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Topic : Love Being Single

Number of Replies: 393
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:07:56 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you single and loving it? Share your story with other happy singles!

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November 22, 2005, 12:10 pm CST

You are alright

Quote From: diane02

I am so glad I found this message board because it is something that I have been dealing with.  I am single and have never been married, nor do I have any kids.  I have been in relationships but always come out wishing I had never gotten into them.  I guess I am too independent.  I just don't feel that I am a "needy" person.  My 2 best friends can't be alone and are always frustrated because they can't find or keep a man around.  They are constantly stressed out or fighting with their boyfrriends.  I always sacasticlaly tell them "Gee you're having such a good time, maybe I need a boyfriend too".  They are so desperate sometimes its very sad to watch them.   While they are so busy trying to find somebody I feel that they are missing out on so many other things in life.  But I suppose they think I am missing out on something too.  I just don't want to spend all my time going from bar to bar  looking for somebody.  I don't think you're going to find what you want there either.  And I don't want to go on-line either.  That scares me.  One of my friends has met some guys on there.  She says they're nice, but I don't have a good feeling about doing anything like that.   

  

I guess I just want someone to tell me if I am the one whose missing out or what? 

I don't think you are missing out...if you cannot be comfortable by yourself and with yourself...you will never be good with someone else...yes, everyone thinks you need a man beside you...and of course the right man for you...not just any man. You have to be careful no matter if you met at church, online, through friends, because there are some con-artists out there looking for a woman to prey upon...BUT...they are also lots of good men...they are just hard to find sometimes...I haven't given up..and I am age 53..been married and divorced twice...found the love of my life...had the best two years ever in my adult life before cancer took him three years ago. I haven't found anyone in this time yet that interests me or I interest them..but I just figure maybe this is time for me to do things and really figure out a lot of things. Never had time when raising my kids and trying to make it work with my ex's..I have learned so many things about myself and what strengths I do have and what I WANT in life and in a relationship...so do not give up!!!!!
 
December 1, 2005, 11:03 pm CST

21 and in no hurry to tie a ball and chain to myself

I really fail to fathom why getting together with the first person to cross your path has suddenly become the measue of success with people in our society these days.  I am a happy, healthy, heterosexual and I like to think "normal" 21 year old male but with one problem (personally I do not see them as problems but apparently I am a loser because of them).  I have never gone on a date in my life, let alone kissed a girl, had sex with a girl or even so much as held her hand.  And apparently this makes me a loser, some people have even thought I was gay!   Well I will not bore you with all the details but I was quite shy in High School and frankly none of the girls took my fancy anyway, and the last 3 years have been sheer hell for me and my family where basically I have had to switch my priorities to them and dating and socialising have taken a back seat, I have always kind of been a loner as well but thats more due to my single mindedness and my happiness to be alone and pursue my own intrests rather than being an anti-social phobe.  And yes I will admit it does get me down from time to time and I do get jealous on occasion when my friends get together and tell me about the stuff they do with their girlfriends and the escapades they get up to which make me sound like a boring pratt, you know how it is, young males, the "studs" are supposed to be notching thier belts with as many stars as they can get. But on my 21st birthday in September I made a conscious decision to myself that this was no longer going to be an issue, I mean I still love my friends and enjoy listening to their stories, but really I do not let them get me down because I embedded in my head that I would rather prefer substance over style and I would like to define success by measures of things that I achieve in my chosen career, hobbies etc rather than having some silly trophy bimbo on my arm every 2nd month and being the envy of everyone else.  I have also come to the conclusion that I will not "settle" for "second best" in order just to be married and make everyone else happy except me, without trying to sound like a whinger that is how I have had to live my life so far and now when it comes to me and how I set up mine its "my way or no way".  Hence I made my career a priority, and making sure that I have that set up so that I am able to lead a successful and comfortable life which makes me happy and my family/friends enjoyable as well, I am quite ambitious and will stop at nothing to make sure that I achieve my goals no matter how much hard work it takes and will not allow them to be curtailed by the pursuit of lust which would erode them for me, and at the real risk of sounding mysoginist and sexist, no woman is worth that much that I have to give all that up in my eyes. I have always been an independent individual person who values my freedom and have never been afraid to turn down an invite to a group gathering to do something on my own if I knew I would be happier and really thats the way it will always be and if that means sacrificing sex, romance etc.. Well so be it.  It is re-assuring to see that other people share my view and that I am not just some freak who may need Dr. Phil's help.  Love is grand so they say.  But really it's not the be all and end all and anyone who claims that they are "successful" because they bed 7 women in 7 nights are the real losers. 

 
December 3, 2005, 6:40 am CST

Love being single...sometimes

Quote From: redd52

Being single for the most part is okay..yes, lonely at times..but here the state I live in it is VERY family oriented and couple oriented ( youngest age percentage at marriage  in the nation), so when you go to a movie alone or dinner alone...they have so much disbelief that a woman can or will go by herself...sometimes they have to shout it ...ONLY ONE or JUST ONE!!!!  I try to make jokes like yes, unless you can find me a date...or if I am really annoyed by the hostess I will say...it is allowed here, isn't it.?..I think they don't even realize how it sounds like I have a disease and it will rub off on others....I am more amazed at woman in their 70's and 80's that cannot believe I do not have a man at my side. And I cannot believe how many are amazed that I will go on vacation by myself.  I would like a wonderful man in my life again but I am not going to wait to do activities and places to visit, it may never happen and then I will have missed out on so many opportunities I wonder if any other woman at my age (53) or women at any age have this same thing happen to them wherever they live, or is it just my location? 

  

I have had the same experiences. I am not as confident as you and sometimes just cant face the stares when I go to a restaurant alone. Nor can I tolerate the patronising attitude of servers who think they are being kind by being extra nice to me because I am alone. I have friends but they are not always available and feel I shouldnt live half a life because I am on my own. I have been on a couple of vacations alone and had fun and been happy to go back to my room alone after a day of activity or sightseeing. However I have had various enquiries from women who are accompanied by partners about my situation. I went on a hiking trip in South America recently and a younger woman asked me if I was there to meet Mr Right.  What a shame that women in their 30's think like that. I can brush off this kind of attitude from older people of my Grandparents generation.  

The other hazard about being alone on vacation is that men alone think you are an easy target. I have had to take evasive action on several occasions.  

I agree you should not miss out on opportunities. I admire any woman who goes out and does her thing rather than sitting at home wishing. I dont think it is your location that is the problem but society in general. When you experience this.....look at the person behind the attitude and wonder who is more confident with themselves as a person? I feel sorry for women who cannot imagine life alone. I think you need to be able to function alone in order to function well in a relationship of any kind....friendship, love, partnership etc. If you cannot function alone it may mean too much of a dependant attitude.  

My advice is to take the stares and comments with a pinch of salt.Look around you and see how many people are truly not happy at the other tables in a restaurant. When you see a happy coule be pleased for them and try not to let it make you feel lonely.  

 
December 7, 2005, 8:05 pm CST

Love Being Single

I love being single... I can date and have a fun time without having to commit.  However, if I run into Mr. Compatible, I may change my mind about being single... when the opportunity knocks.  I'm in no rush to marry.  I enjoy looking around though and getting to know others, as well as enjoy dating different guys.  It is nice to get out and have fun! 

  

: ) 

 
December 8, 2005, 3:16 pm CST

single life has it's ups and donwns

 well lets see where do i start, i guess i'll start by saying i love being single, but in the same breath i also what to say i hate being single..  for be being single is great because i don't have to answer to anyone, tell anyone where i'm going and when i'm comming home, and i can just do what ever i want to.. but being single around this time of year really sucks ass.. i mean you see all of these people going to parties with a girlfriend or bot friends, and well i hate to be a 3rd wheel.. so to tell you the truth i'm not sure what i want, i so badly want a girlfriend, but i so don't want someone whos going to bring me down either.. i guess what i'm trying to say is this.. i want someone who can allow me to be me, and knows i'm comming home to them when its all over... are you out there?? please let me know...
 
December 12, 2005, 1:05 pm CST

I Agree

Quote From: skippy373

 well lets see where do i start, i guess i'll start by saying i love being single, but in the same breath i also what to say i hate being single..  for be being single is great because i don't have to answer to anyone, tell anyone where i'm going and when i'm comming home, and i can just do what ever i want to.. but being single around this time of year really sucks ass.. i mean you see all of these people going to parties with a girlfriend or bot friends, and well i hate to be a 3rd wheel.. so to tell you the truth i'm not sure what i want, i so badly want a girlfriend, but i so don't want someone whos going to bring me down either.. i guess what i'm trying to say is this.. i want someone who can allow me to be me, and knows i'm comming home to them when its all over... are you out there?? please let me know...
I m a single mom and love being single but there are days where I really don't like be single.  It can be lonely at times, especially when all your friends are coupled.  I have been the third wheel and I cant stand it.  I want someone to be my friend and companion, my equal.  I just can't seem to find that.
 
December 12, 2005, 4:09 pm CST

Love Being Single

  

why is it when men are single they are called playboys and when women are single people assume its because nobody wanted them and they are branded "old maids"?? i personally dont ever want to get married.....and why should i? the only thing that would change would be my marital status and my last name! and besides i would probably just add to the increasingly high divorce rate in this country! 

 
December 12, 2005, 9:02 pm CST

cheer up ladies! we don't need men to make up happy !!

I currently just got out of a relationship. A pretty bad one too.  

 Ladies, why do we let men treat us like crap & let them get away with it?! .. Being single has it's ups... we have to stand up for ourselves and let the men out there know that we aren't just going to sit around & wait for him to come back. We have enough love & respect for ourselves to get out there and have fun and forget about them !!! Be proud of who you are ladies! Stand up for yourselves! YOU DO NOT NEED A MAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY !!!! If anything, they will probably just complicate life more :P haha!!  

  

 
December 12, 2005, 11:07 pm CST

51 and my own person

Quote From: redd52

Being single for the most part is okay..yes, lonely at times..but here the state I live in it is VERY family oriented and couple oriented ( youngest age percentage at marriage  in the nation), so when you go to a movie alone or dinner alone...they have so much disbelief that a woman can or will go by herself...sometimes they have to shout it ...ONLY ONE or JUST ONE!!!!  I try to make jokes like yes, unless you can find me a date...or if I am really annoyed by the hostess I will say...it is allowed here, isn't it.?..I think they don't even realize how it sounds like I have a disease and it will rub off on others....I am more amazed at woman in their 70's and 80's that cannot believe I do not have a man at my side. And I cannot believe how many are amazed that I will go on vacation by myself.  I would like a wonderful man in my life again but I am not going to wait to do activities and places to visit, it may never happen and then I will have missed out on so many opportunities I wonder if any other woman at my age (53) or women at any age have this same thing happen to them wherever they live, or is it just my location? 

I am 51 and go out to movies and restaurants and never took offense at the question of alone or not. I have no issue going out alone, never have. It does not even occur to me that the question may have another thought behind it. I made my mind up in my teens to be my own person and really do not feel a stigma in society. There is a trade off in being single or coupled, there are advantages and disadvantages in either position.
 
December 13, 2005, 9:48 pm CST

Spot on !!!!

Quote From: fyte4acure

I love being single... I can date and have a fun time without having to commit.  However, if I run into Mr. Compatible, I may change my mind about being single... when the opportunity knocks.  I'm in no rush to marry.  I enjoy looking around though and getting to know others, as well as enjoy dating different guys.  It is nice to get out and have fun! 

  

: ) 

I could not agree more...I like being single & enjoy every minute of it :)
 
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