Topic : Love Being Single

Exactly, and that's the same in all aspects of life. If you don't work for what you want, you'll probably never get it.

You work as an office manager, I help to manage my Dad's small business.  How would you describe your mangement style?  If I'm not being too nosey! LOL!

Hehe! I don't mind. I have an easy job, to be honest. Not much to manage, hehe! I'm just about my own boss, and that's good, only the CEO above me, and he's way too busy to be on my tail. Besides, there are only great co-workers. I do what needs to be done, but don't really know if I can describe my style at all. I'm very easy-going.

I'm easy-going but I am creative as the day is long!  So I'm always coming up with fliers and promos.  I am my own boss.  The other employees are techs so they're like "whatever you say"

 

I am 35.  I am SINGLE for years, and I am loving it.

 

I also look at least 10 years younger, and I have 1 child - 14 year old teen. I look better now than 10 years ago. I guess that is because I did not have marital stress and drama, nobody abused me in a marriage, nobody misstreated me, hurt me persistently. I also live far from the family ( they are overseas ) so I live the life I dreamed about, there is nobody to tell me how should I run it, and people I am surrounded with - accept me for who I am.  I earned all this by being very analytical and caring of myself and others, and I always strive to achieve my highest level. I believe weather single or married, you can be happy, because for married people other person makes their life better, so they are loving it, for me - as I am single, I myself am happy - by default.

 

Even if I woud be "married" I would want my husband to have his journey and I would have mine.  I would assist him in his own Journey and he would assist me in Mine. I would not desire for union in which a person possess me and not allow me to become the person I was born to be, and that is often the hardest part, because for such union both man and woman must be highly evolved. Our life is like a "movie", in which we have main characters who stay, and those who come and go, however each of us has own TITLE, that summarize - what is your life journey about? Everyone has own movie, even the people who are married, but not every couple is able to assist each other to the highest levels.

 

People often when they see me alone, don't even think of me as being more than 28. When I mention that I have a child, they often think - I am talking about the infant, or baby of 6 months. They say - "but you don't look like a Mom!"

 

So How Mom is supposed to look? In this sense, I can say with certainty that I age VERY slowly looking from outside. I even searched on Internet to find a topic about "people who don't age fast" to see what is it, except my genes that makes me look soooooooo younger and youthful. It must be my atitude and the way I treat myself.

 

However, mentally I am very wise and mature as I had many experiences throughout the life that made me learn many lessons, thus I am often told that I am "complete person". In my opinion, my Single life is what makes me - TRULY HAPPY. I live my life the way I want, thus it radiates inside and outside, my body, mind and soul responds to true authentic me, and I am happy and healthy!

 

I hesitate to change it because I like it just the way it is.

Some people say, I chose to be single because of my child, that it was hard for me to bring another person into child's life so the child is reason, not really me!

 

I disagree.

 

As early as I can remember, I always valued and wanted independent life. I refused to fulfill expectations of others, and to be what in their eyes, I should be, and despite the rejections from many, I am living the authentic me, thus I am happy. I also take responsibility for my life choices and whatever I did was - Me I don't blame my parents, my ex's, my childhood, or anything. I focus on positives and create as many good experiences as I can so that pluses overpower minuses, especially for people I love and care for. I accept my tragedies and turned them around as opportunities, I learned sooooooo much just by living the life - as single person!

 

I also believe that I chose this single life for a reason.

It's not that I found myself in it, it's simply that I deliberatelly made an effort to have the life I have. There were times when I was pressured to be "married" by society, norms, family, or simply the realities of life! Think about it! Single person must work harder and alone to accomplish all in life as there is no other person to push you up, or help you along the way. However, the pleasure of success after I make it - is all mine.

 

I simply could not get married just for the sake of status, or convininece, or because this would benefit me in some way. That would be against my authentic self as Life I am living is the best life for me. My child is my world as well. I am happy that there were only 2 of us. My child learned and realized that life in a single home with me is as great and fruitfull as life with bunch of siblings and a husband on the side. It's just different kind of life. It's like - what's better vanilla or chocolade. In healthy family - both lie styles are great and have pluses and minuses. It all depends on your personal choice, and what do you as a person want and desire for! We had disscusions many times what would it feel to change this and "get married" and my child loves the way it is, and this life style brings the best out of us. We both accomlished so much, and are still striving for the best, as this environment is great for our personal growth, so we are loving it.

 

I can give you now million reasons why I did not marry, time, schedules, this or that, but the REAL TRUTH IS, I did not want to marry.I really really love the life I have thus all excuses would be just phony reasons. Now I am not saying that will never happen, all possibilities already exists! I am saying that I believe I made right choice, and I am loving it!!!

 

My choice may be not right choice for someone else in similar situation, but for me it is. I guess if you do what you really really want, and you are true to yourself that is what makes your life journey the interesting one. Just make sure you don't rush in anything, and once you decide to enter such waters, make sure before you do it that this is what you really really want. :)

I think that you gave really sound advice.

I'm reminded of a friend who has separated from her husband about two years ago. She's a very dynamic person, fun to be with, very energetic and has a magnetic quality to her, very unusual person, hugely successful and popular. His control over her don't seem to end and he tries whatever he can to keep the "friendship" going but by manipulative means rather than nice ones. She doesn't bash him to anyone but gradually I've come to see what a difficult person this man is, and in all honesty, he is a complete ass.

In spite of this, she wants another relationship... I thought she must be kidding me. I asked her to look at all her past relationships. The men have been difficult, or afraid to love. Maybe she is attracted to only this kind of man or better men are so far apart it takes all luck in the world to find one. Now how can anyone miss that? I just don't get it! If relationships are not harmonious and your memory of them are painful it is simply odd for a person to long for a new one (=long for pain). It's not normal.

 

The more I hear and see of couples and their lives, the more grateful I am of being single! I feel very previleged. I have noticed I do want more friends around me than before, as some form of replacement of a relationship. Doesn't mean things will always have to be that way. I have seen some extremely compatible couples too, but those are so rare. I just have no energy to go through doubting someone's sincerity, discover disappointing and sick perversions, end up with a woman-hater, a cheat, or whatever. I'm gonna get slack for this one, but whenever I watch relationships as a neutral outsider, in most cases I see that the man is the one failing the most and is not the half-partner he should be; often he is the cause of most of the problems. Seeing this, it has made me lose interest in men in general when I in the past would always be around men and love their company, and they would love mine. I see them in a different light and I do see that when I was younger they really did prowl on my naivity, which I find appalling and a part of an insincere psyche. I do love my male friends though, but I wouldn't want to live with them and I don't necessarily agree with their opinions on their relationships.

 

We need behavioural schools for men in this country. I feel sorry for them; they are lost, there's no one to guide them and some truly seem devoid of reasoning to see themselves from the eyes of an outsider. Too many of our men are awful spouses. The lack of proper male support in a relationship turn us women into something we don't want to be! Clearly we miss real, male energy; the kind that women respond positive to. So many men suffer from hatred of women. They don't express it, but their actions tell what they feel. I find it easier to find men from other cultures with more humane qualities, and see that their relationships are more stable and longer lasting which speaks volumes.

 

Thank god I'm singel! I used to love the company of men, now I am more cautious.

 

When I was in my 20's I never once felt lonely being single. I was completely content with it. Nowadays even if I prefer being single and am really happy with it and feel lucky, if I don't have friends around I can at times feel like I carry the burden of the world all on my own. But what says a man will change that??? I mean, look what kind of men so many women put up with! They (women) are basically the whole foundation and the sole carrier of the relationship while the man more often than not, is like an immature child who always hang onto being entertained and served by the female and give very little back as a contributor. How utterly boring and unsatisfying! But yes, if there is a good man, it will be a boon for any woman. I think men have an energy that can complement the female energy in an extremely positive way - or be destructive if its used the way many men seem to utilize theirs. The same with female energy; men need it. They need it bad. But they seem lost on how to get the best energy out of women, which comes forth in a stable, harmoizing relationship.

 

When we get older, our own age-group is busy with raising kids or spending time arguing over their divorce and struggling to survive, or those rare and few who have a fairly good relationship - spend time with their spouse.

In our 40's its not the same to make friends in quick succession as you do in your 20's.

 

I find that a large circle of friends can really replace any need for companionship by a spouse. But then, of course, its the physical aspect. But this too, die out so much for married people one should not base too much value to it alone.  

 

I have gotten out of an unhappy relationship that lasted for 9.5 months and have been single for the majority of my life. Yeah, sometimes I do feel lonely and there are times where I'm glad I'm not in horrible situations like some of my friends are in-hearing them complain to me and telling me how such an ass they were with them or how they are not willing to put effort into the relationship while I'm just enjoying the single life and not having to put up with some man who is just going to live off of me or they don't know how to be a good boyfriend like my recent ex. So, I feel very good about being single. As of now, I enjoy spending time with friends, family, and dating here and there. Right now, I am talking to a friend of a friend who I met back in 2001 and we e-mail, call each other about everyday and spend time together but I'm just looking at it as having fun and enjoying each other's company. If a relationship comes out of it that's great if not oh well I just enjoy talking to him and being around him.