Topic : Sex

How do you know if you are just a "friend with benefits" and he just wants you for sex or if it is a true relationship?  We've been friends for almost 10 years and have been sleeping together for about 2 months.  Am I being used or does he actually have deeper feelings for me?

 Dr. Phil, i've been dating this fifty-two year old man, who seems to be nice, but for the past two days I've been sick. I suggested for him to come over to visit me, but he said that's ok, he would wait until I felt better before he came over. Now, my question is...is he just using me for sex, or is he being considerate of my health? I feel as thought he just wants me for sex! 

  

                                Signed: I don't want to be just a friend with benefits! 

Yeah sounds like it to me............Why wouldn't he at least want to come over and see you and see if there is anything he can get you or just whatever.  Red flag....

Dr. Phil, I just read your reply to my question, and I agree with you. Now..how do I tell him how I feel? I'm so frustrated with being used again, until I just want to say something to him to let him know that I caught on to his game? I'm upset with myself too, should I be?

So I was raped by a mime the other day...

I tried to scream, but I couldn't.

Oh the irony.
 

 So he just called me. He really felt bad about it, and I guess I can forgive him. He's asked that we meet for coffee sometime tomorrow, but I'm not sure what to say. He *did* rape me after all, but I think he's become addicted. A burned out junkie, a mere husk of a human being. He didn't seem to enjoy it, so I'm thinking he was put up to do it by the other mimes. They're nothing but bullies anyway.

I guess this is what I get for wearing clown shoes, though.

Thanks for your insight. I don't know how big the girl/nude pics files are. I haven't asked him about them yet, but I will. We've been dating almost 2 years. I think if he had a problem, it would have surfaced by now, because he's never hid things from me. He even asked me once if I've ever seen a porn movie & then said "Yeah, I think I have 1 lying around here still." He said it casually as if he doesn't care. I haven't seen any hard core porn videos at his place. Just what I mentioned, and I snooped a little, too, but found nothing else. He never has gotten defensive about anything I've asked him about & he's always open & honest. He is the type of person who would get rid of something if he knew it bothered me so much. Thanks again!

I am a 24-year-old young woman and I recently met a wonderful guy that I just started dating.  For the first time in a long time, I have been able to genuinely understand and appreciate someone.  He's funny, caring, and utterly romantic.  I met him while out with friends about two weeks ago and we clicked immediately.  I went out on my first date with him recently and it was like we had been with each other for a long time; surprisingly there really were no awkward conversations or lulls on the date.  To make a long story short, we simply had instant powerful chemistry.   

  

Although I'm not one to speculate on whether this prospect is going to be the one or not, I have good feelings here so I don't want to go out of my way to mess this up by getting intimate too soon.  Doing that has been a real problem for me in the past and I don't want to repeat such a mistake.  Anyway he has been a perfect gentleman so far and has not been pushy at all.  He is touchy-feely to a slight extent (by that, I mean kissing, hugging, clinging of the back, etc...nothing perverted by any means), but at the same time he has been absolutely respectful.  But I do know that at some time the question of whether or not to get intimate will come up since I'll most likely continue to date him.   

  

Now I'm not a young and inexperienced adolescent whose hormonal boyfriend is pressuring her to have sex when she has no concept of sexual desire and all she wants to do is please the guy to stay with her (this is not to put down young girls in such situations; I just want to clarify my situation here and acknowledge that such a situation is far from it)...my situation is nothing like that.  I consider myself to be experienced enough to know what I want.  I know enough that there's no point in having sex unless you're genuinely attracted to the person.  I also have learned that there's no point in getting intimate immediately if you are willing to pursue a relationship.  As you can see here, I am genuinely attracted to this person; I just don't want to make yet another mistake of getting intimate too soon because I think this one has potential.  Don't get me wrong...at some point, I can see myself getting together with this person if we end up staying together long enough.  So to conclude this tangent, what would be an advisable minimum "waiting" time length to pursue the prospects of a successful relationship? 

I met my so called dream girl online (cupid.com) we talked for several weeks before meeting, In fact I desided to meet her parents first to make an extra good empression....I then met her and had the up most respect for her as far as having sex , no pressure I waited until she was ready,  she came on to me then it was on ,for like 2 months it was the best ever as far as the relationship as a whole....One night she came to my job in a trinch coat with sexy night gown underneath and seduced me, well it worked.....The very following day she desided no more sex until we're married,I got upset and havn't been the same since,now she thinks that I only wanted her for the sex,and that is the furthest from the truth,but it is hard for me to be close to her and she dont understand why... she is not trying to hurry no wedding either its more like she turned religious over night after I moved to a location to be close to her ,and now here I am on the verge of a break up because of it.......It would be great to get some advise from men,and wemen........

i always thought NO! but after the break up and 3-4 days of me constantly calling him 2 insult him and stuff..i went and we talked and i suggested the idea and it took him 30 minutes to be convinced..no guy would say no when it comes to sex. He did say it won't mean that we will get back together and it's wrong and we shouldn't do it..but i really wanted to remember how it would feel for the last time. was it a mistake? was it stupid? we both know that there is nothing that can bring us back together but i might have gotten some false hopes from the whole thing...it was so romantic and dirty and INTENSE..he never touched me that way or pleased me that way. any ideas?