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Topic : Sex

Number of Replies: 559
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:09:39 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you happy with your sex life? Or do you ask, "What sex life?" Share your story with other singles.

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February 24, 2006, 5:49 pm CST

Hottest Man Ever

Quote From: grownupgal

Hi  

   

I'm wondering about being attracted to a man that I wouldn't typically find handsome or attractive.  I know in the past when I've been wildly attracted to a man and followed these instincts, it may have led to great sex but not a great relationship.  My question is - how to develop sexual attraction (a must for a good relationship in my book) with a man I don't find attractive initially.  I don't want to fake attraction and I don't want to lie to myself to get into a relationship-I want to be attracted.  I welcome ideas on whether real 'hot' attraction can come over time with a man not initially perceived as attractive.  Thanks for your thoughts.  


TW  

When I was in my 20's, I used to date extremely good-looking men. I'm talking about guys that made Brad Pitt look like a troll. I couldn't imagine giving an average guy a second look. I thought I had to be totally physically attracted to the guy to have a relationship with him. However, after a few months, they all started looking a little plain. One day, my friend set me up on a blind date. She said she thought this man was perfect for me. I agreed to the date...thinking she meant he was my usual model material. Was I ever surprised! He was 300 lbs., bushy hair, 12 years older, and looked like a biker. Before he could even say "hi", I had made up my mind. No way was I going to be attracted to a man like this. How on earth could my friend ever believe he was my type? I was already dressed, so I thought I'd make the best out of the situation and maybe make a new friend. We had a good time talking with each other that night. He ended up asking me out again. I thought what the heck....went out again. We had so much in common. Within a few weeks, this biker guy was the sexiest man I'd ever met. To this day, I still feel the same. We ended up having a beautiful daughter together. He's the only one I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, he past away some years ago. That’s another story though. What I’m trying to say is that physical beauty fade quickly, but true beauty…inner beauty lasts forever. Try looking at a man with your heart instead of your eyes.  Believe me it works. 

 
February 24, 2006, 7:28 pm CST

Sex

Quote From: latingirl

ASK the man out for pete's sake!  What the heck are you waiting for.  I would also go out with this other guy and see what he is like as well.  Geez girl, look around at all your options!  You never know when you miss a good one in life.  I am not saying go sleep with the guys!  BUT go out with them on a date and see how it goes.  Sometimes we end up adoring the person we didn't think! 

Thanks Latingirl. 

I did go out tonight, where Aaron was hanging out at, and he wasn’t there. I got so angry that I hopped in my car to head home. It was raining outside, and chilly, so of course this put me in even a worse mood! 

Well, my car wouldn’t start! and I tried the keyless entry, and that wouldn’t work either!!  So I called the dealership, because they were still open and asked them what it could be? They guy there said it was the battery. So a tow truck came and got the car, and the dealership sent someone out to drive me home.  

  

 

When the guy arrived, I swear I almost drooled all over myself! He was absolutely gorgeous!!! but, of course, too young… He was all about 19, maybe 20.. that’s it… and I am 30!! Old timer! Anyway, we got to talking as we drove.. H just kept smiling at me with a such a sexy smile! So when he pulled up at my house, he came to my side and let me out… So I teased him a little, I said, “So how much should I tip you this evening sir?” and I laughed.. He smiled real big, grabbed me by the waist, dipped me, and said< “this much!” as he brought me back up, I kissed him! I know! stupid, right? Is it??? Got he’s cute! I’m so confused!! Why did this have to happen anyway!! not fare! why couldn’t he be a little older!! 

  

 

More advise please?? 

thanx so much!  Starla Sky* 

 

 
February 25, 2006, 2:13 pm CST

Sex

Quote From: dzblonde

When I was in my 20's, I used to date extremely good-looking men. I'm talking about guys that made Brad Pitt look like a troll. I couldn't imagine giving an average guy a second look. I thought I had to be totally physically attracted to the guy to have a relationship with him. However, after a few months, they all started looking a little plain. One day, my friend set me up on a blind date. She said she thought this man was perfect for me. I agreed to the date...thinking she meant he was my usual model material. Was I ever surprised! He was 300 lbs., bushy hair, 12 years older, and looked like a biker. Before he could even say "hi", I had made up my mind. No way was I going to be attracted to a man like this. How on earth could my friend ever believe he was my type? I was already dressed, so I thought I'd make the best out of the situation and maybe make a new friend. We had a good time talking with each other that night. He ended up asking me out again. I thought what the heck....went out again. We had so much in common. Within a few weeks, this biker guy was the sexiest man I'd ever met. To this day, I still feel the same. We ended up having a beautiful daughter together. He's the only one I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with. Unfortunately, he past away some years ago. That’s another story though. What I’m trying to say is that physical beauty fade quickly, but true beauty…inner beauty lasts forever. Try looking at a man with your heart instead of your eyes.  Believe me it works. 

Thank you for this - it does help.  Like you said - my reaction when a far-from-attractive man appears on a blind date is anger "What were my friends thinking of in setting me up with this man?"...and if I'm honest I see that there is a feeling of my self-worth involved....if I'm good/desirable, etc....then I'll have an attractive man.  I'm not sure how to untangle myself from this as I realize it is the exact kind of 'trophy' thinking that we find in older wealthy men with young babes.  Also - to untangle from the thoughts of what my friends, etc. will think of me if I'm with this unattractive man.  I know the answer is to rely on my own judgements and self-worth....but it is a process for me to get there.  Tips appreciated.
GrownUpGal
 
February 26, 2006, 12:07 am CST

Sex after the Accident

I would love it if someone could give me some advice on what to do about my boyfriend and our sex life. We met in July and I had back surgery in Jan. and then out of the blue and of course unplanned found out I was pregnant in March. I was told that I would need fertility treatments to even conceive. We only had sex about 3 times since founding out this news. He wanted me to end the pregnancy and that simply was not an option for me. I had the baby and we are working very hard to make this relationship work. We stopped having sex about six or seven months ago. my beautiful baby girl is four months old. I continue to tell him how much and how important a sex life is to me but he makes excuse as to maybe it's medication that has decreases his drive, and then says he can't bring himself to perform because sex was what got us in this mess and caused all the arguing. I can't keep just having a relationship were there is no intimacy. It is affecting me in other ways. Any suggestions?? 
 
February 27, 2006, 1:38 am CST

I know how you feel!!!

Quote From: krissy80

I am 23 years old. I would say that I am a very good looking girl, but an insecure one all the men say. I have been dating my boyfriend who is 28 for about a year and a half. He is probably the most trust worthy guy you would ever meet, however, the whole strip club thing makes my skin crawl. We had a falling out last summer when the night before his best friends wedding, he was the best man, EVERYONE wanted to go to the strip club, of course I didn't and i got very upset that he wanted to go, and these girls were going to be totally nude. We didn't go but he still holds it over my head that he missed his Best friends wedding/strip club night. Now the bachelor parties continue and I keep telling him I do not want him to go, but he basically is telling me too bad. He says all he does is sit there and drink beer and hang out with his friends and that the girls don't matter to him. I am disgusted with it and the fight keeps coming back to haunt us. It makes me sick to my stomach that breasts and butts are going to be parading around my man, tempting him. What should I do? This may end our relationship. I feel one way and he feels another, is there a compromise, I don't think so at all. I hate strippers!

Hi 

When I read your post I couldn't believe how similar our situations are. I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is also 24. We've been together for over four years. He sounds like your boyfriend - amazingly sweet, very trustworthy - has NEVER done anything to make me doubt him. But the same issue keeps on coming up in our relationship too. Since we've met - I've been straight with him about how I am anti-strip clubs. I think it is soooo disrespectful and it makes me almost physically sick! I know a lot of women think that I am overreacting, but I can't help it. These are my values and I feel that if he respects me, he should never put himself in that kind of situation. He says the same things as your boyfriend does - that he sits with his friends, drinks beer, and could care less about the girls. He says, if I actually think that he would want to touch one of them with a ten foot stick, then i'm crazy. I feel that if he is looking at other naked girls and turned on or anything, then it is pretty much being unfaithful.  

A few years ago, his friends all wanted to go, and he called me and I got really upset and he made his friend drive him home. But now, as with your situation, bachelor parties are starting to happen. His sister is getting married and he is standing and all the guys are going to Vegas for three nights. I was so upset at first, that I kept talking to him about constantly and he finally got really mad and basically said the same thing - too bad. He says that it is not up to him, but he will NOT miss these bachelor parties. We have been fighting about this for a few months off and on. I have finally accepted the fact that he is going to go. And I wil have to deal with it.  However, I at some points have thought that this could end our relationship too.  

But then I remember what a great guy I have, and then I try to think about it like this: If he is really the type of guy who would go to a strip club and do anything inappropriate, then he is not the guy for me. If he is going to do something bad, I can't stop it. All i can do is trust him, and know that he will do the right thing. If he doesn't, it's over, plain and simple.  

I don't think you should break up with him. If you really care about him and trust him - then give him the chance to prove himself trustworthy. Don't dump him unless he messes up. Why ruin a good thing over something that really is beyond his control? 

 
February 27, 2006, 3:31 pm CST

He shouldn't be at a strip club when he has you

Quote From: krissy80

I am 23 years old. I would say that I am a very good looking girl, but an insecure one all the men say. I have been dating my boyfriend who is 28 for about a year and a half. He is probably the most trust worthy guy you would ever meet, however, the whole strip club thing makes my skin crawl. We had a falling out last summer when the night before his best friends wedding, he was the best man, EVERYONE wanted to go to the strip club, of course I didn't and i got very upset that he wanted to go, and these girls were going to be totally nude. We didn't go but he still holds it over my head that he missed his Best friends wedding/strip club night. Now the bachelor parties continue and I keep telling him I do not want him to go, but he basically is telling me too bad. He says all he does is sit there and drink beer and hang out with his friends and that the girls don't matter to him. I am disgusted with it and the fight keeps coming back to haunt us. It makes me sick to my stomach that breasts and butts are going to be parading around my man, tempting him. What should I do? This may end our relationship. I feel one way and he feels another, is there a compromise, I don't think so at all. I hate strippers!

Remind him that he shouldn't be at a strip club because he has you. 

 
February 28, 2006, 11:53 am CST

Dear Char2444

Quote From: char2444

I would love it if someone could give me some advice on what to do about my boyfriend and our sex life. We met in July and I had back surgery in Jan. and then out of the blue and of course unplanned found out I was pregnant in March. I was told that I would need fertility treatments to even conceive. We only had sex about 3 times since founding out this news. He wanted me to end the pregnancy and that simply was not an option for me. I had the baby and we are working very hard to make this relationship work. We stopped having sex about six or seven months ago. my beautiful baby girl is four months old. I continue to tell him how much and how important a sex life is to me but he makes excuse as to maybe it's medication that has decreases his drive, and then says he can't bring himself to perform because sex was what got us in this mess and caused all the arguing. I can't keep just having a relationship were there is no intimacy. It is affecting me in other ways. Any suggestions?? 
To learn how to get and keep a healthy, happy and loving relationship, I highly recommend couples counceling!! It sounds like this all happened very fast, but now you have another life to be responsible for, and you need to do the right thing. If your boyfriend won't go to counceling, I urge you to go by yourself, then.
 
March 1, 2006, 1:57 pm CST

Insecure in my relationship help!

I am a 25 year old male, And i have been dating my fiance for 4.5 years now. We've had our ups and our downs. We are getting married in october this year.  The issue is she started a new job in the last 3 4 months. And she works until 10 pm at night, and with my job working out on a tugboat i am gone 6 days at a time and back for 3. It doesnt leave alot of time to spend together, and when we do i feel like she takes all of her anger and stress out on me, constantly tells me i annoy her and i am being to clingy.  Our sex life has been horrible for  a while, i havnt had sex in 3- weeks now. My sex drive is totally more than hers, and i dont know what to do about it. When we do have sex she doesnt want alot of kissing or anything most the time.  Lately she has been going out more with her friends, and what not  and i just get feeling awful i was never a jealous person or anything , and i understand with a job like mine and what not that she needs to go out and do her own thing, but i think the lack of sex life, and the feeling i have that the very little  time i am around her she is moody and grouchy, and the time she is always with her friends she isnt like that. I just feel like she could do more to be a little more loving when i am around.  And i tell her that and she says " Ive been the same way since youve met me and if you dont like it call and cancel all the wedding stuff" Now there is no doubt that she loves me and i wouldnt wanna be with any other person in the world. I just feel so sad and i know we should probably seek counceling she is a very stubborn person.   HELP 

  

-Randy  

 
March 1, 2006, 2:36 pm CST

I need to change

  I just turned 17 and i have been dateing this guy for 5 1/2 months we started haveing sex and we told ourselves that we loved each other and that made it ok . we got caught and now we are not allowed to see or speak to each other .it is hard because i do love him we are both chirstians and we both do things we shouldnt (Me more than him) my group of friends are not angels i smoke and drink  i had a fake ID i would go to bars and clubs and i know that if i continue down the path im going down that i could get hurt ,arrested, or killed i know i need to change and i need to walk with the lord  again ,but i dont know where to start i need help and other suggestions HELP!!!!
 
March 2, 2006, 2:38 am CST

Boy- do I have a story for you!

 
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