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Topic : 04/02 In-Law Threats

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Created on : Thursday, October 12, 2006, 06:01:07 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 10/18/06) We've all heard of in-laws who don't get along, but these guests say their problems have reached a life-threatening level. Keri and her mother-in-law, Patti, have been fighting for nine years. Patti admits that she's never liked Keri and calls her names, but she says Keri pushes her to the breaking point. Brian, Keri's husband and Patti's son, says he has been caught in the middle but is ready to take a side. Will Patti see how she contributes to the chaos and learn to change her ways, or is Keri really to blame for what's been going on? Then, Chris says his mother-in-law, Cathy, tried to run him down with her SUV. Cathy says she lost control of her car. Chris has filed charges against Cathy. Was this the right thing to do? And, what's happened to Cathy since Dr. Phil producers spoke to her? Could something more serious be causing her allegedly erratic behavior? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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samanthabre
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April 2, 2007, 7:35 am PDT

dr.phil

i have inlaws from hell . from the very being of my relashinship with my husben thay have done everthing too brack us up.  one time she went so far as to tell me all kinds of bad things about my husben, like how bad of a parent he was no one is perfect.  then my father inlaw went as far as to tell my that if i left my husban that he would try and kill me and tack my son from me.  when my stepdauters are her they make dame shere thay tell the girls to make my life hell so there dad will side with them so i will leave.  the last thing thay did was after my secent son past away thay went around and tould ever one that i killed my son to get simpothey from people, and aked the greving grandparents, so thay looked like thay where the ones that lost  and no one felt sorry for me and my family.  the very last thing thay did was two days after my sons family gothering for him my the police where called to say that i was abousing my son, then after the cops left thay trid it again as the cops left thay came back and oppoligiced to us.
 
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flrat69
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April 2, 2007, 8:11 am PDT

I Love It

Quote From: swchick

 You are mistaken that I must have had a negative experience and/or wanted to kick my husband out of the delivery room.   I had a c-section following induction of labor when overdue, and my husband was present and the first to hold our child.

Get the point - the delivering woman is not there to cater to the emotional needs or expectations of others.  Childbirth is not theater.   A woman puts her husband first by meeting *her own needs* and those of the child trying to exit her body and enter the world, because that is the best way to assure she and the baby will have the optimal outcome.  

People like me have belly ached "I want my mama"?  The one person I wanted excluded from the delivery room was, in fact, my own mother.   And I am trying to emphasise that this kind of exclusion requires no explanation or apology.

I have been reading the "discussion" the two of you have had.  This is a subject I am fortunate not to have experienced.  Actually, the hospitals should have bars at which the fathers-to-be can get plastered while awaiting the conclusion of the birth. 

 

In truth, I think the two of you are amazing.  This is much ado about nothing.  It seems to me that the person actually having the baby should choose who she wants to ask to be in the delivery room.  It's a huge assumption to think most people would actually want to be there.  This is a decision that should be made well ahead of time by the mother-to-be.  I don't see that anyone has a "right" to be there unless invited. 
 
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our4sons

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April 2, 2007, 8:44 am PDT

Dr. Phil... you reaaly need to consider you stance on Grandparents!

Dr. Phil said, “I support you having a relationship with those children, and I hope that you would figure out a way to make that happen. Those children need you in their life. You need them in your life. There’s nothing but good, strong, healthy things that can come from grandparents being in the lives of their grandchildren.” 

 

Are you serious? They are not always a benefit to a child, let alone to the child's own parents. Good, loving & understanding grandparents? Yes. But (yet again) you were not dealing with a good, loving & understanding grandparent.

 

Please, Dr. Phil., you have an amazing influence over so many people. Think your thoughts through before you speak them.

 
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penny_lady
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April 2, 2007, 9:18 am PDT

04/02 In-Law Threats

Quote From: our4sons

Dr. Phil said, I support you having a relationship with those children, and I hope that you would figure out a way to make that happen. Those children need you in their life. You need them in your life. Theres nothing but good, strong, healthy things that can come from grandparents being in the lives of their grandchildren. 

 

Are you serious? They are not always a benefit to a child, let alone to the child's own parents. Good, loving & understanding grandparents? Yes. But (yet again) you were not dealing with a good, loving & understanding grandparent.

 

Please, Dr. Phil., you have an amazing influence over so many people. Think your thoughts through before you speak them.

I agree with you completely. 

I would have liked to see him say:

"There's nothing but good, strong, healthy things that can come from having good, strong, healthy, PEOPLE in the lives of children."

A person is not benevolent JUST BECAUSE they are a grandparent.
 
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sshawnbl007
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April 2, 2007, 9:29 am PDT

In-Laws

The 2 Mother In-Laws that were on the show.  Sound like they were the InLaws from Hell.  My Brother's Girlfriend is my future Daughter InLaw From Hell.  Her and my Brother fight all the time. She tell him what to do I don't think they will ever get along. But he still wants to get married I don't think it will last long. 
 
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penny_lady
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April 2, 2007, 9:39 am PDT

04/02 In-Law Threats

Quote From: sshawnbl007

The 2 Mother In-Laws that were on the show.  Sound like they were the InLaws from Hell.  My Brother's Girlfriend is my future Daughter InLaw From Hell.  Her and my Brother fight all the time. She tell him what to do I don't think they will ever get along. But he still wants to get married I don't think it will last long. 

Well, as a woman who has 2 brothers let me offer some advice. Just smile and be nice to her and him.  Unless you see real blatant abuse it's not your business and your brother is living his life as he sees fit. Even if you disapprove. Even if you think it won't last. It's his life, and it's his girlfriend. You'll find yourself much happier if you just let yourself be happy for him.
 
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momakababe
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April 2, 2007, 10:09 am PDT

04/02 In-Law Threats

Quote From: our4sons

Dr. Phil said, I support you having a relationship with those children, and I hope that you would figure out a way to make that happen. Those children need you in their life. You need them in your life. Theres nothing but good, strong, healthy things that can come from grandparents being in the lives of their grandchildren. 

 

Are you serious? They are not always a benefit to a child, let alone to the child's own parents. Good, loving & understanding grandparents? Yes. But (yet again) you were not dealing with a good, loving & understanding grandparent.

 

Please, Dr. Phil., you have an amazing influence over so many people. Think your thoughts through before you speak them.

I agree with you and frankly I think that it's so difficult when there are certain behaviors in a family that are needed to be broken (like verbal abuse) & you don't want to cut off extended family & yet you want to break the cycle of the behavior.  I think we have an obligation to our children to protect them from abusive behaviors and an obligation to ourselves to be allowed to raise our children in our own way.  I hope I said that correctly.  I remember so well when I'd brought home my twin babies & my mother came to my home & would genuinly be a help to me & there were many times my MIL would be so wonderful to me too, but I think there's a difference between helping a parent & then undermining them.  It's hard enough today to raise children with all they're up against the last thing we need is grandparents who are confusing them even more by undermining a parents authority.  When we've got a grand parent who's behavior is really destructive I think it's our responsibility as a parent to protect our children from it. 
 
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swchick
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April 2, 2007, 10:09 am PDT

Can't find anyplace to disagree with you

Quote From: flrat69

I have been reading the "discussion" the two of you have had.  This is a subject I am fortunate not to have experienced.  Actually, the hospitals should have bars at which the fathers-to-be can get plastered while awaiting the conclusion of the birth. 

 

In truth, I think the two of you are amazing.  This is much ado about nothing.  It seems to me that the person actually having the baby should choose who she wants to ask to be in the delivery room.  It's a huge assumption to think most people would actually want to be there.  This is a decision that should be made well ahead of time by the mother-to-be.  I don't see that anyone has a "right" to be there unless invited. 

 It seems to me that the person actually having the baby should choose who she wants to ask in the delivery room.

Indeed.
 
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samanthabre
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April 2, 2007, 11:18 am PDT

i hate my inlaws

I DONT UNDER STAND WHY MY INLAWS ARE THE WAY THAY ARE AT ALL.  FROM THE VARY BEING THAY HAVE DONE EVERY THING TO GET ME TO LEAVE.  FOR STARTERS MY MOTHER INLAW STARTED TO TELL ME EVERY BAD THING SHE COULD THINK OF TO GET ME TO NOT KEEP DATING MY HUSBEN AT THE TIME.  WHEN HE MOVIED IN WITH ME MY INLAWS STARTED MORE TROUBLE BY USING MY HUSBEN'S STEPDAUGHTER AND DAUGHTER TO GET ME TO LEAVE HIM. THEN I GOT PREGNET WITH MY SON THAY WHERE NICE FOR ABOUT 12MO.  THEN I BECAME THE B**** AGAIN, BECAUSE THEY WONT'ED TO TAKE ALL THE KIDS ON A TRIP AND MY HUSBEN SAID NO AND IT BECAME MY FOLT AND MY MOTHER INLAW AND SISTER INLAW TOLD ME THAT MY FATHER INLAW WOUKLD NOT WEICH MY SON FOR US ANY MORE.  THEN ONE TIME MY INLAWS COME OVER AND THEY TOLD ME THAT IF I EVER LEFT MY HUSBEN THAT THAY WHERE AFRAID THAT HE WOULD TRY AND KILL ME IF I TRY'ED TO LEAVE WITH ARE SON.  THEN WE HAD A NOTHER SON AND HE PAST AWAY WHEN HE WAS 5MO OLD AND MY INLAWS WHEN AROUND AND STARTED TO TELL PEOPLE THAT I KILLED MY SON TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD AND SO EVERY ONE WOULD FILL SORRY FOR THEM. TWO WKS AND 2 DAYS THAY HAD THERE FRIENDS CALL THE POLICE AND SAY THAT I WAS ABOUSING MY SON, WHEN THE COPS CHECKED HIM AND FOUND OUT HE WAS FINE THAY LEFT, ON THE WAS OUT THAY CALLED AGAIN AND SAID THAY SAW ME HIT HIM AGAIN AND THE  COP CAME BACK AND APOLIGISED AND TOLD AS WHAT HAPPENED.  MY INLAWS ARE MEAN PEOPLE AND THAY US THEM LIKE A PESS OF DIRT IF U LET THEM AND IF YOU DONT LET THEM CONTROL YOU LIFE THAY TRY TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MISIBLUE FOR NO RESONE, THAY DO NOT WONT ANY BUDDIE LIFE BETTER THEN THERE'S.
 
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mbkstep
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April 2, 2007, 12:07 pm PDT

04/02 In-Law Threats

Quote From: henderc

 Dr. Phil
 I live the life of these people, and God knows I feel for them.I have a mother in law who has made my life hell. She comes to my house after my wife and daughter leave so no one else knows she is there and then makes wild allegations about me. Then states if I say anything she won't trust me!!! She has even go so far as to accuse me of sexually abusing my nephew knowing full well its a lie. She loves to hurt me and then says its my fault and I am just over reacting.  My wife is caught in the middle but I am at the point I am ready to tell everyone in the family just what she has done to me. Last time she  came to my house and made threats I tried to call the police and she said my wife would never beieve me, and at times I almost believe her. She sets it all up, comes when no one is around  and then leaves before they come home.
 I am at a loss as to how to deal with this women and just wonder how far she is willing to go to try and ruin my life.
Sounds like you really know how far she's willing to go.
 
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