Topic : Ready for Marriage?

Quote From: heidibth

I need help with my emotions right now. I've been dating my boyfriend for over seven and a half years. We started dating the summer after our freshman year of high school. Now we're 23. We go to college together, live together, have ten pets together, and share a tons of mutual friends. I never wanted to be the girl who was obsessed with her boyfriend, so in high school we would usually go to dances and things like that with other people. Honestly, when I was a teenager, I never thought we'd make it this far. But we did and we couldn't be happier except for one thing...I'm ready to get married and he isn't. I am getting ready to graduate college, move away, and start a career. I want to get married before I move away so I can plan my marriage ceremony in my home state with my family around me. Plus, I'M JUST READY. I've told him all of this. He knows what I want and he acknowledges that we are already living like husband and wife. But he doesn't want to get married until after we move away and begin our careers. I don't think that makes any sense. I think there may be another reason... To make things worse, all of my friends are getting engaged, and they haven't been together nearly as long and don't have nearly as strong relationships! It makes me kind of sick at my stomach to see them taking the next step while I am in a paralyzed relationship. I hate comparing our relationship to others, but I feel like the time for the ideal proposal has already come and it on its way out the door. I'm afraid that when he does propose its not going to be a passionate and romantic occasion because I'll be bitter about waiting and watching all of my friends get married first. I know all of my feelings aren't admirable, but they are genuine. I feel frustrated and I've begun to take it out on him.

Quote From: jim1970

See? This is EXACTLY what I mean!  Women get their hearts broken by cads because they waste the BEST YEARS OF THEIR LIVES with THEM instead of the nice guy who stumbled at her feet and stammered when he tried to talk to her.  So, you go for the smooth-talking, immature low-life BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FIX HIM. 

  

Ten years later, you are bitter, hate men (but still want get married) and you STILL ignore the nice guy among you. 

  

HERE'S THE FUNNY PART: 

  

You hit 30, and all of a sudden, your WORLD COLLAPSES! 

  

There are NO MORE nice guys because you've alienated them.  You have wasted the most attractive years of your life with men who wouldn't commit to you and you find that a nice guy with self-esteem WON'T GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY. 

  

Why should we settle for seconds when we want the best? 

  

Find a guy who wants to get married in the first place and you won't have these problems. 

Quote From: jenoc99

Honey, you sound so bitter and angry. Since you are here on the message board, you are probably passively seeking some helpfull advice, so here it is: find a therepist who specializes in self-esteem issues for yourself.  

It sounds as though you had difficulty approaching girls when you were younger, therefore, they rejected your advances.  

I think that our society has over-exposed people to the myth of the "fairy tale" man who sweeps a woman off of her feet, etc.. Essentially setting every young male and female up for dissapointment, because those things never happen... but it doesn't stop people from trying. Our society is over-sexualized and puts too much emphasis on physical characteristics. But, when you know better, you do better- and for many people, they don't know better until later on in life after they have had some life experience.  

You will feel much better if you can learn how to forgive. Learn how to be the bigger person. We are all human, even  you aren't perfect. 

Quote From: rmawhirt

Im 28, my boyfriend of 3 years is 36.  

I am ready to move on in our relationship and he isnt. I do understand that though and accept it...  

We have a problem that we are both very muh aware of, I want to have children some day and he doesnt. We dont know what to do. This is such a difficult situation. We are deeply in love and believe we are the right one for each other.  

Can anyone please give me some advice?  

Quote From: jenoc99

Honey, you sound so bitter and angry. Since you are here on the message board, you are probably passively seeking some helpfull advice, so here it is: find a therepist who specializes in self-esteem issues for yourself.  

It sounds as though you had difficulty approaching girls when you were younger, therefore, they rejected your advances.  

I think that our society has over-exposed people to the myth of the "fairy tale" man who sweeps a woman off of her feet, etc.. Essentially setting every young male and female up for dissapointment, because those things never happen... but it doesn't stop people from trying. Our society is over-sexualized and puts too much emphasis on physical characteristics. But, when you know better, you do better- and for many people, they don't know better until later on in life after they have had some life experience.  

You will feel much better if you can learn how to forgive. Learn how to be the bigger person. We are all human, even  you aren't perfect. 

Quote From: jim1970

My self-esteem is FINE because I KNOW I'm the best.  I'm loving, faithful and (DUH!) brutally honest.  It's not my fault that women are stupid.

Quote From: sassy1978

Because at 18 I was not equipped for marriage....Remember, I am a woman.....I am not stupid, I don't spout off at the mouth about things I do not understand.  I AM NOT YOU!!!

Quote From: jenoc99

Honey, you sound so bitter and angry. Since you are here on the message board, you are probably passively seeking some helpfull advice, so here it is: find a therepist who specializes in self-esteem issues for yourself.  

It sounds as though you had difficulty approaching girls when you were younger, therefore, they rejected your advances.  

I think that our society has over-exposed people to the myth of the "fairy tale" man who sweeps a woman off of her feet, etc.. Essentially setting every young male and female up for dissapointment, because those things never happen... but it doesn't stop people from trying. Our society is over-sexualized and puts too much emphasis on physical characteristics. But, when you know better, you do better- and for many people, they don't know better until later on in life after they have had some life experience.  

You will feel much better if you can learn how to forgive. Learn how to be the bigger person. We are all human, even  you aren't perfect.