What does he do over and over again. ok example: I know from your last post, you said that sometimes things happen...that changes schedules...and that I need to 'get use to it', that it's part of being with someone that has a child...You see, I've never been in a relationship, where's an ex, younger child, and older child (23, married, with child)...So, I just I didn't know how it all works...I've been getting advice on these boards...Here's an example what he does over and over: Once, while I was there for a visit, I was informed (at the last moment) that on the weekend he and I were to be by ourselves...the ex had a previously planned Christmas party, that included spending the night at a hotel with her husband...It was fine, but would of been nice to know before the weekend was coming...anyway, it was ok..but, I ask my guy/friend, could she pick her daughter up on Sat. morning then? He said he sees no problem with that...then, she called to say she also wanted to go Christmas shopping...(for a few hrs)...I did get upset...I told him to call her and say 'no'...but, he wouldn't....then, I tried to accept that...BUT, then she called again and said she wants to shop for another couple of hrs...then, it turned into 7 pm at night...He tells me, his ex won't do something...that he will see to it, or talk to her about it...but, then he would said he forgot or something...then, once she called on another day of hers..and I was excited about the day with my guy/friend...the ex called, to see if he would take and pick the daughter up from violin practice...I tried to at least, have a word in..while they were on the phone..so, I can caught him before he said 'yes'...but, he motioned me to go away...He has a 23 yr. as well, and she has been very disrespectful to me and him..calling her dad FU..and her husband too..and they said, that the daughter whom is 23, also comes first..before me...the daugher calls sometimes 7 times a day...everyday at least twice..well be shopping, and I'm getting all excited...and he'll get calls...well be eating or fixing dinner, and he'll get calls...watching a favorite movie of mine, and he'll get calls...the daughter came over once at 10 pm, and knocked on the door...then, came around to the back window (bedroom window)...there's SO much more I can say, that' s just like this, even worse...he has told me over and over..that he will talk to her, and she will not disrespect us anymore..but, it continued...right after we talked, and decided tough love is in order...she even calls him at work, and leave a message saying "answer the f...ing phone" this has gone on for 4 mos..straight or so...it was Christmas..and he said he would spend just a few hrs. with her and his grandson..and I agreed that was the thing to do...but, after I went home...he said, he had her on Christmas Eve...Christmas..and over to his sister's for dinner that night...and that was after we spoke and both agreed that 'tough love' was in order here...I told him, don't do it IF your not thinking it's for the best...even, in counseling with the pastor..the pastor even agreed...So, I'm not sure I answered the question...but, the point is, him and I talked things out...come to a conclusion to things..and I would tell him, are you sure this is how you want to handle it? and he said yes...but, once I'm out of the picture..he does the opposite...I don't see how a relationship can survive, doing it the way you suggested...I mean, I'm happy you posted how you feel...and I've been doing a lot of thinking about this...but, my question is how does a relationship survive? One other person said, and he had 2 ex's too, that once a schedule is set up it has to be respected...and if one has something coming up, then they both need to have their own babysitters...that's just what they told me...I respected ALL his time with his daughter...giving them all the time together...but, then on the days/weekends he doesn't have her that's my only way of being with him...I look forward to those days/moments...and IF she's there, he gets distracted, and I feel I'm talking to two ppl...and he is in the middle of things with her...I then said, well let's talk after she goes to bed then...but, then he lets her stay up almost as late as she wants...so, that's difficult too...I just don't see how this can even be a relationship? I'm not asking for much, because it's the person I like...kids or non kids...and I do love kids, I have 2 almost 18 and almost 22...ones at home, be off to college in the fall...I work with kids as well, so I love kids...but, just like married couples...parents need their 'alone time'...and I was always taught, that the MARRIAGE should come first...not to say the kids are last...I mean most times, the kids are right....that's how I've always liked it...but, one day, those kids will be gone...what happens to the relationship of the two ppl? that's my question..thanks again Dee
