Topic : 06/07 Backstabbing Sisters

If my reputation and good name was being slandered as Stacey's husband was, I would have most definitely been on that stage defending it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where's the good husband and father?

I don't think there is "mainstream" porn. It's all wretched. Many years ago, I had a friend who absolutely was going to leave her husband if he didn't stop looking at "mainsteam" porn. And you have to remember that Stacy was egged on by her sister probably to leave her husband. Stacy probably thought at first that Christy was being "supportive." Stacy wanted her husband to stop looking at porn, so she left him. Why is that so hard to believe? Porn is rampant--even men who call themselves Christians fall victim to it. For an example, I refer you to Clay Crosse, a Christian singer/radio host (now) who also wrote a book about his recovery from his ADDICTION to porn. It's an ADDICTION! He & his wife live in Memphis, and last I heard they had a radio show together. I've met him; I've heard his testimony about what happened & how he got off-track. Yes, child porn is awful, but you do realize that men look at "teen porn" online---how do we know those girls are all 18? We don't. So the line is much thinner than some people realize. It's all trash--complete & awful rubbish! Not fit for anyone to look at! There are MANY more men looking at porn in secret than is well-known, I have no doubt. Porn also ruined my childhood best friend's marriage. Her husband spent way too much money on it...& eventually left her because he lost himself in it, even though she begged him to go to counseling--they had 2 young sons. So sad. He went WAY over the edge.

There is no such thing as "mainstream" porn. It's all SICK.

Joy

Here's the thing.  Typically children won't tell if they are abused.  Abuse victims don't find the where with all to talk about the abuse for a myriad of reasons until they feel safe...usually when they are out of the abusive environment which translates to adulthood.  With this in mind, the daughter may have told the aunt stories requiring action and may recant now.  Additionally, the older sister may very well have not been abused or may have experienced the same situations very differently than her brother and sister.  So, it's likely they are all telling their truths.  It's also typical for the talker(s) to be accused of creating drama or to be looking for attention.  That doesn't mean there was no abuse. 

I'm a survivor of abuse (a physically, verbally and sexually abusive environment) and have 4 siblings.  Each of us dealt very differently at the time and continue to.  One of my most interesting learning experiences in the past several years is that each person can experience and remember the same situations very differently....internalize different perceptions/side of the same experience.  In my opinion, two other key things are important....it's important for people to understand that typically children don't tell and, if children do tell, they are usually not lying and must be believed.  To not be believed only halts the healing process and subsequently extends the abuse. 

It's good to have these shows and to have the conversations....but I feel as though you are missing some key components in the message, Dr. Phil. 

Here's the thing.  Typically children won't tell if they are abused.  Abuse victims don't find the where with all to talk about the abuse for a myriad of reasons until they feel safe...usually when they are out of the abusive environment which translates to adulthood.  With this in mind, the daughter may have told the aunt stories requiring action and may recant now.  Additionally, the older sister may very well have not been abused or may have experienced the same situations very differently than her brother and sister.  So, it's likely they are all telling their truths.  It's also typical for the talker(s) to be accused of creating drama or to be looking for attention.  That doesn't mean there was no abuse. 

I'm a survivor of abuse (a physically, verbally and sexually abusive environment) and have 4 siblings.  Each of us dealt very differently at the time and continue to.  One of my most interesting learning experiences in the past several years is that each person can experience and remember the same situations very differently....internalize different perceptions/side of the same experience.  In my opinion, two other key things are important....it's important for people to understand that typically children don't tell and, if children do tell, they are usually not lying and must be believed.  To not be believed only halts the healing process and subsequently extends the abuse. 

It's good to have these shows and to have the conversations....but I feel as though you are missing some key components in the message, Dr. Phil.