Quote From: summer23
I did not have the opportunity to watch the show yesterday. My sister called and gave me highlights. Unfortunately it sounds far to similar to my story. I have been with my husband for seven long strenuous years. I have been in my stepsons life since he was three, my husband was raising him with very little interaction from the mother, that is until I entered their lives. The brainwashing that has taken place is soooo sad. She has told him that I was the reason for their divorce. Untrue! And the list go's on and on.. The point is here we are seven years later. My husband and I have a daughter together that is witnessing the disrespect and awful treatment I receive from my step son. This is entirely due to his mothers dislike towards me.
I realize having the title step-mom is a difficult task in itself. I have tried to nurture and keep our family together despite the constant negative force from a meddling ex-wife. I am at my wits end. She calls several times a day, uses my step son as a pawn. We are always in court because she is never satisfied with the amount of child support. She comes to our home uninvited, belligerent,and screaming obscenities in front of the children. My husband needs to set boundaries with this woman. Unless a person has actually been in this situation, it is hard to comprehend. It is easy to cast judgment. The children suffer. If an ex-wife would put half as much of an effort into her children, with love and support. Rather than meddling in her ex husbands marriage perhaps there wouldn't be as many similar stories.... THIS IS SO SAD!
I understand exactly how you feel. I have been married for 15 years (which is now hard to believe) to my husband. He has 5 children, the oldest was 14 and the youngest 6 when we met. I always say that his ex-wife sits at the right hand of Satan and I believe she truly enjoyed the pain that she caused us. I knew my husband had children when I met him but never in my wildest dream did I think that this woman would treat someone this way. My husband had been divorced for 5 years and during that time he did all that he could for his children. Because his wife was considered an "indigent" by the State of Virginia the state paid for her to go to school, paid for her books and gave her funds to support herself. While she is getting a free education, my husband is paying her $2,000 a month in child support and alimony. Should she have gotten alimony, HELL NO! She was the one that had not 1 but 2 affairs during the course of the marriage, both with friends of his. The last one was with a family friend, breaking up his marriage. She finally married him and now has 2 children with him.
During the course of our marriage she has: threatened to take the children out of the wedding because the could not attend a "church" ceremony, she threatened to kill the children, burn down my house, kill my dog; has assaulted me (in front of the children) and still feels she has done nothing wrong. While all of this is going on she still maintains custody of the children! After the assault the judge found her guilty, but told her that if she behaved, the charges would be dropped!
At one point, our 16 year old called and said her mother "kicked her out of the house" and could she live with us. A few weeks later we got a call from his daughter saying that her mother has "kidnapped" her from school and will not let her leave her mother's home until "they talk". After speaking to the police, we could nothing because we did not have custody!
After all that we did for this "devil child" she then tried to come between my husband and I! We went to a therapist who said it was really either she or me and because of what was going on between she and her mother, she needed to know that her father was there for her and the only way for her to know it was to have me out of the way. In the meantime, we hired an attorney to get custody and after 6 months after all that, she decided she wanted to move back home. Why? Because we became a united front and gave her rules and guidelines that she had to follow. She didn't like that we kept an eye on her and wanted to know who she was with and where she was at. When she moved back home with her mother things went down and it took almost a year for her to come to her senses.
Where are the children now? Three have moved away and visit periodically and 2 are near us. We have a very close relationship with them and I believe they know what truly happened between their mother and father. Recently the "devil child" got married and we supported her in every way that we could. Her mother told her she was going to attend the wedding just a month before the ceremony and because it was a destination wedding, we were all in close proximity to each other. We made a concerted effort to be kind, cordial and polite during our entire stay. It was difficult, but I knew that it would make a difference and it did. Now, every time we see her she gives both of us a hug and I never thought that I would see the loving side but I truly believes that she knows the pain that she caused us and she loves her father more than anything. She has told me numerous times that her mother is "crazy" that they deal with her the best they can.
Why do I tell you these things? There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have said I don't know how we made it through our first 5 years of marriage because it was so stressful. We celebrated the end of the child support payments and surprisingly, she stopped harassing us when the support payments stopped. I would tell anyone that if you truly love your spouse to support and love each other. It is truly worth it.
(Original Air Date: 10/25/06) Dr. Phil's guests say they have a home wrecker in their life who has destroyed their marriage. Lisa says her five-month marriage to Sean is already in shambles because of his ex-wife, Kristy. Lisa says Kristy makes hateful phone calls, physical threats and frequent attempts to steal Sean away from her. Kristy says she doesn't want Sean back; she just wants him to be a good father to their kids. Then, Sherry says her daughter, Tammy, talked her into divorcing her husband, J.R. Now, Sherry wants to re-marry J.R., but both her daughters are making her choose between them or him. Tammy and her sister say that J.R. controls their mother and they won't support this reunion. Is Sherry making a big mistake, or are her daughters manipulating her? Join the discussion. 
