Topic : 06/05 Big Spenders and Cheapskates

Really, I don't know why she wanted to still live at home with her mom.  I moved out when I was 18, I had a job, and I felt so good about myself.  I could never mooch off of someone, I don't know how people can do that and not feel bad about it.

 

She does need to get smarter with her spending, otherwise, she won't be able to get anything because of a crappy credit score.

After seeing the episode on Cheapskates and Big Spenders I was compelled to say something, and the something I must say is Carlena is sad and pathetic.  I know that that may sound harsh, but Carlena personifies the stereotype that many individuals and companies (sometimes secretly) feel or think about Black women, and that is that we are ALL lazy, irresponsible, don't pay our bills and will max out a credit card or get a loan and NOT pay it back.

 

That is upsetting to me because I AM a responsible Black woman.  I have sensed the feeling with some banks, credit unions and businesses of some individuals thinking......."I bet she will default".  I pay my bills on time and I have never defaulted on a loan or ANY of my responsiblities.  I guess I am fortunate that I DON'T feel the need to frivilously shop to validate myself.

 

Carlena needs to WAKE UP, she's young and this will and IS reflecting on her credit, which will hurt her later in Life and the years to come.  She sat there on TV laughing like this was all a big joke...........but she will be crying in the end.  Dr. Phil was right to inform her that what she is doing is LITERALLY stealing..............Carlena, it's known as "Defrauding the innkeeper".  Don't let what you are doing send you to jail.  It is time for you to GET BACK in touch with reality.  The REAL WORLD does NOT work that way.

Carlena I had NO idea what was in store for you when Dr. Phil brought you up for 'an important message', I was scared for you.  Back in the day I was a bit like you, but I got over it, luckily for me it was just a phaze and I realized quickly that material things, although they won't cheat on you or lie to you, they aren't where it's at, they are the shovel that digs your financial grave; Sure it's good to be secure and value a good quality life but you need to redefine that, the true riches I've found are free, it's not what humans have created so much as what humans have just let be.  Now when I look back at who I used to be, I can't beleive that I was so shallow and materialistic, you couldn't pay me to wear Ralph Lauren today,I dont' even OWN a TV, not because I can't afford it but because I dont' value it enough to spend a penny on it, in fact I'm with those that say 'KILL YOUR TV!' tv is just everywhere you go, why do you need to own one let alone 2?  Today I just payed my phone bill and it feel way better then if I had spent that money on some mass produced overpriced item that someone SLAVED away to make and made nothing in return for thier hard work.  I learned a lot from my materialisitic ways, it's just not where it's at, listen to your heart, get aquainted with Nature, that's where it's at. My things are also in storage and it's a nice one too, it's not easy trying to make it work but you just soldier on the best you can and as honestly as you can, maybe you've heard this already but I like it: "Do as ye wilt and it harm none'" not even yourself. You're not alone, you just needed a good attitude adjustment and it looks like Dr.Phil hooked you up with that one real good. Dr.Phil you are a gift to tv but also the entire world. I'm no stranger to attitude adjustments, life is humbling.

THAT GIRL HAS WAY MORE THINGS (OTHER THAN HER CLOTHES) THAT ARE NOT NEEDED IN LIFE THAT SHOULD BE ON THAT AUCTION SITE. SHE IS NOT EVEN GETTING RID OF HALF OF IT. OBVIOUSLY SHE MUST HAVE ENDED UP IN CONTROL OF WHAT STAYS AND GOES. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOLD BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT BACK HOME. (OTHER THAN WHAT IS NEEDED) .

I HAVE SEVERAL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT ARE KINDA LIKE HER, ONLY THE MONEY THEY OWE IS TO ME AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO PAY OTHER BILLS (SO THEY SAY) AND THEY PROMISE TO MAKE ME A PAYMENT NEXT MONTH, WELL NEXT MONTH NEVER COMES AND I DON'T HEAR FROM THEM UNTIL THEY NEED SOMETHING AGAIN.  AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE NEW THINGS THAT ARE WANTS NOT NEEDS BUT CAN'T PAY THERE DEBT HMMMMMM. I AM SURE CARLENA FALLS IN THIS CATAGOREY. WORST PART IS THAT THEY HAVE CONVINCED THEMSELVES THAT THEY ARE DOING NOTHING WRONG. HOW  SAD FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM.

what the real pitty here is she will kill her credit she will relly need later on in life, but many young people dont stop to think about having to pay for there things when they use a credit card, relly she is paying 10 times what the things she put on a credit card relly cost, like rent to owne but she will probley just end up filing a bankrupcie on all her credit cards,and in turn the credit card companies will pass the loss on to other people who pay there cards off by charging them a higher intrest rate on what they spend, so when any one thinks only the credators get hurt (nope not the creditors) but every one who happens to hold the same credit card thats who gets hurt they pay all the losses in the long run, creditors are not in business to get the short end of any stick, this is why some months you see a higher interest rate and others a lower rate being charged, its to make up for that companies losses, so relly people need to think like this if you cant pay for it dont buy it,

 

I didn't watch today's show but I will say that I cannot believe that some women will allow themselves to be controlled by their husbands in this manner.  I think Joe is a cheapskate, control freak and has no respect for his wife.  There is a difference between being financially responsible and being cheap!.  I don't think it's so much about their finances it's about that and him needing to have control.   Katie you need to wake up and put your foot down!!!  You shouldn't have to feel that you have to stay in this marriage because you have no where to go.  You have family 6 hours a way that's not far away.   Katie get yourself a job, open up a bank account in which he has no knowledge or access to the money and save as much as you can, and you give him a ultimatum either he changes his attitude and gives you access to the finances or you're leaving him.  You are not alone and your family can help you.   Get your self-respect and your life back.  I read that you had a job and supported yourself before you married this jerk so you can do the same once again.  The most important thing a woman can be is financially and emotionally independent.  People will keep kicking you in the behind if you keep bending over and allowing it.   Joe you need to get a wake up call and stop treating your wife like a child.  She is your partner and you are not her father.  You are going to lose your wife one of these days.

 

 

Carlena is a misguided, self-centered person who like many young people want to live above the crack of their behinds when they really can't afford to do it.   She is immature and has no idea of what it is to manage their money correctly and live within her means.  Her mother should have stopped enabling her a long time ago but I guess better late than never.  Instead of digging a deeper hole and keep spending,  She should be pounding the pavement looking for a job so that you can be independent, and pay off your bills, rent, and necessities.  When I was working I didn't make much but I always made sure I paid my household bills first like phone, electric, cable, food first before I did anything else.   What's the point of looking good and  wearing the latest styles when you can't even afford to pay your rent, or have any food in the refrigerator.  

 

Reality is going to hit you when you start working and might as well send you entire paycheck to creditors? or try to find your own apartment and they look at your credit report and you can't get anyone to rent to you.  Being in debt is very stressful and takes a lot out of you I know because I've been there and trust me I've learned my lesson and how to better manage my money.   We all work hard and somtimes don't earn enough money, etc.  but you must realize that when you can't afford it, you can't plain and simple. 

You are obviously only looking at half of the picture.  The brand of peanut butter she buys is not the issue, only a representation of the fact that he controls every aspect of their lives.  Please tell me why she should shop at goodwill for clothing when he can buy a motorcycle, 4 wheeler, etc.  These are far from necessities.  The point is HE makes the decisions about what is valuable for BOTH of them (and I venture to guess the "anniversay present" was not on HER wish list so how dare he pass off his indulgence as a ""gift"" to them).  It appears to me his "frugality" applys only to his wife and when he wants to indulge himself he can find a way to justify it.  

 

When a marriage isn't a partnership with respect for anothers feelings and values it is not worth having.  I learned that lesson the hard way, perhaps you will too.

I don't think the issue is so much the money as the CONTROL. How can you say Go Joe! when he has spent thousands of dollars on play vehicles? The spending of discretionary funds should be a shared decision between spouses.

you're right this isn't about money...its about control.  Joe controls the purse strings so he controls Katie.  What gives him the right to a motorcycle, dirtbike and an ATV and deny Katie new clothes for herself and their children. 

Katie should leave him with the children and file for a divorce.  a tape of the show should be all she needs to prove mental cruelty.  I hope she lives in a community property state like Arizona where it doesn't matter whose name is on it. Everything is 50/50.