Topic : Love Being Single

I haven't been in a relationship in a good long time and I just see alot of women I work with have boyfriends, fiances and husbands and they don't seem to be happier than me.   Think about it people we are forced by society to basically pair off or become lepers of society.  I know there is a widespread mindset if you can't get a man something is wrong - usually the mindset is that you are  a lesbian (very far from the truth)..  I'm 40, still attractive, and can get any guy if I wanted if I didn't have standards!   Also, I think when women get away from being in relationships, like me, I actually fear getting into one because I'm so mentally content without one.  Another factor with me is that I love being by myself and I have most of my nuclear and extended family in the area and when I want people to chat with and shoot the bull there are several dozen to go to so I have no need to cling romanically to a man who may be verbally abusive, controlling, etc.

I am the same way.  It's weird, my friends that all gave me lectures in my 20s about growing up and settling down when they got married are all calling me now to go out now that they are divorced.  I don't ever want to get married....I love my independence and freedom to choose what I want to do without obligation and commitment.   

  

We all may (or may not) eventually want to settle down, move in or marry someone....but in the meantime we need to be out there having fun!  Spending time with friends, spending quality time alone and relaxing, living by our own schedules and dating different people all who have some great quality that we can experience.  Around the holidays its even better!  Lotsa parties, get togethers and places to meet and or take new dates/friends : )  People who enjoy being single know there's no rush to get involved with someone that may not be right for us.  Therefore, we have a blast just living in the moment.  How cool is that? 

Hey Folks  

  

Theres nothing wrong with being single. I get tired of seeing people who think theres something wrong with being single. When your single you dont have to answer to no-one, go where and when you want DO what you want when you want. Single, is the way to go............ 

  

Relationships now are too stressfull and too much hassle and strain 

Main thing being single and having fun in the process 

  

Brian 

Maryland 

About two months ago, I found myself single again. I was scared at first but I quickly got over that. I have more time for myself, family and friends. Since the break-up I find myself in better shape and just plain happier. However, I am meeting allot of attractive guys, who are interested in starting a relationship. But I just don’t feel comfortable with settling down with just one guy right now. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be in a committed relationship, except I’m discovering for the first time how fun being single can be. My problem is that I’m scared I might be passing up Mr. Right. Am I being naive to think that I’ll continue meeting quality men? How do you know who is the right guy to settle down with?  

BTW: Happy New Years Everyone :o) 

 

Hello all… I just joined these forums and look forward to getting to know many of you.

Anyways, back to the topic...

... Many people have the outlook on relationships that if you are young, then you should not be getting involved in relationships. I disagree with this. My Reason being that even though we are still young, stupid, careless, and don’t really know what to do and how to act, we are still getting experience. Experience in the "game" of love is a vital "ingredient" to have, because without it we wont know what to do and how to act with our partners. Yes, we will all get hurt, and yes, we will all go through depressions and cry ourselves to sleep at night at some point in our lives because of a lost love or a ill relationship. But while this is happening, we are getting stronger, we are learning more, and we are tuning ourselves so that when we DO find Mr/Mrs right one day, we will KNOW that he/she is the one for us, and yes, past relationships etc help a lot in being able to tell if we have found Mr/Mrs right. 

  

Koolkat86: The fact that you don’t find the need to date is something that a lot of people go through, so you are not alone….. Obviously everyone will have their different reasons, and some may not even know why yet…. But things like bad past relationships, bad past dates, fear of commitment, fear of getting hurt, trust issues, etc etc… But I would like to quote a saying, it goes as follows:  

  

“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.”  

  

I think that the important message that this saying brings is that we all go through bad experiences with regards to relationships and love, but just because it happened with people in the past, doesn’t mean that it will happen with the people in the present and the future. Sure you will be more cautious and use the knowledge that you have gained in the past, but this is where people go wrong. They don’t act more cautious etc, they hold back totally, not allowing anyone else into their hearts, and end up regretting it and thinking to themselves: “if only I didn’t push him/her away, maybe we would have hit it off and found happiness with one another”  

  

If you find someone that you think you might be “the one”, then don’t let your past bad experiences get the better of you… If you do, you will have a hard time, if not complete failure finding Mr/Mrs right. If you are out and you see someone has an interest in you, then don’t be too quick to push them away, get to know them and THEN only judge whether you are interested in them or not.  

  

Love is a beautiful thing, and everyone should strive to embrace it! Remember, you only live once, so make the most of life and what it has to offer;) 

  

 I think that what many of you are missing is that when you are in love with someone and really want to be with them, you should be enjoying and looking forward to that persons company. If you find that you are fighting and that you are sad more than you are happy, then maybe you should reconsider your partner, or at least seek help and try and save the relationship. If being in a relationship with someone is more of a hassle to you as appose to it being enjoyable, then there is something wrong. Love is a wonderful thing that when found (with the right person) gives you satisfaction like no other thing will ever be able to give you, but unfortunately none of us have a crystal ball that will tell us who Mr/Mrs right is, so yes, we WILL go through a lot of bad relationships etc, but in the end, when you find Mr/Mrs right, the reward is definitely worth the "journey" that you took in order to get to where you are.

So overall, if you are finding that you are happier being single as appose to being in a relationship with someone, then obviously your past relationship(s) did not have the effect on you as a good relationship should. P.S.: Please remember that just because you might have not been happy in your previous relationships, doesn’t mean you wont in future relationships. 

 Does DrPhil post on these messageboards? If so, by what nickname?

And.. Is there any way to get emial notification ON ? (so if someone replies to a thread u have replied to, u will get an email telling u)
Tthanx for your time.

The only kind of woman who enjoys being single is one who hates men in the first place.

Just remember what came out yesterday....that the pill causes sex drive to decrease in women.  So...my advice is to find Mr. Right-right now.

How do you know if a chick is telling the truth about her interest in a guy?  Females master the art of lying in this area very early in their lives. 

  

It's hard for a guy to know what a woman's true intentions are because she's cried wolf for years.   

  

"I love you." 

  

five minutes later.... "I was just kidding.  I just like you as a good friend."