Topic : Online Dating

Dr. Phil used to advertise for an online dating service.  Does anybody know which one it was?  Was it match.com, matchmaker.com, eharmony?  I've read really bad reviews of eharmony. 

 

anyone have any suggestions for a legitimate online dating service?

I've had my fair share of bad experiences with online dating. One man took advantage of my trust, another practically stalked me for a long time, to the point where I could not be his friend. But over four years of online dating has taught me that it is possible. I've been on-and-off long distance with my current boyfriend. Our distance is a small conflict in the long-scale of things, and soon we're certain we will be together for good.

 

My point is that sometimes there's heartbreak, but isn't there always? The risk is the same on the internet as it is in the "real" world, and the rewards (or consequences) are just as good.

you look 44.  Why  do  so many people have a self perception that they look younger? You look at least 44 IMO

 I think the previous poster does look 44, but there's nothing wrong with that.  I'm 47 and am told I look younger, but it doesn't matter either way if you feel attractive and have special people in your life.

As far as online dating goes, I'm done with it myself.  I did it off/on for almost 2 years with only heartbreak and disappointment.  I agree that you can be hurt in regular dating as much as with online dating, but the difference should be that only men actually seeking a relationship should be online or have a profile.  If they are married, separated or otherwise "not available", then they have no business toying with someone's mind/emotions.  That is the problem I ran into with online dating.  Too many men were simply game players or they were not over a previous relationship or marriage.  They weren't honest with themselves or with the women they met via the dating sites. 

I personally think the e-harmony commercials are guilty of false advertising.  I simpy believe there are many more thousands of people who have horrible outcomes due to their services than ones who actually meet the man or woman of their dreams.  It's misleading at best and is expensive to boot.  I also believe that a long-term relationship isn't likely to survive in a long-distance situation.  I think it can work, but I think the odds are great for it to eventually end due to the time/distance it takes to maintain such a relationship.

I am now dating a guy who lives locally.  He is not prince charming nor is he without his faults, but because we both live within blocks of each other, we have been able to get to know each other more fully and appreciate each others' qualities.  We each have our faults as well.  No one is absolutely perfect for someone else.  If you really believe that all couples should end up like the ads on e-harmony, then you are not dealing with reality.  I think even Dr. Phil would agree with that. 

Being a quiet individual who loves to work and run, I had little time to go out and meet a quality individual.  Going to bars is just not for me since I don't drink.  So I turned to online dating.  At first, it was horrible.  I met a guy who never been to a restaraunt (didn't even know how to order off the menu), another who took me looking for deer when it was about 20 degrees out along a highway while I had no jacket at the time (so when I said I was cold he just said "I'm not I got this nice new jacket" and never offered me it!), another who hit a tennis ball at my head because he was angry about work (so I just smacked one right back at him -- it pays to be an atheletic woman!), another who didn't like me because I believed in God (he was an atheist), another one didn't like me because I am so successful in my job, another one said he doesn't change his socks for a week (he liked how they smelled), yet another one gave me chocolate covered cherries and asked for them back at the end of the date because I would not sleep with him (I took them anyway and shared them with my friends), and the stories continue.  If you want to hear more just let me know.

But finally, in October of 2006 I met a wonderful guy through match.com.  I was hesitant at first because he lived in WV and I live in PA.  That is a far drive!  But he said he would drive up to meet me if I wished to do so.    We met at a local mall and from then on we have been together.  He found a job here in Pa and an apartment.  In February of 2007 he asked me to marry him.  We are now planning our wedding in Augustu of this year.  Many people think we are brother and sister because we look so nice together and others want to know our secret because we get along so well.

So keep an open mind when meeting people and if you don't really like them, just sit back and try not to laugh.  It is all part of the fun of online dating.  The more people you meet, the more you know exactly what you want and don't want in a mate.  I obviously figured out quick I wanted a guy who changed his socks everyday and not once a week!  Just remember to be safe and let people know who you are with and where you will be.  And ALWAYS meet somewhere public and NEVER at anyones private home.  Good luck!

I personally found love online and wasn't even looking.  I met my husband about 9 years ago in a place called Virtual Places.  It was the best thing that ever happened to me.  We knew each other for close to a year and a half before we met.  Once we met face to face that was it...it was true love.  We married in February of 2001. 

 

It can happen, people just need to use common sense when meeting people face to face. 

You are so right!  It isn't all the time that your true soulmate is living close by, case in point, mine lived on the other side of the world. 

I put put in here that it is my belief that corresponding/talking on the phone/instant messaging is NOT the same as meeting face to face.  I could not recommend that someone invest that kind of time in someone they haven't even met yet.  So much is lacking when you have not spent in time with the person in the flesh.  Even a photo is not the same as meeting someone because photos are sometimes misleading.  I'm glad things worked out for you, but I would not go a year without meeting someone.  That is just too risky for a lot of people.  Also, the odds are high for one or the other person to simply "ghost" on the other person.  If you read some of the online dating web sites, you will find that that is a common thing that happens with online dating.  It happend to me, although I didn't have many months invested with any one guy.  Men oftentimes have no manners when they are supposedly "seeking a relationship".  If a guy can't keep up his end of the deal, then his word means nothing.  He may or may not call later.  It's a crapshoot at best.  That's why I say that I'm leary of online dating sites now and would never use one again.  There are just too many players/users who get a kick out of toying with women's emotions.  I'm sure there are women who are just as bad, but the stories I've heard are usually the men being jerks to the women.

If this guy is not even in the same country as you, why waste your time on him?  You said yourself that he has sent you a flirt or instant message through your "fake" profile.  And why, may I ask, would you stoop to having a "fake" profile?  Were you really trying to catch him in a lie?  So, now you know.  He's trolling for other women.  It's not worth your time or the heartache to worry with this man further.  I also think you have some questions to ask yourself if you feel the need to lie about having another profile online yourself.  Sort of like the pot calling the kettle black, huh?

      I have been "dating"  the same man online for almost two and a half years.  I've also been harangued, harrassed, teased, and insulted because of it, right from the beginning.  At the time, I was married, and madly in love with my husband, who was so obviously no longer in love with me and no longer wanted the life we had built together.  Initially I went online for fun, for something to do to keep my mind off the fact that my marriage was falling apart before my eyes, and yes, because I was so lonely.  After chatting breifly with a lot of jerks, I met Andy.  We started talking, really talking almost from the start, and have been in each others lives pretty much ever since.  I have now been divorced for a year and a half, and still talk to Andy almost every day.  He's wonderfully supportive, very funny, and never fails to bring a smile to my face.  He's understanding when I have to get offline to spend time with my kids, or do homework (since the divorce I've resumed college full time!), or take care of my offline life.  Andy lives in England, I live in the US, yet the ocean between us doesn't stop us from loving, or needing, or depending on each other.  We are here when anything comes up that we may need to get off our chests, we're here when we're lonely or just bored, we understand each other, and it's a constant comfort.  I see our online relationship as the answer to my prayers.  I'm in no way ready to get married again, and I don't know that I ever will be.  I don't want a man living in my house, asking me to compromise even the slightest little thing about me or the way I live, trying to be a parent to my children.  I'm not looking for that.  However, I do need that personal attention that comes from spending time with someone who knows and understands me, I do need a "significant other" to bounce ideas off from, or to get an opinion from on matters that come up, I definitely want a male perspective for some things, and as I'm raising two beautiful little boys, it's nice to be able to ask Andy things that a "girl" just might not have a clue about!  This relationship will most likely never be an offline thing, but why should people ridicule me for loving what Andy and I share?  What makes this different from having a pen-pal, someone who is acquainted with the intimate details of my life, someone who cares about me, and looks forward to talking to me as I look forward to talking to him?  What is the issue that people are having with Andy and I taking happiness in a forum that has virtually no risk?  By that I mean, if either of us were to "cheat", who cares?  If one of us decided to blow an entire paycheck on...I don't know...jelly beans, so what?  Andy's personal decisions offline don't affect my life, or my childrens lives, as my offline decisions don't affect his, that's the beauty of it.  It's safe, and we like it that way.