  He told me that they have continued to have sex whenever she wanted to about 3 times a year or so.  Up until last August when we started going out.  He always did extra things for her because of his son like fix her car when needed, put up xmas lights, install new light fixtures in the house, pick up cat litter and drop it off.  He just recently got his truck back and now she is asking him to pick their son up from school about 2x a week and drop him off at home.  I can accept that, it's the extra things that she feels she has the right to keep asking him to do. She calls whenever she

wants him to do something for her.   When he goes to have time with his son, my boyfriend visits and stays at their home.  We only been dating 6 months so I don't want to say well you can bring him over to my house when it's your time to be with your son.  I want to be sure our relationship is strong before I would offer that.  ( My boyfriends place right now is not suitable to bring his son over for visiting, small trailer, renovations going on).  So my question to anyone who will read this,  Do I have a right to ask my boyfriend to limit the extra fix it or pick it up things that his ex girlfriend asks him to do.     I feel that if it is a errand to help out his son, like picking him up from school that of course is fine.   But I feel like I am in two relationships to a point.  I would like to ask him to stop doing these things for her because he is no longer with her and has not been for 6 years, but has been helping out for that long.  Now he is in a new relationship and if he should be focusing on our relationship to start building a good foundation.

P.s  This woman still thinks that their relationship just ended last year, yet they've lived in seperate houses and he has been with other woman in those 6years.  So there is no her and him.  She seems a little strange,and demanding.

Advice needed desperately.

Tammy

I'm 20 years old and I still live with my parents while I go to school. My boyfriend has been living with us as well for more than a year. Last November, we almost moved out, and would have if the landlord hadn't pulled something illegal.

Anyway, I'm worried about making rent because, though I love my boyfriend more than anything, he isn't very careful with his money. Before the schedualed move-in date in November, I had to convince him not to buy a new car, because he would have been making about $650 a month, and owing about $700. I was also going to have to front his half of the rent for the first month.

I really want to get out of my parents house, and I really want to have our own place, but I'm worried about whether he'll be able to afford it.

I'd be worried as well if I were you. 

He's obviously not responsible enough at this point to be sharing an apartment with you right now.  Moving out together I'm sure sounds great but realistically you guys can not afford it right now.  Before taking that step both of you should have good steady employment with money in the bank for the unexpected.    Not all people are naturally good with money, some need to be taught.  Living paycheck to paycheck is no way to live, you both should have at least a minumum of 6 months worth of "expenses" in the bank before you sign any lease as a "slush fund" for those incidentals that will pop up.  That way in case either one of you lose your job you can use that money to pay your bills and you don't have to borrow from one another to cover expenses.

In this day and age your credit report must stay completely clean, no late payments or missed payments for rent, credit cards and loans etc.  .  Until both of you have a few thousand dollars in the bank for savings don't even consider moving out.

I think you're right. I recieved some social security money relating to something that happened to my mom a few years ago (and they just now told us about it...but that's our government...XD) and I have about $2000 in the bank now. Last night he asked me if I could front him $250 for a payment on a charger!

He has 2 jobs, he makes money, and both jobs are ones that yield tips. He should have at least $250.

Sometimes I wonder where the money goes, and when I ask him about it, he tells me not to worry and that he'll be okay.

He almost did get a new car a few months ago, but the loan was withdrawn by the bank and he got his downpayment of $600 back to his credit. He spent $400 of it on a PS3.

I love him very much and I have no intention of leaving him at all, I'm just very concerned about future financial situations.

I don't want to give him the money, because I have a feeling it would be counter-productive in this situation, but it's a car that he can fix up and his father wants to turn that into a father/son project. Both of them are really excited about it, and he may not be able to get the car if I don't give him the money. I'd feel guilty, like I was taking that opportunity away from he and his father, but I don't think it would be the best idea to give in to him.