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Topic : 12/27 Runaway Dramas

Number of Replies: 176
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Created on : Thursday, October 12, 2006, 05:58:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/16/06) Imagine your pregnant teen daughter running away to be with her baby's father -- an older man whom she met online. For Heidi, this became reality when her 15-year-old daughter, Brittney, went missing for five weeks. Dr. Phil put private investigator and former FBI agent Harold Copus on the case to find the missing teen. See the confrontation when Harold finally locates her and her 34-year-old boyfriend. Then, find out why Brittney becomes even more upset when she learns what is in store for her. Two months have passed. Has Brittney's relationship with her mother improved? Next Kim, 15, has run away six times in the last year, most recently making it halfway across the country to be with her married boyfriend. Why didn't her parents look for her, and why does she say she'll do anything to get away from them? Can this family learn to get their relationship back on track? Share your thoughts here.

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October 14, 2006, 6:21 am CDT

cant wait to see what happens.

but i can post my pre show thoughts  any way,  i do think some ones butt should be in jail as o type this, for 1 we have a 16 year old girl and a 15 year old girl whos with child as i speak , looks like to me some guys have broken some laws here, and i do hope some one puts thear asses behind bars where they belong, i mean come on here these are just children here, if eather were my daughter i know two guys who would not have thear balls very long,!!!!!!!
 
October 15, 2006, 10:54 am CDT

What about the girls???

It seems to me that the girls had a part in this. (unless they were raped). People need to take responsibility for their own behavior.  Having sex with someone is in most cases, a choice. They could have said "No", they could have used a condom, or other forms of birth control. There are many options ro prevent a pregnancy. I know a girl who got pregnant at a young age, and it was not because some guy forced himself on her. She knew exactly what she was doing. My hubby and I have talked about this a lot. As they say...it takes two to tango!! 
 
October 15, 2006, 11:52 am CDT

Teenagers do not have our time

Today's society has been set up for family's to fail.  Too much emphasis is placed on having the right home (neighborhood), expensive designer clothes, electronic gimmicks and overcrowding in schools.  I'm not suggesting that my response is perfect because it is not.  Today there are thousands of single parent homes where the one parent has to work.  So then what happens.  Kids raise themselves.  Although they are not ready to make adult decisions they are forced into it at an early age.  All it does is mix them up.  And how does that explain two parent families.  Both parents believe they need to work outside the home and their lifestyle makes you believe that is so.  Let me see...........two cars, TV for every room, designer clothes, eat out a lot (no time to cook).  Again children spend most of their time alone.  Now what we have is young independent still not mature children raising themselves. A very good recipe for sexual perverts.  Although I consider them animals I will have to say they have very good instincts about attaching themselves to lonely, insecure, immature people. Thats where young teenagers come in. They spend too much time on their own but they are lonely,  they need help with their problems and their parents aren't around to help.  Anyway, I can tell from my rambling that this is a major problem and as a society, community, neighborhood we need to do something.  What that may be is complicated and for another discussion.  I am looking forward to hearing Dr. Phil's take on this problem. 
 
October 15, 2006, 3:39 pm CDT

10/16 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: angeden

Today's society has been set up for family's to fail.  Too much emphasis is placed on having the right home (neighborhood), expensive designer clothes, electronic gimmicks and overcrowding in schools.  I'm not suggesting that my response is perfect because it is not.  Today there are thousands of single parent homes where the one parent has to work.  So then what happens.  Kids raise themselves.  Although they are not ready to make adult decisions they are forced into it at an early age.  All it does is mix them up.  And how does that explain two parent families.  Both parents believe they need to work outside the home and their lifestyle makes you believe that is so.  Let me see...........two cars, TV for every room, designer clothes, eat out a lot (no time to cook).  Again children spend most of their time alone.  Now what we have is young independent still not mature children raising themselves. A very good recipe for sexual perverts.  Although I consider them animals I will have to say they have very good instincts about attaching themselves to lonely, insecure, immature people. Thats where young teenagers come in. They spend too much time on their own but they are lonely,  they need help with their problems and their parents aren't around to help.  Anyway, I can tell from my rambling that this is a major problem and as a society, community, neighborhood we need to do something.  What that may be is complicated and for another discussion.  I am looking forward to hearing Dr. Phil's take on this problem. 
I completely agree with you.  It truly is pitiful the way todays society has turned out.  It really depresses me to think how things are now compared to what they were when I was little.  Keep in mind I will be 26 in a couple monthes but my mother was a 'stay at home mom'  and my dad made our living.   I guess you could say we were the exception.  My two sisters and I had both parents in the home so we didn't have the issues of growing up in a broken home.  But in most cases today the parents are split up and the mother gets to raise the kids.  Or both parents are still together but work 24/7.  In both cases the kids are forced to raise theirself. It is pathetic how both parents are basically forced to work just to make ends meat.  The cost of living has sky -rocketed even in the last 10 years.  I believe that if parents were given the opportunity to spend more time at home raising their children then we would not have as many kids feel the need to run away or get hooked on drugs and alcohol.  But then again that is easy for me to say because I'm young, single and don't have any kids of my own.  But I know what I see and  I see a society spinning so far out of control and the kids are the ones reaping the consequences.  How on earth did it come to this?  I agree, something needs to be done.  Society needs to slow down and spend a little more family time. 
 
October 15, 2006, 4:57 pm CDT

Wow

Well, I can say I just left the teenage world (20) I have seen what goes on. There are children saying yes to sex. I think the two adults who enage with them need some tyoe of punishment...But I have to wonder about the parents. There has to be reasons for why these girls have acted out like this. Are the fathers around?? I can't wait to see the show to get all the details.
 
October 15, 2006, 6:23 pm CDT

Runaway Dramas

 

 

     Well most of you will not like what I am about to say.... heck you just may delete this but its okay... with me I have not seen the runaways yet ....but I am looking forward and I will feel the same way.... I do now..... these are 15 and 16 years old females not children they are looking for love all in the wrong places ...  they believe in these older men thinking they will take great care of them .... but all these old raggy men want is just some sweet young butt ..... that they can control ..... and they do have the very best control over them ..... what is that its called LOVE.... to these young girls this is just want they see and think .....

 

       now  if these girl are virgins or at least  one of them or both ..... whatever...... then they are not going to listen to Dr. Phil or their own parents .... what you are really doing is driving your kids away .... okay now on the men side OK yeah its all about LUST and getting their rocks off and CONTROL  ......they are playing with these girls mind .... and there is nothing anyone can do .... if you lock the men up they will just follow the guys in jail or prison .... or get another older man ..... what these girls are really looking for is that parent love that they did not get from their parents ....

 

     . and their parents know that they did not spend that quality time with them ...... I am not saying they are bad parents No!!  .... when they was five and six years of age now ten years later they want to be parents .... oh no you get just what you put into life .... its way to late to be a parent now....  you are only going to lose your girls and if you do get them back it will change EVERYTHING you would have to give those girls your whole attention ..... with a little bit space in between ..... now what the parents can do is really tell their girls ....

 

     okay hey I messed up ..... but I am trying to be here now  ....   this is a big mistake these guys had used you they don't want you..... just wanna to control you and have you think that they are something that they are not  ...... they are not going to love you the way you want them to .... and then the parents will just have to set aside .... OH YEAH!! set aside and just wait....  I hope none of the girls are in any danger .... cause if so then the police will have to be involved .....but the parents can't think that everything is going to be just fine .... cause it will not things will become very hard .....

 

    cause these girls really LOVE these men and they only see GOOD in them .... they see that the parents are being HARMFUL and very DISRESPECT .... and they really hate their own parents.....  I know the parents are very hurt .... but they have to just let go .....  and hope the girls will see the wrong in the guys .... and then the parents can just welcome their girls with loving arms .....  not saying I told you so,,,  don't say that ,,,, just welcome them with loving arms and still give them their space,,,,, and give them the attention they need.... so they will not go look for it in an older man ever in life .....

 

       but will look for someone their own age and live happier ever after life's ....  I was in the same situation just about 29 years ago....  I was 15 and he was 35..... my parents had him arrested and I hated them for a very I mean very long time ...... I know you all are saying good for your parents for arrested the S.O.B .... and I really do understand why you would say that..... but for me I was in LOVE and thats the disease that you are working with and fighting with .....

 

       well to make the long story short about me and my parents everything  is all well  and dandy  now ..... but they just had to let me get hurt ..... I did not come home right away.....  cause I felt ashamed ...... but I finally did and in all times it took some work....  but in all time we did have the happier life so to the Parents just be very careful cause you don't want to lose your girls...

 
October 16, 2006, 3:16 am CDT

Result of a runaways' actions

I am a disabled parent of a child who was coerced to runaway at age fifteen, drop out of school, etc. by a perverted child molester who was more than twice my childs' age. My child aborted one pregnancy created by this pervert, and again ran away from home. Child Protective Services elects not to investigate. I had filed a runaway report with the police, and they said , as must be standard response, that my runaway will return home. A second pregnancy was caused by this coercive sexually addicted pervert, and it was aborted. Ten years later, my child has stolen my identity, caused more than $50,000.00 of fraud, including of my monies for a vehicle. Still, NOTHING has been done by the legal system that shows to be enabling of crimes (s) by not arresting this perverted child molester when I filed the initial complaint in 1995, along with his identity. Child Protective Services would not investigate. I have yet to obtain a response from the FBI. I recently filed a complaint with my local police department less than three weeks ago, regarding being awakened of a sound sleep by a phone call made by this pervert, inquiring if I would have sex with him. The police department responded that it is not a crime for one to be awoken out of a sleep, nor is it a crime for one to be asked of a sexual act. I told them that the sexually addicted pevert is a child molester, and I will greatly disfigure his anatomy if he appears at my residence. He has said that he would break a window to obtain entry for his intent. My oversleeping after a phone call that rudely awoke me out of sound sleep, resulted in a $10,000.00 warrant for my arrest of a failure to appear the day of the phone call (that is a crime). It was suspended as I did appear ten days ago. My child was detailed by the judge of the fraud expenses that she will have to repay, told she is facing a three year prison sentence followed by four years parole. When I found a chance to state what I had intended to say for nearly three years of time I did. There were six court room employees witness to my commentary, the judge, bailiff, stenogapher, & three attorneys. I did say to my child that she is nothing other than a piece of white trash. It will be a long, possibly very long time IF I re-connect with my child, as she has caused rental evictions (3), excessive debts, lied to the police twice, lied under oath to the non-investigative courts claiming I abandoned her at seventeen years of age, and the judge then (1998) would not view proof that indicates otherwise. My child has caused endless heartburn/heartache not excluding the grey hairs I now have. My adult age child may have had removal of her seven year child as I did not see my grandchild or her molesting father in court ten days ago. Sadly, it will be my innocent grandchild who will be long-term victim of her parents' choices of crimes. Child molesters/ rapists should be detained in non-protective custody.
 
October 16, 2006, 6:25 am CDT

10/16 Runaway Dramas

Quote From: lksantee

It seems to me that the girls had a part in this. (unless they were raped). People need to take responsibility for their own behavior.  Having sex with someone is in most cases, a choice. They could have said "No", they could have used a condom, or other forms of birth control. There are many options ro prevent a pregnancy. I know a girl who got pregnant at a young age, and it was not because some guy forced himself on her. She knew exactly what she was doing. My hubby and I have talked about this a lot. As they say...it takes two to tango!! 

Shhh... now don't be sayin' people need to be takin' responsibility for their own behaviour. Do you know how much you'll get slammed for that? Try to remember everyone is a victim.

 

 

 
October 16, 2006, 7:35 am CDT

Runaway Dramas

My son ran away at age 16.  We went and brought him back.  Convinced we could, should and would get him thru high school.  We did but it was a mistake.  Should have just packed his clothes and put them out on the front porch and not allowed him back into our house.  He made our life hell until he graduated highschool.  Hind sight is 20/20!  He is now 38 and has in the last 10 years turned into a great guy. There is no excuse for allowing anyone to be treated you bad and that INCLUDES YOUR KIDS! 
 
October 16, 2006, 8:24 am CDT

That's What You Think

Quote From: annette43

 

 

     Well most of you will not like what I am about to say.... heck you just may delete this but its okay... with me I have not seen the runaways yet ....but I am looking forward and I will feel the same way.... I do now..... these are 15 and 16 years old females not children they are looking for love all in the wrong places ...  they believe in these older men thinking they will take great care of them .... but all these old raggy men want is just some sweet young butt ..... that they can control ..... and they do have the very best control over them ..... what is that its called LOVE.... to these young girls this is just want they see and think .....

 

       now  if these girl are virgins or at least  one of them or both ..... whatever...... then they are not going to listen to Dr. Phil or their own parents .... what you are really doing is driving your kids away .... okay now on the men side OK yeah its all about LUST and getting their rocks off and CONTROL  ......they are playing with these girls mind .... and there is nothing anyone can do .... if you lock the men up they will just follow the guys in jail or prison .... or get another older man ..... what these girls are really looking for is that parent love that they did not get from their parents ....

 

     . and their parents know that they did not spend that quality time with them ...... I am not saying they are bad parents No!!  .... when they was five and six years of age now ten years later they want to be parents .... oh no you get just what you put into life .... its way to late to be a parent now....  you are only going to lose your girls and if you do get them back it will change EVERYTHING you would have to give those girls your whole attention ..... with a little bit space in between ..... now what the parents can do is really tell their girls ....

 

     okay hey I messed up ..... but I am trying to be here now  ....   this is a big mistake these guys had used you they don't want you..... just wanna to control you and have you think that they are something that they are not  ...... they are not going to love you the way you want them to .... and then the parents will just have to set aside .... OH YEAH!! set aside and just wait....  I hope none of the girls are in any danger .... cause if so then the police will have to be involved .....but the parents can't think that everything is going to be just fine .... cause it will not things will become very hard .....

 

    cause these girls really LOVE these men and they only see GOOD in them .... they see that the parents are being HARMFUL and very DISRESPECT .... and they really hate their own parents.....  I know the parents are very hurt .... but they have to just let go .....  and hope the girls will see the wrong in the guys .... and then the parents can just welcome their girls with loving arms .....  not saying I told you so,,,  don't say that ,,,, just welcome them with loving arms and still give them their space,,,,, and give them the attention they need.... so they will not go look for it in an older man ever in life .....

 

       but will look for someone their own age and live happier ever after life's ....  I was in the same situation just about 29 years ago....  I was 15 and he was 35..... my parents had him arrested and I hated them for a very I mean very long time ...... I know you all are saying good for your parents for arrested the S.O.B .... and I really do understand why you would say that..... but for me I was in LOVE and thats the disease that you are working with and fighting with .....

 

       well to make the long story short about me and my parents everything  is all well  and dandy  now ..... but they just had to let me get hurt ..... I did not come home right away.....  cause I felt ashamed ...... but I finally did and in all times it took some work....  but in all time we did have the happier life so to the Parents just be very careful cause you don't want to lose your girls...

Believe it or not all runaways don't run for the same reasons.  In our case, our daughter was loved, respected, cared for, well educated, listened to, allowed to grow and express herself, hugged, kissed, joked with, validated and most importantly given a spiritual compass by which to live her life.  She was raised knowing how to treat others and how to care for and love herself.  She has 2 siblings who seem to have done well in grasping and appreciating all of the above.  Sometimes there is an emotional component in teen behavior that warrants a closer,less judgemental look and approach.  We all know that hormones  play a critical role at this time as well.  It would be helpful to do some research and not make "off the cuff" comments as if you know all of the answers without haven done any of the work or research. In our situation we found law enforcement to be useless in finding our daughter.  We found her ourselves. Initially we were not able to determine what had caused this sudden strange behavior.  Nothing had been done to her  to make her want to leave , she was not angry with her family. She was suffering from an emotional condition that has still not been fully diagnosed.  She is now home and seems to be quite remorseful for what we went through in trying to find her and understand what was going on.  We knew that something was very wrong because she had never done anything like this before, nor had she given us any cause for real worry.  Unfortunately she had just turned 19yrs old (3 days) and the police would not help us eventhough we told them that this behavior indicated that something was very, very wrong. It is good that things are well with you and your family now, but just know that every runaway may not run for the only conditions you listed.
 
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