A couple of years ago, my sister was working for me in the business I own. She had been a wonderful employee for many years, and we were successful at not allowing our sisterhood to affect our work, or those around us.
In the summer of 2005, something happened to her - but I do not know what. In August, I covered a weeks vacation for her (I live long distance from the business/out of state) and I noticed little things, her desk area very unkept, very sloppy, everything in her work was like that of a different person. Things weren't being taken care of, she was aggressive with employee's and I had very creditable people approaching me with news that my sister was lying about anything & everything....to customers, employee's, everyone. And, the lies were sometimes dramatic, and often they were over nothing substantial, but you knew it was a lie. She got so caught up in her tales, she didn't seem to know the truth from a lie anymore. I finally had to demote her from office manager to a part time position - but prior to this she had ASKED to go part time to spend more time with her son and family. After her schedule change and the hire of a new office manager, I visited the office and found her to be extremely aggressive, loud & out of control, uncooperative in regard to working with others. I was so concerned for her well-being that later that day, I was calling mental health counselors searching for how to ease her into help of some kind! Prior to my leaving (my own office I might add) my sister became very aggressive towards me by raising her voice (once she learned everyone was out for lunch & we were the only two in the building) & stepping closer to me in my "physical space" and she was yelling about things and going from one topic to the other that I couldn't keep up with what the real issue was - I actually feared her and left the office in tears......we have not spoken since.
After that day, I learned from various sources that for example, I had kept her son that summer for his week's vacation. I took him to the YMCA almost every day, we took walks, went to the pool, ate wonderful dinners. Later - there are two versions according to her of this......one, she told the office employee's that I promised her son a weeks vacation at my home, he packed his suitcase & went to work with her with the intent to ride home with me. She tells the office that I never showed up!!!!! Another person, she told that he did spend the week with me and that I starved him and only fed him herbs!!!!
Shortly after those attacks, she convinces my brother (a very timid soul) that I believe he is gay & am out telling everyone. Nothing could be further from the truth - I love my brother, but, this was her way of getting him in "her court" in her mind, and she used his vulnerability to turn him against me; when in reality she only uses him for what he does for her son. (She has a loser of a husband - he is not a provider; she is the provider)
In the business, she has accused me of forgery, and other horrendous things that makes me think she is telling on her self, and "projecting" onto me. I've talked to many about this, and we've all concluded she is a "serial liar" and cannot stop. She doesn't even know she's doing it.
I will say that in our childhood years, she had what we thought was a "vivid imagination" and left it at that. In her adult life, this seems to have continued in the form of lies, lies and more lies. She has told people she has cancer (when she does not), that she graduated UK (she never went to college), she tells skinny people she was once obese & lost hundreds of pounds (not true) and just all kinds of crap - it never ends.
My parents were hurt by this, however they did not ask her to stop the termoil in the family for fear that she would terminate visits with her son.......what kind of daughter would do that?? So, this has put a major strain on our family to the point the family has "died." They overlook her lies and how they hurt people, and they really do not comprehend why we all don't just overlook her, regardless of how she destroys people.
I was baptized this past Easter and I have also forgiven her (and my brother for allowing her to sway him) in my heart. I pray that she will get help or has been helped. I pray that she is not in a position of authority in her employment, and most of all, I pray she is not teaching the habit of lying to her son - though I suspect she is.
The saddest part to this, even though I have reached full forgiveness - I really do not want any form of reconciliation with her as an adult.
I wrote this to share, because I know there are others out there who have gone through total hell with a vindictive, back-stabbing, lying sibling.
(Original Air Date: 10/26/06) Backstabbing takes many forms –- lying, spreading gossip and fueling nasty rumors. Dr. Phil’s guests say the ultimate betrayal didn’t come from a stranger, but from their own flesh and blood! Stacy accuses her younger sister, Christy, of being a traitor. She says Christy reported her and her husband to Child Protective Services for allegedly having child porn on the family computer! Christy sticks to her story, and vows to help put her sister and brother-in-law in jail. How far will she go? Stacy’s 16-year-old daughter claims her Aunt Christy is a liar, and says she’s ruining their family. Can these two sisters overcome the conflict between them, or is their relationship at the point of no return? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
