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Topic : Online Dating

Number of Replies: 1529
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:08:34 pm
Author : dataimport
Looking to meet someone online? Or have you met the love of your life on the net already? Share the good, the bad and the ugly of online dating.

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July 23, 2005, 5:11 am CDT

not sure about on lline dating

i have been divorced for almost a year and being single sucks. I'm not exactly looking for a husband again, at least not any time soon. but i would love to find someone to just go out with and have fun. i have thought about trying the on-line dating thing, i even have friends who have met on line. but i am completely terrified that I'll end up with some freak that ends up being nothing but a pervert.
 
July 23, 2005, 8:43 am CDT

Use Common Sense

i have been divorced for almost a year and being single sucks. I'm not exactly looking for a husband again, at least not any time soon. but i would love to find someone to just go out with and have fun. i have thought about trying the on-line dating thing, i even have friends who have met on line. but i am completely terrified that I'll end up with some freak that ends up being nothing but a pervert.
Rather than being afraid of online dating try just thinking of it as another avenue.  You still have to use the same common sense and intuition you would in any other way to meet people. It actually can be a good way to get as much information as you think you need to feel comfortable before you see someone in person.   That is if you use the services that provide confidentiality rather than just trying to talk to people in chat rooms. Good luck.
 
July 23, 2005, 8:34 pm CDT

Online Love Can be found

Hello

     My name is Amber, and contrary to what everyone thinks about online love especially the ones found in chat rooms... it can be real and it can be done.

I found my true love last year in October and we fell in love online and met shortly after.... I know every aspect of his life and he knows every aspect of mine... including my two children and he loves them more than their own biological fathers do.... I just wanted to say to those who are out there wondering if Online Love can actually happen that it does and its real but you do have to be very careful.... we talked on the phone for a few months before we met in person... He came up here first to meet my family and then I went down to where he lives to meet his family.... both families love the person coming to them ( him into my family and Me into his ) along with my kids.... just dont doubt yourself as far as online companions go because it can happen even if you talk to the person for years and years before you meet or for a few weeks or months it does work.... Good Luck to those who are willing to try and keep an open yet cautious mind when looking for that "perfect guy or woman" for you...

Signed Found love online

 
July 24, 2005, 7:37 am CDT

Hello all.....

I was passing through and saw this topic.... I had a blast with online dating...I never dated so much or so many differnet guys! I'm not saying that all were gems. You have to be cautious....talk for a long time on line, then use the phone...then meet for a coffee, something short term that either can get out of if it isn't working for you!!! I have been with the same man for almost 3 years, we met on line..our obstacle is distanct right now...we have approx. 300 miles between us...time will tell what happens. We talk daily and see each other at least once a month. Using caution, it does open up a lot more doors. Have fun with it.
 
July 24, 2005, 8:08 am CDT

Been there - done that!!

i have been divorced for almost a year and being single sucks. I'm not exactly looking for a husband again, at least not any time soon. but i would love to find someone to just go out with and have fun. i have thought about trying the on-line dating thing, i even have friends who have met on line. but i am completely terrified that I'll end up with some freak that ends up being nothing but a pervert.

Hi,

I also have been divorced but it will be 2 years in December. I tried on - line dating services...and to me it's a crock of crap.

You don't say how old you are or where you live which does make a big difference. I am 58 but look younger than that, thank God.....I live in NY...........

I met 3 men thru 2 different dating sites...........one I met for coffee, seemed like a very nice man, attractive, worked locally and he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner the following weekend, said, yes and then he said he'd call me.........got sick during the week and one night took my phone off the hook and went to bed early. He got mad that I did that and said so in an email and never contacted me again. Another man, we wrote emails for a month, then spoke on  the phone for a month.........he knew me pretty well and I also thought I knew him........he came to my house and we went out to dinner.............after dinner, he expected me to sleep with him, Don't think so!!! Met another guy..........we emailed for awhile, I went on vacation for a month, he called all the time,he seemed to know me better than I knew myself.............when I got back, we met the next day for coffee and sat and talked for over 2 hours.........I invited him to my home for our annual July 4th. party........he came early, brought a nice gift........helped cook, clean up, was very attentive. He was the last to leave and I walked him to his car in our driveway.....he hugged me and said what a wonderful time he had, loved my family and friends, and said he felt as if he knew everyone a long time and asked if he could call the next day which was Sunday................well, he never called, I was fuming inside but I wasn't go to call him. On Tuesday, my daughter and I were lying by the pool and talking..............well Guess What??..............on one of his trips inside my house to use the bathroom, one time, my daughter was in the kitchen making drinks in the blender...............HE MADE A PASS AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I emailed that evening and told him exactly what I thought of him and that he had some nerve making a pass at my daughter, etc., etc...........he wrote back and said he never did.....................

After that, I'm off all dating sites.............if God wants me to meet another man, then I will, but if not, that's okay too.............for I have to be happy with me first cause no man can give that to me...

Another reason the dating sites are a crock, when I was going thru my divorce, I checked out 2 dating sites just to see what it was like.................my soon to be ex-husband was on one of them, he had put up professional pictures and all he wrote in his profile were lies.............So after that, and the experiences meeting tthe 3 men, it's not worth my time.................there are a lot of men who are on many sites, but have slightly different pictures, use a different username, and change what they say in each profile.....and I'm sure women out there do the same.............

You say you are terrified that you end up with a pervert..............you're right............you never, ever know who you're talking to..............you take a chance when meeting a man.........Not for me anymore...........

As the author of the book "He's just not that into you"...........he states in the book and on one of Oprahs' shows...........all men, no matter what age, just want to get laid...........until they meet the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with..........and you know what, he's 100% right.......all the men, whether 18, 30, 50 or 70, they just want to hop in the sack.............been there done that....................not for me and certainly not in this day and age where there's Aids.........no thank you.

Maybe I will meet someone, maybe not..........but either way, my life still goes on..............and so will yours...........

 
July 24, 2005, 11:27 am CDT

Online Dating

Hi,

I also have been divorced but it will be 2 years in December. I tried on - line dating services...and to me it's a crock of crap.

You don't say how old you are or where you live which does make a big difference. I am 58 but look younger than that, thank God.....I live in NY...........

I met 3 men thru 2 different dating sites...........one I met for coffee, seemed like a very nice man, attractive, worked locally and he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner the following weekend, said, yes and then he said he'd call me.........got sick during the week and one night took my phone off the hook and went to bed early. He got mad that I did that and said so in an email and never contacted me again. Another man, we wrote emails for a month, then spoke on the phone for a month.........he knew me pretty well and I also thought I knew him........he came to my house and we went out to dinner.............after dinner, he expected me to sleep with him, Don't think so!!! Met another guy..........we emailed for awhile, I went on vacation for a month, he called all the time,he seemed to know me better than I knew myself.............when I got back, we met the next day for coffee and sat and talked for over 2 hours.........I invited him to my home for our annual July 4th. party........he came early, brought a nice gift........helped cook, clean up, was very attentive. He was the last to leave and I walked him to his car in our driveway.....he hugged me and said what a wonderful time he had, loved my family and friends, and said he felt as if he knew everyone a long time and asked if he could call the next day which was Sunday................well, he never called, I was fuming inside but I wasn't go to call him. On Tuesday, my daughter and I were lying by the pool and talking..............well Guess What??..............on one of his trips inside my house to use the bathroom, one time, my daughter was in the kitchen making drinks in the blender...............HE MADE A PASS AT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I emailed that evening and told him exactly what I thought of him and that he had some nerve making a pass at my daughter, etc., etc...........he wrote back and said he never did.....................

After that, I'm off all dating sites.............if God wants me to meet another man, then I will, but if not, that's okay too.............for I have to be happy with me first cause no man can give that to me...

Another reason the dating sites are a crock, when I was going thru my divorce, I checked out 2 dating sites just to see what it was like.................my soon to be ex-husband was on one of them, he had put up professional pictures and all he wrote in his profile were lies.............So after that, and the experiences meeting tthe 3 men, it's not worth my time.................there are a lot of men who are on many sites, but have slightly different pictures, use a different username, and change what they say in each profile.....and I'm sure women out there do the same.............

You say you are terrified that you end up with a pervert..............you're right............you never, ever know who you're talking to..............you take a chance when meeting a man.........Not for me anymore...........

As the author of the book "He's just not that into you"...........he states in the book and on one of Oprahs' shows...........all men, no matter what age, just want to get laid...........until they meet the woman they want to spend the rest of their lives with..........and you know what, he's 100% right.......all the men, whether 18, 30, 50 or 70, they just want to hop in the sack.............been there done that....................not for me and certainly not in this day and age where there's Aids.........no thank you.

Maybe I will meet someone, maybe not..........but either way, my life still goes on..............and so will yours...........

You go girl. I've had my profile on a few sites and all I get is old men that look like they can be my dad. I'm 44 but don't look it, feel it, or for that matter act it. I take care of my self health wise. And my profile says that I'm a health nut. The ones that reply to me are over wt and look so unhealthy. I just don't get it. Like the book, He's just not that into you, says..."don't waste the pretty."
 
July 24, 2005, 5:31 pm CDT

have reasonable expectations

From a male perspective, I'd suggest women to try on-line dating with an open mind.  First of all, it's hard to understand how someone can "fall in love" without ever meeting someone--love is all interaction and all you get out of e-mails is typing and writing practice.  So keep that in mind when you size up a guy who begins corresponding with you.  My experience is that women often falsely advertise themselves.  I'll take you all's word about guys doing the same thing.  That is why I promote meeting informally as soon as possible.  At a coffee house, restaurant bar, wherever.  Just do that in a safe pulic place where you can drive away without feeling like you are being followed.  Not all men who post on-line profiles are "perverts".  If you allow yourself to think that way, you are really going to limit the men you might meet and therefore reduce your chances to find a compatible partner. 

 

Just be up front with the guy.  On the first date, if he asks "how's things going so far?" and you are turned off, don't put out warm fuzzies.  Also, don't fall in love with him immediately by painting a romantic image of who you "think" the guy is.  You are probably wrong; there is no way to get to know someone that intimately in a couple of hours.

 

It's also interesting how a man is labelled a "pervert" when he makes unwanted sexual advances or flirts with other women.  How about when a woman exhibits the same behavior with guys?  Should I consider her to be a slut?  No, I think not.  It's important for a woman to be extra careful more so than a man, of course.

 

So to conclude, if you are single and not dating as often as you like, why not try on-line dating?  Finding a suitable partner is really a numbers game, so why not put the numbers game in your favor?  Just be realistic with your expectations after a couple of e-mails.  And meet as soon as possible--I find that eliminates pretenses by both parties. 

 
July 24, 2005, 6:43 pm CDT

Iceman5 is right

I've done on-line dating and have had good success.  Now that is not to say that there weren't men that turned out to be not what I expected but that can happen no matter how you meet someone.   I met a man in a chat room that I ended up dating for 5 years and we are still very good friends.  The man I am currently dating I met through an on-line dating service.  We starting talking on a Monday and met for the first time that Wednesday and have now been together for 4 months. 

 

The first serious relationship I had was with someone I met at work - he turned out to be an alcoholic who cheated every chance he got.  My ex-husband I met through my sister and he turned out to be a cheater who also had a drinking problem.  The man I met on-line never cheated on me, held a great job and loved my kids - our problem was we could never seem to get in the same state (he was military when we met and then did government contracting which had him all over the USA).  The man I'm dating now is wonderful, caring, considerate, respectful, affectionate, faithful and is wonderful with my kids.

 

Iceman is right that you have to go into it with realistic expectations.  On-line dating is simply a different venue of how to meet people.  You should meet as soon as possible so you don't build someone up to be something that they really aren't.   It's like a blind date with a little bit more information that you may have otherwise.

 
July 26, 2005, 2:54 pm CDT

Looking in Oklahoma

i am a 37 year old never married woman who is tired of being used by men.  The town in which i live is full of "dead-beat men (men who are drug addicts, acholotics, child molesters), My family has lived here since the 1800's..What ever happended to "courtship"?...is it dead?, examples:  opening doors for women, bringing flowers, talking and getting to know each other first...(before sex).  I also have a physical handicapp (cp)....I want men to know this one thing:  JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A PHYSICAL HANDICAPP, DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM DEAD!!!! I HAVE NEEDS AND FEELINGS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

In closing, How come Dr. Phil has never done a show on People with physiccal handicapps and dating

 

 
July 28, 2005, 1:16 pm CDT

Open Minds and Honesty

 

I have found that the best way to go into an online or even a blind date (set up) situation is to have an open mind and use total honesty..... heres a hint for you ladies and gents out there...... if the person you are talking to refuses to answer a simple question like "have you ever been married" or soemthing important like that then they are not being totally honest with you and it is a good thing if you walk away.... TOTAL HONESTY is REQUIRED when your doing the online dating scene... if you cant be honest then dont get on the online dating sites and LIE because you want to get some kicks. Life has a funny way of throwing ppl together when they least expect it.........

     I in a very freak conversation found the man of my dreams and the only reason that we are still together is because we have TOTAL honesty with each other. i know ALL about his life and he knows ALL about mine includeing my kids who he adores as much as he would his own if he had any... we are planning on getting married very soon and we love each other VERY much and I cant wait to start our life together.... We only have one more problem to solve.... he is in Louisiana and I am in Ontario Canada.... if any of you have an idea on how we can be together legally PLEASE feel free to leave me a message. Thanks very much.

Signed DrMomto2

 
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