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Topic : 12/27 Runaway Dramas

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Created on : Thursday, October 12, 2006, 05:58:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/16/06) Imagine your pregnant teen daughter running away to be with her baby's father -- an older man whom she met online. For Heidi, this became reality when her 15-year-old daughter, Brittney, went missing for five weeks. Dr. Phil put private investigator and former FBI agent Harold Copus on the case to find the missing teen. See the confrontation when Harold finally locates her and her 34-year-old boyfriend. Then, find out why Brittney becomes even more upset when she learns what is in store for her. Two months have passed. Has Brittney's relationship with her mother improved? Next Kim, 15, has run away six times in the last year, most recently making it halfway across the country to be with her married boyfriend. Why didn't her parents look for her, and why does she say she'll do anything to get away from them? Can this family learn to get their relationship back on track? Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More December 2006 Show Boards.


 
flrat69
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December 29, 2006, 10:19 am PST

Evidence

Quote From: flthomcat

Are you NUTTY? You think 15 year olds should be considered adults MENTALLY? You either do not have children or you simply don't understand the children you have.

 

No fifteen year old is mature, even though most fifteen year olds THINK they are. Teens are still growing kids (big kids). They have emotional outbursts, they have mood swings, they lash out, they act hastily, they think with their hearts, their brains are still growing, they fight parental authority (and most other authority), they think going against the norm is cool, they are impressed with STUFF, etc, etc, etc.

 

Sorry, but teens are KIDS and the law is in place for that reason. Men and women of ADULT AGE know the law, know what they are doing (they are manipulative and cunning and selfish) and should be prosecuted as the predatory CRIMINALS they are (otherwise, they simply move on to other victims).

 

Talk about contradicting yourself...you say "it's only RAPE if the potential victim says NO! I am well aware of the fact that is is statutory when a minor is still involved but still..." 

HELLO? Is anybody home? Yes, it IS rape (legally and morally) when a minor is involved so the minor CANNOT say YES to sex. The answer to sex is automatically (legally and morally) NO to sex. Therefore, all sex with minors (even if the girl is foolishly begging for sex) is RAPE. These predatory adult males (and adult females) know that, so they are guilty of rape regardless of all else.

 

Both the parents and the predatory men play a part in this w/ regard to responsiblity, but the male still needs to pay for his crime. Regardless of the mistakes on the part of the parents, he CHOSE to break the law, go after a KID and take advantage of her immaturity. The law is in place to protect children (yes, teen children) from predators. These men are predators who broke the law and will continue to do so until stopped LEGALLY.

 

Your "two to tango" response is SO off the mark. I have worked with felony parolees (sex offenders) and taught high school teens for 9 years. I can tell you that you are CLUELESS with regard to both teenagers and sex offenders.

All medical evidence demonstrates very clearly that a 15 year old is NOT an adult mentally or physically.  Rape is rape.  Arguing about this or that factor changes nothing.  Statutory rape is still rape in every legal and moral sense.  I regret to say I have also worked (in a different capacity) with these criminals.  Paint it however you like, dress it in formal clothing, or adorn it with flowery words; rape is rape.  Period and end of statement.  On this issue, I agree with you all the way and challenge anyone to cite anything other than platitudes in defense of this crime. 
 
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faeryedark
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December 29, 2006, 10:26 am PST

12/27 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: flrat69

Okay, the boy did not have the best of role models.  Many people don't.  It does not entitle him to wallow in self-pity.  The father had a choice because HE IS THE ADULT.  It may seem unfair to you that the father wants to fulfill his life.  Children of a divorced couple frequently feel resentment, but eventually they have to deal with it.  You ask a lot about how a parent can do this to his child.  If the marriage is bad, it is far better to divorce than to stay together "for the sake of the child(ren)".  I in turn ask you how selfish a teen can be that they would think only of themselves and not care if the parent was happy.  The years spent in the familial home pale in comparison to those afterward.  Yes, it is a formative period, but forming attitudes of selfishness is not productive and will not help the teen learn to handle problems when he/she becomes an adult.  The step mother is usually the focus of the immature anger the teen feels.  She can't win one way or the other, because the teen will refuse to stop pouting.  Yes, the divorce rate is far too high and many people get married when they shouldn't.  Keeping a bad situation together solves nothing.  I am sure most parents would  (like most other adults) not "want" to get a divorce.  Sometimes people don't work hard enough to resolve issues, but frequently the issues cannot be resolved in any manner other than divorce.  I am very sorry you have had this problem and hope you get some professional help soon.  Take care. 
Amen!
 
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flrat69
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December 29, 2006, 10:31 am PST

12/27 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: faeryedark

Apparently, you don't like to read the truth either! I didn't say i was attacked (I was refering to the woman you originally responded to)

As for the rest....You have your version of the truth... I hope you and any children you have are happy with it.

As for myself (as I said I'm a step-mom) but there was no divorce involved. There was a  death of a lovely, beautiful woman who was taken from this world at far too young an age...leaving behind a grieveing fiance' and an 8 wk. old daughter. (this was over 13 years ago)

My husband loves his daughter and I love her as well, as much as my other children.We've given her a loving, happy home with two parents to care about her (as well as siblings) rather than just one struggling, over- whelmed parent

I am sure you have been a wonderful and loving mother to your step-daughter.  It is a shame when people who are willing to make genuine commitments to their spouse's children as well as to their spouse draw criticism and unwarranted attacks.  How any one could feel this little girl is better off without you is beyond me.  The writer did not come out and use those words, but that was the intent and the meaning.  For the rest of us, I apologize for your being subjected to such uninformed and narrow minded messages (I can't call them thoughts).  I wonder how such a person can think that a little girl who sees her mommy is being somehow abused by having a loving mother.  Bless you.
 
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faeryedark
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December 29, 2006, 6:54 pm PST

12/27 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: flrat69

I am sure you have been a wonderful and loving mother to your step-daughter.  It is a shame when people who are willing to make genuine commitments to their spouse's children as well as to their spouse draw criticism and unwarranted attacks.  How any one could feel this little girl is better off without you is beyond me.  The writer did not come out and use those words, but that was the intent and the meaning.  For the rest of us, I apologize for your being subjected to such uninformed and narrow minded messages (I can't call them thoughts).  I wonder how such a person can think that a little girl who sees her mommy is being somehow abused by having a loving mother.  Bless you.

 Thank you! I try to be at any rate.

Some people can't see beyond the end of their nose. Not everything is black and white, cut and dried...I feel for the guy I responded to ...he must have had a really bad experience to make him so close minded.

God Bless!
 
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gwarrior6
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December 30, 2006, 2:49 pm PST

Mental Rape

Part of the reason that a 30-something guy/gal is a child predator when they hook up with a 15-year old is that a guy that age has been around awhile.  He knows what to say and do to get a girl into bed.  I think that he would have some kind of psycological power over her to manipulate her to do things before she's ready to. 

 

I know that teenagers are sexually active, it's more the rule than the exception.  But if you get an older guy in there pulling the puppet strings, that seems predatory to me.  Just a thought, though.  Not saying that a May/December romance can't work.
 
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jdammes

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December 30, 2006, 2:51 pm PST

Dr Phil is WRONG!!

There is a time you have to give up and can do no more!!!

 

Dr Phil made a comment that the mother of the 15 year old runaway can not just give up because you have a parental responsibility.

We have a daughter who from the age of 12-16 we went through counseling and a number of residential placement facilities including one which was non-voluntary and locked down. These things are not cheap and we spent everything we had including moving into a smaller house, and using a second mortgage on that house to do everything we could to help our daughter. At the age 16 she returned home having been through the programs and exhausting our financial resources.

Within being home 2 months we had the local SWAT team in our house because our daughter was unhappy with the rules and picked up the phone calling 911 claiming her mother was attempting to kill her with a knife. This started a whole new process of dealing with the Department of Children and Families for the next 11 months clearing our name. This process started with a knock on our door at midnight. It was DCF and the local police there to remove our 4 year old daughter because it must be unsafe for her if our older daughter accused her mom of trying to kill her. Thank God a judge had some sense and she was returned to us. But, just imagine your 4 year old being yanked out of your home in the middle of the night and being taken away!! This and the legal battle for the next 11 months to keep my wife out of jail based solely on the accusation of a angry teen already charge and convicted of assault and battery on her parents.

You have to consider your own and other children's health and safety and there is a time you have to give up!

 

God has been our strength and our guide and though we have been handed some difficult challenges my wife, younger daughter, and I are doing good. Our older daughter was emancipated this year at the age of 17 and though I continue to pray for her I am no longer a part of her life.

 

 
 
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brandi1988
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March 20, 2007, 7:12 am PDT

no body knows

you guys are ridiculous. I am an 18 year old mother of  a little girl who is one. i got pregnant with her when i was 16 and her when i was 17. First of all dr,. phil was given inaccurate info. this girl who is pregnant was 17 at the time of the show and 16 when she got pregnant. She obviously choose to be with this guy.. anyways..the father of my child is now 29. we have a great relationship together. Not all men want to have just some young sweet ass. I was very impressed with brittney and the way she acted on the show. No one even hounded her mother. Can you believe that .. she said that she thought the guy was only 24 well hell that is stll older than her. so just b/c she found out later that he was 34 then she freaks. All of you viewers including dr. phil  need to look at all the facts now.  do yall even know where this girl is in life?? No.
 
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brandi1988
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March 20, 2007, 7:37 am PDT

i agree

Quote From: gwarrior6

Well, it's mostly a LEGAL thing.  The law says that anyone under 18 who has sex with someone over 18 is a victim of statuatory rape.  The law defines anyone under 18 as a child.  The girl (16 yo) on the show was online when she met the 34 yo guy.  He was LOOKING for a young girl, ergo, he's a CHILD predator. 

 

Most ppl when they're teens, can't predict the consequences of their actions, so the law protects them from doing something stupid that they'll have to deal with for the rest of their lives (like getting pregnant at that age).  The girl often answered "I don't know" to Dr. P's questions about how the child would be raised and about his other kids.

 

BTW, what FACTS are we supposed to be getting?  I don't get it, so please explain it to me.

 

At 18, most ppl have at least a high school education and can support themselves, and are at a point where they have a chance of grasping adult responsibilities.

     i agree completley..no one knowsthe facts. just wat they saw on dr. phil. society has changed big time. this big of an age difference waws accepted a few years ago. look at loretta lynn a famous country music singer. she was 13 when she got married to a 34year old and started  her family. NOT EVERY GUY IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR. all of you "adults" were kids once. you think you know everything now b/c  your older. and you may things from expierence but so do the teens. and they learn form thier parents who have done a shitty job of parenting.
 
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