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Topic : 06/01 Home Wreckers

Number of Replies: 380
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Created on : Friday, October 20, 2006, 01:50:58 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/25/06) Dr. Phil's guests say they have a home wrecker in their life who has destroyed their marriage. Lisa says her five-month marriage to Sean is already in shambles because of his ex-wife, Kristy. Lisa says Kristy makes hateful phone calls, physical threats and frequent attempts to steal Sean away from her. Kristy says she doesn't want Sean back; she just wants him to be a good father to their kids. Then, Sherry says her daughter, Tammy, talked her into divorcing her husband, J.R. Now, Sherry wants to re-marry J.R., but both her daughters are making her choose between them or him. Tammy and her sister say that J.R. controls their mother and they won't support this reunion. Is Sherry making a big mistake, or are her daughters manipulating her? Join the discussion.

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October 23, 2006, 2:04 pm CDT

Thank you!

Quote From: blu0717

Let me begin by letting everyone know that no, I have not seen the show as it has not aired but am speaking from real life experience. I am quite angry at the comment about "100% between the couple" and blaming the current wife/husband for the problems regarding the 'outside' person.

 

First of all my husband of 3 years cheated on me in my OWN home in my OWN bed in front our OUR child. I literally found them in the shower together in MY home! I had NO idea this was going on and was devastated to find such a thing. Sure, I knew there were problems but he was telling me I was who he wanted and things would be okay - we were even in marriage counseling for goodness sake! After I caught them he still played games and I was a fool to believe him. I stayed for another 2 months having very much a martial relationship (with all the trimmings) until I walked in on him AGAIN. Needless to say, they are now married and expecting (We haven't even been divorced a year)!

 

My current situation with my boyfriend involves his ex-wife and her constantly butting into our relationship. She is extremely upset that he has moved on and has talked 'future' with me. She has a boyfriend, one who she was moving to Virginia with - now since I am in the picture she let him moved and stayed here! She has made physical threats, emails, calls constantly, begs for him to go back to her, and has even gone as far as accusing me of pushing her 5 year old daughter around. Since none of that got me out of the picture she began telling 'stories' of her past with my boyfriend (her ex-husband) to her parents (our fathers work together, small world). The info got to my father and they are now warning me of him and want me out of the relationship.

 

In no way shape or form has what she spread have anything to do with OUR current relationship and he has given me no reason to believe them (she said he is abusive and does drugs). He has NEVER hit me nor has the money or items to even consider drug dealing! She just wants me out and will do all she can until I am gone. Well....I am moving out now. I can't take it.

 

He in no way turned to her for any kind of support. She found out about us and went unglued. I understand they must talk (they share a daughter) but she is forcing me out and not getting her way back in. This is in NO way MY fault and our relationship is very much between he and I and he and I alone!

 

Please, unless you have experienced a similar situation (or even heard the story in it's entirety) don't place judgement or make comments that are so silly. How can it be the wife's or husband's fault. The ex needs to butt out and move on....the marriage didn't work for a reason!

 

 

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you. 

 

Someone needed to tell them.

 

Thank you.

 
October 23, 2006, 4:02 pm CDT

Way To go!

Quote From: blu0717

Let me begin by letting everyone know that no, I have not seen the show as it has not aired but am speaking from real life experience. I am quite angry at the comment about "100% between the couple" and blaming the current wife/husband for the problems regarding the 'outside' person.

 

First of all my husband of 3 years cheated on me in my OWN home in my OWN bed in front our OUR child. I literally found them in the shower together in MY home! I had NO idea this was going on and was devastated to find such a thing. Sure, I knew there were problems but he was telling me I was who he wanted and things would be okay - we were even in marriage counseling for goodness sake! After I caught them he still played games and I was a fool to believe him. I stayed for another 2 months having very much a martial relationship (with all the trimmings) until I walked in on him AGAIN. Needless to say, they are now married and expecting (We haven't even been divorced a year)!

 

My current situation with my boyfriend involves his ex-wife and her constantly butting into our relationship. She is extremely upset that he has moved on and has talked 'future' with me. She has a boyfriend, one who she was moving to Virginia with - now since I am in the picture she let him moved and stayed here! She has made physical threats, emails, calls constantly, begs for him to go back to her, and has even gone as far as accusing me of pushing her 5 year old daughter around. Since none of that got me out of the picture she began telling 'stories' of her past with my boyfriend (her ex-husband) to her parents (our fathers work together, small world). The info got to my father and they are now warning me of him and want me out of the relationship.

 

In no way shape or form has what she spread have anything to do with OUR current relationship and he has given me no reason to believe them (she said he is abusive and does drugs). He has NEVER hit me nor has the money or items to even consider drug dealing! She just wants me out and will do all she can until I am gone. Well....I am moving out now. I can't take it.

 

He in no way turned to her for any kind of support. She found out about us and went unglued. I understand they must talk (they share a daughter) but she is forcing me out and not getting her way back in. This is in NO way MY fault and our relationship is very much between he and I and he and I alone!

 

Please, unless you have experienced a similar situation (or even heard the story in it's entirety) don't place judgement or make comments that are so silly. How can it be the wife's or husband's fault. The ex needs to butt out and move on....the marriage didn't work for a reason!

 

 

I totally agree with you.  I never been in a situation like this before, but I do agree that unless you have been in a situation like that, you should not cast judgement.  How can it be someones fault that their spouse decides to stray from the marriage? 

 
October 23, 2006, 4:46 pm CDT

You are right, I must be bored

Quote From: smurphy

Do me a favor and just wait till the air shows before you make any assumptions. 

I have been married twice. Both times we have remained on good terms with the ex/mother of children. No threats, no worries about "stealing" him back. So, if you think it is boring to think carefully about who you will marry, consider me boring. I don't seek drama.
 
October 23, 2006, 5:35 pm CDT

10/25 Home Wreckers

 I agree with Noraann .She hit the nail on the head .If both people were happy nobody would be looking for someone else .Somebody is not totally happy in the relationship .
 
October 24, 2006, 4:37 am CDT

Home Wreckers

Quote From: purplepenny

Marriages don't exist in a vacuum. The members of a marriage are vulnerable to stress. Even the best of marriages have limits to the stress they can take.
True, but in my marriage, we have faced two EXTREMELY stressful dilemmas. But with our faith in God.......we have gotten through them. Even with the X trying to weasel in. My spouse took care of that and we are still Very happy in our marriage. One's limits are what we all make of them........with this,  there will be  no room for cracks for others to get in.......
 
October 24, 2006, 4:52 am CDT

Confused.......

Quote From: sas105

I am so confused.....How can you come to these conclusions when the show has not even aired yet?  As far as looking for something outside of the marriage,  you flat out made that up.  Not once was that mentioned in the entire show.  Oh, you would have known that had you waited for the show to air.  Get back with me after you see the show

 I am not judging, just voicing my two cents on a general topic Home Wreckers. My point is that if a marrage is strong enough, it can with stand "HOME WRECKERS" Is that not what the show is about? No one likes troubles in thier marraige. I hope that yours is strong enough to ward off the wreckers that do not like others to be happy.

 

PS......being a little touchy? Are you the only ones on the show??

 
October 24, 2006, 5:13 am CDT

LOL.......

Talk about getting ones panties in a wad! LOL........

 

OK, let me explain. Been married 23 yrs, then divorced. Remarried, he passed away after one year. Remarried after 8 years of being a widow. My current spouse has been married twice and divorced twice.

 

We have had our share of  "X's" wanting to but in. Because we have a strong marriage, we over came the troubles that they were trying to cause. IF our marriage was shaky, then maybe one of us may have strayed to the outside... OR...the X or any one else may have been the home wrecker.  But it is not. I think some of you may be on the defense and may have not gotten my point.

.......foundation is strong=strong marriage.

.......foundation weak=weak marriage.

No sense in getting all up tight about this is there??

 

 
October 24, 2006, 6:03 am CDT

get out of her life

Quote From: sstone77

I totally agree with you.  I never been in a situation like this before, but I do agree that unless you have been in a situation like that, you should not cast judgement.  How can it be someones fault that their spouse decides to stray from the marriage? 

I have been through a familiar conflict.  I have now been married for 8 almost 9 now great marriage to my husband.  When I met him, he was seperated, with a child to the girl that almost drove me to leave him forever.  They had a 3 year old son at the time and I had no children, boy had gotten close to me but she made life hell for my then boyfriend to see him.  She always made it impossible for my boyfriend to get the child without me.  She would call and say things to get in a fight with me so that  she could have a reason not to send the child.   The boy loved me so much my husband's mother would get me to pick him up  on her days to visit him.  The grandmother was jealous and believe me I was not being a mother to this child, just a friend.  When we moved in together the ex said he could not come and spend the night because we were not married.  Okay  "fine" we said, and then what did she do not so long?   Yes, she moved in with her boyfriend.  Now what was that?  Believe me, I almost left out of that situation all together.  When my husband and I married, the child did not want to come anymore, I guess that was something new to her.  My husband told her he was going to see a lawyer and she said if he would get the papers for custody she would sign them.  I was going threw family devestation but we got them anyway, guess what?  She did not sign them so that was money thrown out the window when it could have been spend on batteling in court.  It took months before we didn't know she  was not going to sign them.  unfortually we waited too long

because the boy wasn't made to visit his dad.  Time slipped by and we had had 2 daughter's and they do not know who he is.  He had been to visit when the girls were really little but not anymore because he did not want to.  To make it short, I was in a wreck and needed all the extra money and I talked my husband into signing his rights away.  So now my children want have to deal with the ex either. It was all worth the trouble and hopefully the child will want to see his dad when he gets old enough to make up his own mind.

 

 
October 25, 2006, 2:39 am CDT

10/25 Home Wreckers

Quote From: purplepenny

This seems like a basic case of miscommunication.

The term "home wreckers" is USUALLY used for people (usually women) who hunt down married men and try to destroy marriages.

I think that is where the confusion comes from.
I must agree with Lisa.  I can see the ex-wife being very vindictive, she may not want the husband back but she does want to cause hurt and pain to him and his new spouse.  Not, only does she want that but she also wants sympathy by playing the I'm a single mother card.  I went through a divorce 8 years ago and I have custody of my children and never once did I play the children card with my ex-wife.  I get so frustrated watching Dr. Phil and having Dr. Phil tell the father that he needs to move closer to his children.  He is already paying child support and your ex-wife moved 2000 miles.  Now you want him to give his career and hurt his finances with his new wife and play right into the ex-wifes hands.  I must say I do not agree with Dr. Phil and that advice because the ex-wife knew what she was doing when she did it.  This woman is not naive and I am sure she knows how to play the legal field.  So I think Dr. Phil should get real also there is 2 sides to every story but after watching that show and listening to all of the advice Dr. Phil gave all parties it was the ex-wife that blurted out "The Truth Hurts". 
 
October 25, 2006, 3:17 am CDT

wow i cant wait to see this show today lol

but lisa kristy cant steal sean if his heart is relly with you, if she can he was never yours to begin with, cut your losses and get on with your life the wright person is out there, go find him.!!!
 
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