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Topic : 06/01 Home Wreckers

Number of Replies: 380
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Created on : Friday, October 20, 2006, 01:50:58 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/25/06) Dr. Phil's guests say they have a home wrecker in their life who has destroyed their marriage. Lisa says her five-month marriage to Sean is already in shambles because of his ex-wife, Kristy. Lisa says Kristy makes hateful phone calls, physical threats and frequent attempts to steal Sean away from her. Kristy says she doesn't want Sean back; she just wants him to be a good father to their kids. Then, Sherry says her daughter, Tammy, talked her into divorcing her husband, J.R. Now, Sherry wants to re-marry J.R., but both her daughters are making her choose between them or him. Tammy and her sister say that J.R. controls their mother and they won't support this reunion. Is Sherry making a big mistake, or are her daughters manipulating her? Join the discussion.

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October 25, 2006, 10:09 am CDT

yep

just read about the show and yes those children WILL eventually see the real picture here so these people need to get a grip and start putting those children first.

Kristy needs to leave this guys wife alone and the couple needs counseling real bad to fix what has been crumbling all over a greedy ex wife who thinks life is all about her, sorry , but any one who feels the need to butt into a marriage has issues and though I agree that the father needs to make more of an effort to see his kids, I wonder,w hy dod this mother move 2000 miles away? Did she move fora good job, vlose to family, or was it to get away fromt he ex to make it harder on him to see the kids? I hope it wasn't fo r the last reason casue if it was, it WILL come back to haunt her.........................
 
October 25, 2006, 10:20 am CDT

Home Wreckers

My husband became very good friends with a co worker. He was working 20 hours a day, and feeling so alone.

Well his older brother who also works at the same place, told this girl, You should go for my brother. He is unhappy in his marriage, because his wife has let her self go. You could be the hot one. It caused a lot of heartache,not only for my self, but my 3 kids. My husband and i were able to work it out. And to this day, I have nothing to say to his brother. They are estranged because my husband said, "at the time I was at my darkest, my brother didnt help, he hurt the situation." 

I promise, when someone crosses the line and interferes with something as sacred as a marriage, emotions run high, and not many good things come out of being known as the homewrecker!

 
October 25, 2006, 10:21 am CDT

10/25 Home Wreckers

After reading the show, I didn't see any  proof of J.R. mistreating his wife in any way, shape or form.  If he is so bad then why didn't they bring stuff up? Maybe they are right but nothing was there to convince any one, (including Dr. Phil as I am sure he would have brought something up maybe I am wrong......) These adult children need to get a grip on life, life isn't all about them and if they don't allow thier mother to have a relationship with the grandkids because of all this, they are wrong and they too, like the first family WILL pay the consequences in the end, for their children will grow up and will be able to see how things really are. This woman is an adult and deserves to be ahppy and her children doesn't have to agree with her decission but they better be respecting her. As for J. R., if he truly loves this woman then he will do everything in his power to make things right, loving and respecting his wife as he should  and at the same time he woin't allow these other people to interfere with his love for her, same with his wife, marriage is about love and respecting one another, enjoying life together so make it happen, it is possible and if others don't like it, too bad, it is none of their business.
 
October 25, 2006, 10:53 am CDT

10/25 Home Wreckers

Quote From: mauiswartz

My husband became very good friends with a co worker. He was working 20 hours a day, and feeling so alone.

Well his older brother who also works at the same place, told this girl, You should go for my brother. He is unhappy in his marriage, because his wife has let her self go. You could be the hot one. It caused a lot of heartache,not only for my self, but my 3 kids. My husband and i were able to work it out. And to this day, I have nothing to say to his brother. They are estranged because my husband said, "at the time I was at my darkest, my brother didnt help, he hurt the situation." 

I promise, when someone crosses the line and interferes with something as sacred as a marriage, emotions run high, and not many good things come out of being known as the homewrecker!

This is exactly why I said before that no marriage is immune to stress. A marriage is just a bond between two people. And two people can be vulnerable to stress.  If someone deliberately preys on those vulnerabilities or stresses then things CAN be wrecked.

I think it's naive of people to think that a strong marriage can't be harmed by an outsider. Marriage isn't magic, it's just a promise to do your best in a partnership with a person.  People are people and people have limits.
 
October 25, 2006, 11:16 am CDT

10/25 Home Wreckers

Sean has supervised visitation because of a drug problem, you had to pay attention as they glossed over this on the show. It is on the slides if you need to confirm the fact. Anybody who has known a drug addict would understand that living with one is no picnic.

 

Yes, Kristy is resentful, probably after many years of living with Sean and the messes he created. She had to take the mother role to keep their lives afloat, and she seems to be still trying to teach Sean to be a man and take care of his children.

 

Possibly Kristy moved 2,000 miles away to be closer to family who could help her raise her children. Think of what they have gone through with his drug problems. Possibly she moved 2,000 miles away to earn more money.

 

Sean's remark about being tired of hearing Kristy is a single mom was just nasty. She's been a single mom all along, she has the toughest and most important job in the world. She needs to accept Sean for what he is, to put his misery behind her and be happy.

 
October 25, 2006, 12:17 pm CDT

10/25 Home Wreckers

Quote From: purplepenny

This is exactly why I said before that no marriage is immune to stress. A marriage is just a bond between two people. And two people can be vulnerable to stress.  If someone deliberately preys on those vulnerabilities or stresses then things CAN be wrecked.

I think it's naive of people to think that a strong marriage can't be harmed by an outsider. Marriage isn't magic, it's just a promise to do your best in a partnership with a person.  People are people and people have limits.

You're right. Even the strongest of marriages can fall prey to an outsider.

There is always alot of emotion that plays out in these situations...

Sometimes the hurt is too much, and sometimes forgiveness is what works. Each marriage has their own set of rules as to what works....

 
October 25, 2006, 12:33 pm CDT

10/25 Home Wreckers

Quote From: mistyc

My husband's ex-wife remarried before we ever met because she got pregnant by her boyfirend.  She moved 75 miles with their daughter.  We see his daughter about twice a month but we would like to see her everyday.  In 8 years the ex has never went back to court to have her child support payments increased and I think it is because she thinks we will sue for custody and she is absolutely right to think that.
I agree with you the ex wife needs to mind her own business and quit calling them!!  I go through this with my Fiancee and boy it's not picnic!!   His ex-wife cheated on him then decided she wanted him back and uses the kids to try and do that!!  I do feel bad for the new wife and I sympathize with her!!  There should be someway that they could see the kids without haveing her involved!!
 
October 25, 2006, 12:36 pm CDT

Lisa needs to get over herself

I thought the whole Lisa/Kristy thing was sad. Lisa clearly didn't consider what she was signing up for by marrying someone with kids and an ex-wife. She seems to think their marriage comes before the kids well being. Maybe Lisa should consider that the man she married isn't willing to do everything he can to have a relationship with his kids and what kind of a person does that make him?

 

Long ago I dated someone with three kids. While the relationship between he and I was far from healthy, what I am proud of to this day is that the kids mom and I really made an effort to have a functional and healthy relationship so the kids didn't end up in the middle. What is sad is that had things been different I would have chosen her as a friend. When he and I split up she was very supportive & understanding about why I had to exit their lives entirely.

 

When I set out to find a new mate, and my now husband one of the deal breakers was that I wouldn't marry anyone with kids because I was choosing NOT to be a step parent. I am thankful to this day that I stuck to my guns because I have a wondeful husband and wouldn't change a thing.

 

 
October 25, 2006, 12:37 pm CDT

The first guests on the show...

   These two woman need to learn to stop feeding off each other's anger. They just bicker back and forth and neither one stops and says " I will not participate". They need to grow up and each family needs to establish boundaries so the children can be happy. The children's happiness and emotional safety is the most important thing.
 
October 25, 2006, 12:46 pm CDT

Dr. Phil's Problem with Lisa

Usually I'm not one to disagree with Dr. Phil, but I don't see why he didn't defend Lisa more and why he didn't come down more on Kristy.  Unless I missed something, or there were alot of things that were left unsaid, it seemed to me that Lisa didn't do anything but defend herself. 

 

I don't blame her for feeling the way she does.  If anyone ever talked to me or my husband like that, I would freak out.  Kristy's behaviour was absolutely and possitively unacceptable.

 

The husband on the other hand, needs to get his head out of his behind and get with the program!!

 
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