Topic : Ready for Marriage?

Hi, I'm going crazy trying to figure this thing out and It's starting to drive me nuts.... I've been with by boyfriend for 6 years in Jan.  We talked about marriage and engagement and what that means to both of us.  Heres the problem I have set goals in my life that he is very aware of and I want to meet them because it will make me happy. I want to be married by 25 so I can then begin having a family and be done having my children before i'm 30.  I've just turned 24 so it getting to be chrunch time.  I don't want to have childern out of wedlock.  Although I don't care how long we are engaged but I feel it needs to happen soon.  I love him very much and feel that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He has always been there when I need him and he understands me most of the time he is a true friend and then some.  I know I probably am putting presure on him becasue he knows my life goal.. This is the issuse he says he loves me but he not sure if he ready.  What should I do if there is anything I can do at all or what?  I at times feel like I've wasted 6 years of my life for someone who is not sure, but at the same time I have grown and learned so much from this relationship.  I'm so confused can someone please help?????

I totally know how you are feeling. I'm sorry you are struggling with this issuse too.  I Wish I could read my guys feeling.  It's liked they are looked up and never coming out.  mine tells me he loves me, but i'm not sure if i'm ready.

well i have been in the situation you are in years ago  

i was with a guy for 6yrs engaged for 4 of them and we lived together  

do you live with your b/f? 

i have been with my fiance for almost 3yrs and we just got engaged the day after christmas 

we do not live together because he knows that i have been there and done that  

and never got married 

so i think after 6 yrs you need to ask yourself do you want to just date the man or marry him 

and if he still does not know then you might have to give him an ulltimatum 

i mean i was patient with my b/f  

but it has only been 2 1/2 yrs  

but we are planning on getting married this fall and getting a house 

  

not sure if that helped  

but it lets you know it has all happened to us at one time or another 

  

let me know 

after 5 yrs and he still can't say he loves you  

i mean come on  

if he does he does if not then move on  

why be with someone and pay allof the bills and groceries when he is not even thinking you are a couple 

i mean you buy groceries for the both of you and when he does it is just  for him  

that is not a b/f g/f relationship  

i think you need to end that  

and kick him  to the curb  

  

  

i agree as well  

 ithink you should stil invite the parents to the wedding  

i think you should sit down and talk with them before you get married  

i think however 18 is a little young to be getting married  

how old is your fiance? 

  

  

I understand how you feel. My bf was married before and I couldn't get over it for the longest time. I always compaired myself to her and was mad that he married he so soon (less than 4 months) and after 2 years and a baby, we are still not married. I felt like I wasn't as good as her, etc. I have gone to counseling and recently started taking antidepressant and that has helped me out a lot. I would suggest going to counseling. It will help. Also, it will get better with time.

I just started to read "Love Smart" and I wanted to know what others thought of this book. So far I've made a list of things I want in a mate and things I do not want (deal breakers).. so let me know how it's all working for you out there!

I have been married for 9 years and have been in a loveless marrriage for about 7 years.  I have two wonderful boys and am married to a man that lost someone before we met(his fiance passed away).  So throughout our whole marriage have felt like I was trying to always capture his attention and get him to like me.  We have tried counseling and now he lives in the house but a different room.  Finally after all of these years, I can't try anymore, I don't have the interest anymore, now all of a sudden he does.  I think we should separate and try that.  My question is, how does it affect the children if they never see love and only see a roomate relationship?

    I have been dating my boyfriend for more than 2 years now.  I am 20 years old, and he is 18.  I love him very much.  He dropped out of high school his second semester of his senior year to become a manager of a company he's still working for.  The office that was here closed down, so he was going to have to move to continue working for this company, which was his dream.  But he didn't want to leave me, so I told him if he didn't leave, I would break up with him.  So he left.  He lives 3 hours away.  We didn't talk for the first 3 months he moved.  Then we started dating again.  I get to see him 2 or 3 weekends a month.  I have a hard time dealing with that because I want someone I can see whenever I want. And I'm dealing with depression so I feel like that makes it even harder for me.   He says that he's going to move back if he can when he opens his own office.  But he also says that there are not any cities near me that he can open an office in.  Did I make a mistake telling him to go?  I feel like I have...
    I have also asked him what his main priority in live is, and he said to be succesful... but mine is to find love and be happy.  And he said that, "well, if you're rich, then you're happy."... but I know that money doesn't buy you happiness. 
    He asked me to move to where he lives, but I can't even afford my car payments every month, I have a horse that I would have to have somewhere to keep, I'm still in college, and what would I do for a job?  Plus, I don't want to move away from my family.  I feel like, "well, you left me, so you should come back to me if you want to be with me."
    Someone please help me figure out what I should do!

 We are both 46, and will have been dating for two years next month. He had 2 ex wives that cheated on him. The first was a run-of-the mill bar floozy, and the second did a huge number on him, having him give up things in his career, and raising her 4 kids. She wouldn't even leave her state to be with him when he was transferred...