Topic : Ready for Marriage?

Good Day

 I’ve met a nice guy about 8 months ago after 3 months we decide to introduce each other to our family .After that his mother started to say bad things about me as she wants her son married to someone that she chooses for him. So his family do not accept we get engaged. From 5 months ago he is in struggle with his family so hard. Nobody pay attention to him so he gets so upset. About 1 month ago he said that he is not sure that he can manage this relationship. As he has lived alone for about 10 years he believes that he should be alone for rest of his life. He loses his confidence and nothing makes him happy. I asked him to be alone for a week and think if he wants to continue or not. After 10 days he came back to me and asked me to help him as he can’t not solve his problem alone. He assures me that nothing wrong with me and he loves me so much this is his inner problem. Now after about 2 weeks he still upset. He can’t sleep at night, he hesitates about everything. He has 2 job opportunities with high salary which even this situation does not make him happy. Pls help and informs me how I can help him. I want to know that is it only because of this stressful period of time and it will go away after a short time or it is much more important.Pls let me know about your Idea

I think you need to ask your boyfriend what needs to change in his life or your relationship with him in order for it to be "perfect". If it is a reasonable goal then you both needs to work towards that in an allotted amount of time.  If his reasons are unreasonable then you need to express your feelings and work towards setting reasonable goals that can be obtained by the both of you.

I realize that you are in panic mode but if this is a good relationship don't ruin it by making ultimatiums that you can't keep or don't want to keep.  Instead find a mutual ground and set some goals and some timelines.   If you were 30 I think I may have answered your reply differently but at 23 years old you've got a whole lot of time on your side to weigh your options and feels him out for quite some time.

If you are adamant on getting engaged in 3 months and give him the ultimatium - put a ring on my finger or I'm leaving - are you willing to follow through with that threat or lose the man that you love?

I can't tell you what to do - only you can make this important decision but I really think you need to have a heart to heart discussion with him and explain your fears to him and what's going on inside your head.

Good luck

So this guy has you an an emotional roller coaster ride from hell and you're wondering when it's time to jump off?  I'd say the time is now.  Trust has to be the foundation for any relationship to survive.  Trust has to be earned over a long period of time and once it is broken many find it hard to regain as their partners still exhibit signs of being untrustworthy.  He is playing emotional head games with you, he loves you and then he doesn't, this relationship will last and then it won't - an you wonder why you are confused.  How can you trust him and feel safe and secure in this relationship when his actions and words are so hurtful?

People lie when they are hiding something that they know their partner would not approve of.

Because you have a baby now it really is time to make a decision regarding this guy.  Is this the type of relationship you want your child to be in the middle of?  Do you want your child to hear those hateful words that he says to you ?  You need to be a role model for your child starting now.  If mom is being disrespected and treated unkindly then mom needs to show her child that this is not normal and teach your child that staying in a bad relationship is no way to live.