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Topic : 04/02 In-Law Threats

Number of Replies: 233
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, October 12, 2006, 06:01:07 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/18/06) We've all heard of in-laws who don't get along, but these guests say their problems have reached a life-threatening level. Keri and her mother-in-law, Patti, have been fighting for nine years. Patti admits that she's never liked Keri and calls her names, but she says Keri pushes her to the breaking point. Brian, Keri's husband and Patti's son, says he has been caught in the middle but is ready to take a side. Will Patti see how she contributes to the chaos and learn to change her ways, or is Keri really to blame for what's been going on? Then, Chris says his mother-in-law, Cathy, tried to run him down with her SUV. Cathy says she lost control of her car. Chris has filed charges against Cathy. Was this the right thing to do? And, what's happened to Cathy since Dr. Phil producers spoke to her? Could something more serious be causing her allegedly erratic behavior? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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April 27, 2007, 8:43 pm CDT

Obsessed with a wife?

I would think once the knot was tied and it was a done deal, there'd be boredom after 11 years. Neurosis? At least he is seeking help.
 
April 28, 2007, 11:47 am CDT

Mother in law

I watched a small part of the show the other day and thought about a situation going on in our family.  My daughter in law and my step son have become very dependent and I found out that my daughter in law had posted on a homeschooling blog that her inlaws were making her life hell and had her trapped.  I began to understand that we had created an unhealthy dependency and that she was gaining sympathy for her silly point of view.  She and my step son do not work and they are not independent adults and they resent being told what to do.  It's crazy.  His mother has paid their rent for seven years.  And my husband and I pretty much provide the rest of their support, last year I bought him a car. 

 

I guess I should back up a litlle, this began because my step son is a very fragile diabetic and has health problems.  They both worked at one time and they always struggled but they and their children got by.  She decided that she wanted to homeschool the children.  We didn't really agree with her, but they aren't our children and didn't really have much to say about it as long as they were supporting them selves.  She is afraid of the world and constantly tells my granddaughters that they will be kidnapped.  My tweleve year old granddaughter just recently walked two blocks unsupervised for the first time in her life.  My daughter in law's fears run her life and I've tried to get her to get help, but she is scared.  About five years ago, she quit her job and hasn't worked more than a couple of months since.   He lost his job.  We finally decided that the dependancy was unhealthy and that we weren't practicing good parenting and decided that they needed to be independent again and told them that they would have to put the girls in school and either get jobs or get on welfare and particpate in the welfare to work program.  We offered to help with this process.   She fought us every step of the way.   They finally did sign up for welfare and  eventually he put the girls in school, but it has been like pulling teeth and I've finally just went over to the house and told them that if they are going to be dependend on us, I am going to run the house and if that makes them uncomfortable, I suggest that they become independent.  This resulted in all kinds of nuttiness, but I'm hoping that it results in independence.  I don't mind being called interferring, I just want to be out of this nightmare.  I want this to be uncomfortable for them.  The main job of adulthood is self sufficency and the main job of parents is to support your children and teach them to be independent.  They are failing as adults and as parents.  We have been errant as parents and are trying to correct things.  There are always two sides to every story.

 
April 28, 2007, 7:51 pm CDT

so sorry to hear it.

Quote From: cmacleod

This is so many of us out there.  We need your help.  I am a 23 yr old marriage who has been destroyed by my MIL.   That is his mother but there is a line.  What happened to the mothers of the older generation.  Why do they control their sons that way.  I have never heard of such horrible family separations that all the stories about MIL's.  Please help us!  I am sure that all these women out there will not treat their sons like that.  How do we live through this and save our marriages.  I have a killer MIL.  I got told 4 yrs ago by a physic on our bus tour that this is a women I MUST stay far away from....but my husband will not believe it.  IT was mentioned to me to never leave our son with her as she will take him in a car and try to get in an accident and kill him.  Man this is hard to live with.  Dr.Phil.please help us women.  WHY is this strong in our aira?  We need more of you Dr.Phil.  Please write a book and tell those women to BACK OFF!

 

Cheryl

"Fighting for her family in Canada!"

 

Hi Cheryl,

I am so sorry to hear that your mil won the battle,  its a shame we have to have wars over these things but that's what it feels like.

in response to the older generations thingy, I think they cant get used to the fact that most guys can actually think for themselves and dont really want mummy telling them what to do or think.  Some sons just find it hard to be disrespectful to their mums. which I think is fair enough, I dont like people being rude to my mum.  I think it would be hard to talk back to them. But it also gets to the point like Dr Phil has said in the past, if it is the husband having trouble with the mil, then its up to the wife to talk to her and vice versa.

 

Maybe it happens more now because dil are going out to work more and the mil's dont think they are taking good enough care of her family.  Remember it really is only this generation that women went to work and didnt necessarily stay home with the kids. I have herd people say they think the only good wife and mother are the ones that stay home with their families. ( which I think is total rubbish) Maybe they are geolous because we have a choice now more so than they did.

I really dont know the answer, maybe they just like making our lives misserable.

 

leanne

 
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