Topic : Ready for Marriage?

well it is similar  

but not totally the same situation 

i have a 7yr old son and sometime he can be a handful  

it seems that when me and him are alone he tends to have a smart mouth and a problem obeying me  

when the 3 of us are together he is pretty good and doesn't do that  

congrats on the engagement  

i have been with my b/f for almost 3 yrs and not engaged yet or living together  

how long have you been dating your fiance? 

First off, I have to ask why you're with your current boyfriend, is it only for your son?  It sounds to me like you're only lying to your current boyfriend and yourself if you stay in a relationship that you don't really want to be in.  This is a self destruction behavior, why would you love someone so much who broke your heart so badly.  Do you feel like you need his approval, do you need someone who treats you badly in order to feel like you're in a real relationship.  It sounds like you're only in your current relationship because you didn't want to be alone, not because you're actually in love with him.  First love can be wonderful because you're experiencing new feelings that you've never felt before, but you should remember your first heartbreak just as well because you need to learn from the first relationship and take that into your next relationship.  You obviously know that you should have moved on...my guess is that you're jealous because he's moved on and you think that he's happy with his fiance, while you're miserable.  Remember this, you have a seven month old son.  Obviously you cared enough about your current boyfriend to not use protection.  I would suggest that you seek counseling, so that you can get your current relationship back on track and your son won't suffer from this.  You may realize that you're much better off now than you were with your ex. 

First off, I think that my situation, in a way, is similar to yours.  My boyfriend and I have been in a serious, committed relationship for almost 3 years.  We're 26 and 27, respectively.  You have only been with this guy for 7 months.  Have you ever heard the saying, "Enjoy that first 6 months while it lasts because it will change after that."?  This is true to an extent.  As you grow more into your relationship, you become more comfortable around each other and tendencies that you would normally only have around your immediate family or close friends start to show (think: leaving your clothes on the floor, passing gas, etc.).  I can't understand why you're in such a hurry to rush into marriage, you should want to take some time and make sure that he's actually what you're looking for.  Do you even live together yet?  That can change a lot of things in a relationship.  My boyfriend and I had a difficult start adjusting at first (we moved in together about a year ago, I'm a neat freak - he's definitely not), but through it all, we've realized that we want to be in this relationship together.   

Your boyfriend must like you a lot...I haven't met very many guys who tell girls that they see them as a future life unless they're very serious about them (or big-time players looking to score - which doesn't appear to be the case here)...but that doesn't mean that he's ready to get married right away.  Everyone matures at a different rate...I had friends who got married a year out of high school, others who were having children during and right out of high school.  I always wanted to get on my feet first, get a career started, mature some before I took the leap.  Be happy that he doesn't want to rush right into marriage, most people that I know who've rushed into marriage have ended up in an unhappy relationship or in divorce court.  My boyfriend and I have discussed marriage on and off for some time now, but we realize that it's not the right time for either of us right now...that doesn't change our love for one another.  Marriage is only a piece of paper and a ring..if you don't have the basis for a good relationship, it won't help to make it better.  That said, if you do have a good relationship, give it some time and you may be pleasantly surprised.