Topic : Online Dating

Alright the unexpected just happened!!! My ex called a bit ago and I haven't seen him in a year! He asked if he could come over this evening to just visit and talk!!! I was shocked! I'm so stupid and said sure when do you want to come over? Oh god he will be here in about an hour! I lived with him for 7 years and he hurt me really bad! It took me 2yrs. to heal from that broken heart! My friends and family would die if they knew he was coming over! I really loved this guy and still do. I don't know what he possibly wants from me or why he would even want to see me! I know one look at him and I am butter! I have always been this way with him! and the thing is he knows it! Ok I have to realize the hurt this man put me through and keep my guard up and don't dare let it down! I shouldn't even let him come over on such a whim! Why didn't I tell him no or you can come over another day! I know he has no true intentions with me or he wouldn't of hurt me so darn bad! Well I better gear myself down here and find out what he really wants! 

Cindy in Cali 

Oh sharon that's too bad! Online dating can get like that and I think it's a good idea to hide your profile when you feel like that. I have done it several times! I am meeting a new guy saturday afternoon. I've been talking with him for about a month. Twice now I have backed out on meeting him. I have no idea why either??? He's very handsome on his profile and has an excellent profile, you just never know though until you meet. I want to give you a little encouragement here! Ok if you hang in here with online dating when your ready for it you will someday meet someone! I can tell you it's really a great feeling to finally meet someone and start dating again! I have met 2 men that I dated for awhile after I met them online. We had some great times but unfortunately it just didn't work out for us. I hate to say this but I think I was on the rebound and now though I am ready for a dating relationship with someone that I could take things to the next level. It took me a long time to get to that point. I hope things work out for you sharon and you find all you are looking for!  

My ex came over last night and guess what? I didn't melt like butter and I felt nothing for him at all! It was wierd. He just wanted to talk and find out what has been happening in my life and see how my kids were. He wanted to share some things with me about how much he has changed his life. He was at my house for a couple of hrs. and when he went to leave he hugged me for awhile and gave me 2 kisses on my lips! It did nothing to me at all where as before I would of been all over that! I think he was surprised on how I didn't go for him and tell him how much I love him. He had a real confused look on his face when he walked away from my door. I was so hurt by him that I couldn't put myself or my kids through that emotional turmoil again! I think I'll stick to moving on with my life without him.,.. I am loving my life right now and looking forward to another relationship but this time I want one that will last a lifetime! 

Cindy in cali 

Oh sharon that's too bad! Online dating can get like that and I think it's a good idea to hide your profile when you feel like that. I have done it several times! I am meeting a new guy saturday afternoon. I've been talking with him for about a month. Twice now I have backed out on meeting him. I have no idea why either??? He's very handsome on his profile and has an excellent profile, you just never know though until you meet. I want to give you a little encouragement here! Ok if you hang in here with online dating when your ready for it you will someday meet someone! I can tell you it's really a great feeling to finally meet someone and start dating again! I have met 2 men that I dated for awhile after I met them online. We had some great times but unfortunately it just didn't work out for us. I hate to say this but I think I was on the rebound and now though I am ready for a dating relationship with someone that I could take things to the next level. It took me a long time to get to that point. I hope things work out for you sharon and you find all you are looking for!  

My ex came over last night and guess what? I didn't melt like butter and I felt nothing for him at all! It was wierd. He just wanted to talk and find out what has been happening in my life and see how my kids were. He wanted to share some things with me about how much he has changed his life. He was at my house for a couple of hrs. and when he went to leave he hugged me for awhile and gave me 2 kisses on my lips! It did nothing to me at all where as before I would of been all over that! I think he was surprised on how I didn't go for him and tell him how much I love him. He had a real confused look on his face when he walked away from my door. I was so hurt by him that I couldn't put myself or my kids through that emotional turmoil again! I think I'll stick to moving on with my life without him.,.. I am loving my life right now and looking forward to another relationship but this time I want one that will last a lifetime! 

Cindy in cali 

From a male perspective, I'd suggest women to try on-line dating with an open mind.  First of all, it's hard to understand how someone can "fall in love" without ever meeting someone--love is all interaction and all you get out of e-mails is typing and writing practice.  So keep that in mind when you size up a guy who begins corresponding with you.  My experience is that women often falsely advertise themselves.  I'll take you all's word about guys doing the same thing.  That is why I promote meeting informally as soon as possible.  At a coffee house, restaurant bar, wherever.  Just do that in a safe pulic place where you can drive away without feeling like you are being followed.  Not all men who post on-line profiles are "perverts".  If you allow yourself to think that way, you are really going to limit the men you might meet and therefore reduce your chances to find a compatible partner. 

Just be up front with the guy.  On the first date, if he asks "how's things going so far?" and you are turned off, don't put out warm fuzzies.  Also, don't fall in love with him immediately by painting a romantic image of who you "think" the guy is.  You are probably wrong; there is no way to get to know someone that intimately in a couple of hours.

It's also interesting how a man is labelled a "pervert" when he makes unwanted sexual advances or flirts with other women.  How about when a woman exhibits the same behavior with guys?  Should I consider her to be a slut?  No, I think not.  It's important for a woman to be extra careful more so than a man, of course.

So to conclude, if you are single and not dating as often as you like, why not try on-line dating?  Finding a suitable partner is really a numbers game, so why not put the numbers game in your favor?  Just be realistic with your expectations after a couple of e-mails.  And meet as soon as possible--I find that eliminates pretenses by both parties. 

Well I went and met the guy I met on match! I knew I would like this man and boy did I ever! he was so damn good looking and oh so nice! I clammed up like a clam in a shell and was tongued tied! I couldn't think of anything to say! When he walked up to me in that parking lot and gave me a hug I about fell over! We went in this little restaurant and walked up to the counter and got a cup of coffee my hands were shaking so bad that the coffee spilt out of my cup!!!! I don't know what the heck was wrong with me today! But I was nervous about meeting him when I first woke up this morning! I feel like this little teeny bopper who gets her first crush on a guy! This is really the first guy I was completely impressed by and that actually looked like the man in his pics he looked better than his pictures! I was sitting there on this couch with him stuggling with words, I was like dah??? After sitting there for awhile and struggling  I ask him if he wants to come over to my place and talk more!!!! He jumps right up and says yes lets go! What a jackass I am! You don't have someone over to your place like that! He follows me to my house and boy was he checking everything out! I got a little more comfortable but not enough to where I could just be myself! We talked for a little more and then he left! he says he wants to plan a real date with me. God I don't know if I could actually go on a date with him if I'm gonna act this way! I haven't been this attracted to a guy since I met my ex-husband! God I feel like an ass! really you guys should of seen me! I am never that nervous or that quiet! I knew by talking to him on the phone and looking at his pictures that I would feel this way when I met him! i had to go pee pee so bad and when I went to the bathroom I couldn't even pee!!!!! I feel like the girl who just fell in love with donny osmond! I don't really think he liked me all that well, you know how you just get that hunch about someone when you meet them. We had talked so much on the phone and I think he just felt comfy to come to my house. I'll probably never hear from the man again but I will never forget the way I felt when I first saw him standing there! Have you guys ever had this experience before???? I'm seeing stars! I swear I am! God it's just a guy I met online!!!  

Cindy in Cali 

Well I went and met the guy I met on match! I knew I would like this man and boy did I ever! he was so damn good looking and oh so nice! I clammed up like a clam in a shell and was tongued tied! I couldn't think of anything to say! When he walked up to me in that parking lot and gave me a hug I about fell over! We went in this little restaurant and walked up to the counter and got a cup of coffee my hands were shaking so bad that the coffee spilt out of my cup!!!! I don't know what the heck was wrong with me today! But I was nervous about meeting him when I first woke up this morning! I feel like this little teeny bopper who gets her first crush on a guy! This is really the first guy I was completely impressed by and that actually looked like the man in his pics he looked better than his pictures! I was sitting there on this couch with him stuggling with words, I was like dah??? After sitting there for awhile and struggling  I ask him if he wants to come over to my place and talk more!!!! He jumps right up and says yes lets go! What a jackass I am! You don't have someone over to your place like that! He follows me to my house and boy was he checking everything out! I got a little more comfortable but not enough to where I could just be myself! We talked for a little more and then he left! he says he wants to plan a real date with me. God I don't know if I could actually go on a date with him if I'm gonna act this way! I haven't been this attracted to a guy since I met my ex-husband! God I feel like an ass! really you guys should of seen me! I am never that nervous or that quiet! I knew by talking to him on the phone and looking at his pictures that I would feel this way when I met him! i had to go pee pee so bad and when I went to the bathroom I couldn't even pee!!!!! I feel like the girl who just fell in love with donny osmond! I don't really think he liked me all that well, you know how you just get that hunch about someone when you meet them. We had talked so much on the phone and I think he just felt comfy to come to my house. I'll probably never hear from the man again but I will never forget the way I felt when I first saw him standing there! Have you guys ever had this experience before???? I'm seeing stars! I swear I am! God it's just a guy I met online!!!  

Cindy in Cali