Quote From: lifeisgoodnowHere's the thing. Typically children won't tell if they are abused. Abuse victims don't find the where with all to talk about the abuse for a myriad of reasons until they feel safe...usually when they are out of the abusive environment which translates to adulthood. With this in mind, the daughter may have told the aunt stories requiring action and may recant now. Additionally, the older sister may very well have not been abused or may have experienced the same situations very differently than her brother and sister. So, it's likely they are all telling their truths. It's also typical for the talker(s) to be accused of creating drama or to be looking for attention. That doesn't mean there was no abuse.
I'm a survivor of abuse (a physically, verbally and sexually abusive environment) and have 4 siblings. Each of us dealt very differently at the time and continue to. One of my most interesting learning experiences in the past several years is that each person can experience and remember the same situations very differently....internalize different perceptions/side of the same experience. In my opinion, two other key things are important....it's important for people to understand that typically children don't tell and, if children do tell, they are usually not lying and must be believed. To not be believed only halts the healing process and subsequently extends the abuse.
It's good to have these shows and to have the conversations....but I feel as though you are missing some key components in the message, Dr. Phil.
I was immediately suspicious when Christy and her brother both said there were abused. For two children in a family to say they were, I have to believe they were. I also agree that children don't tell on parents, they go into denial. It's too difficult to face. If nothing else, if porn was found, what did the husband do to change? I volunteer for an organization that fights against child pornography and sexual abuse and if this husband did not "do something" to make changes in his behavior, I seriously doubt it has changed. Some might say I'm prudish but I wouldn't want to be married to a man who views porn, and I'd be very concerned if he were the father to my children.
Regarding the comment about why the Stacey would have 9 children if she didn't love them, I don't believe she doesn't love her children. If she was abused as a child (and if her siblings were you can almost bet she was but is in denial) it's a known statistic that she would marry an abuser. Battered women usually come from battered homes, children of alcoholics usually marry an alcoholic...unless they get into therapy or take some steps to deal with those childhood issues to break the pattern...issues dealing with this are on Oprah all the time.
We can only hope that the truth does come out definitively somehow so, if the accusations are true, people get the help they need.
(Original Air Date: 10/26/06) Backstabbing takes many forms –- lying, spreading gossip and fueling nasty rumors. Dr. Phil’s guests say the ultimate betrayal didn’t come from a stranger, but from their own flesh and blood! Stacy accuses her younger sister, Christy, of being a traitor. She says Christy reported her and her husband to Child Protective Services for allegedly having child porn on the family computer! Christy sticks to her story, and vows to help put her sister and brother-in-law in jail. How far will she go? Stacy’s 16-year-old daughter claims her Aunt Christy is a liar, and says she’s ruining their family. Can these two sisters overcome the conflict between them, or is their relationship at the point of no return? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
