Topic : Online Dating

You sound like you are really hurting and for that I am sorry. Even though it was an affair it doesn't take away the hurt you must feel inside. Your going through a break-up and even on a break-up where there are no affairs is very hard. I hope you give yourself the time to grieve over the loss and with time learn to let go of him. It wouldn't be fair if you talked with his wife because you knew he was married. I'm sure he is paying the price for this much more than you realize. Were all human and we make mistakes. Your mistake has proved to be very painful for you and I hope you just forgive yourself and him and move on. Allow yourself the time to let the anger go and make peace with yourself. Life is short and you sound like a very caring and compassionate person so take that and find your contentment and happiness with someone who can give it back to you and this time the whole world can know about it! Let this go and find the strength to resist his calls or emails. You owe it to yourself to a happy marriage of your own!!! This married man doesn't deserve you today and not ever. If you can't move past this then I strongly recommend counseling to help you sort this out and help you deal and cope with what this is doing to you. I wish you the best of luck and do what's best for you and your future. 

I am with you.  I met the love of my life almost a year ago, online.  And I thank God everyday that goes by.  He and I just fit together wonderfully.  I've never been happier in my entire life.  I honestly feel like hes the one I was made for.  We get along great.  Never fight and love each other more then words can say.  This is our first Christmas together, and we are both looking forward to this holiday and many many more in our future.   

If it wasnt for the internet we may have never met.  And when I think of that, it makes me very sad to think that we would have never found each other. 

I agree with some about having to be very careful who you meet online, but there are some happy endings to online dating, also.  We just need to hear more about them, rather then all the bad that has come from online dating.  I feel very lucky to have found him on the internet.  If I hadn't of, I would more then likely still be a lonely, miserable woman. 

Thanks for listening to some good things about online dating. 

Thanks for the kind words, but I'm the wrong person.  I'm not the one who had the affair, mine was a response to the person that did.   

Kind words though! 

If a man is frightened by children, he isn't much of a man. Do you want a man in your life, or another child? Most profiles on dating sites show if you have children, and most women over 21 or so have a few, so don't worry about it. Not posting your picture can greatly hurt your chances of meeting someone. I won't talk to women without a photo because I have to know if there will be enough physical attraction to build a loving relationship on. That is the way it normally works in the real world. The problem is a lot of people post 10 or 15 year old pictures. Honesty and integrity have disappeared from America. Many of the people out there are really flaky, so be very careful, screen thoroughly, and good luck. 

I think people have always had difficulty with honest & integrity when they lack confidence.  The key is finding the people who believe they are worth it and will tell you so by their honest treatment of you. 

Other than that, I totally agree--posting without a picture or without honest answers is telling your date that one values themselves more than anything.  Telling a lie or being deceitful is one of the worst ways to start a date! 

I have been online dating for awhile and I find that the best way to find something out is to ask.  If you feel funny asking for his number then just ask if he would like to talk on the phone sometime and let him take it from there.  It has been my experience that they usually do want to talk on the phone but are waiting for you to bring it up.  If you have been talking to him for awhile and feel you should progress to the next step of phone then you should trust your feelings.  Also, it is a good way to find out if he is serious or not.   As far as how personal do you go.....that is something you can only decide.  Don't go any farther than you are comfortable with.  Good luck