Quote From: krissy80I am 23 years old. I would say that I am a very good looking girl, but an insecure one all the men say. I have been dating my boyfriend who is 28 for about a year and a half. He is probably the most trust worthy guy you would ever meet, however, the whole strip club thing makes my skin crawl. We had a falling out last summer when the night before his best friends wedding, he was the best man, EVERYONE wanted to go to the strip club, of course I didn't and i got very upset that he wanted to go, and these girls were going to be totally nude. We didn't go but he still holds it over my head that he missed his Best friends wedding/strip club night. Now the bachelor parties continue and I keep telling him I do not want him to go, but he basically is telling me too bad. He says all he does is sit there and drink beer and hang out with his friends and that the girls don't matter to him. I am disgusted with it and the fight keeps coming back to haunt us. It makes me sick to my stomach that breasts and butts are going to be parading around my man, tempting him. What should I do? This may end our relationship. I feel one way and he feels another, is there a compromise, I don't think so at all. I hate strippers!
Hi
When I read your post I couldn't believe how similar our situations are. I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is also 24. We've been together for over four years. He sounds like your boyfriend - amazingly sweet, very trustworthy - has NEVER done anything to make me doubt him. But the same issue keeps on coming up in our relationship too. Since we've met - I've been straight with him about how I am anti-strip clubs. I think it is soooo disrespectful and it makes me almost physically sick! I know a lot of women think that I am overreacting, but I can't help it. These are my values and I feel that if he respects me, he should never put himself in that kind of situation. He says the same things as your boyfriend does - that he sits with his friends, drinks beer, and could care less about the girls. He says, if I actually think that he would want to touch one of them with a ten foot stick, then i'm crazy. I feel that if he is looking at other naked girls and turned on or anything, then it is pretty much being unfaithful.
A few years ago, his friends all wanted to go, and he called me and I got really upset and he made his friend drive him home. But now, as with your situation, bachelor parties are starting to happen. His sister is getting married and he is standing and all the guys are going to Vegas for three nights. I was so upset at first, that I kept talking to him about constantly and he finally got really mad and basically said the same thing - too bad. He says that it is not up to him, but he will NOT miss these bachelor parties. We have been fighting about this for a few months off and on. I have finally accepted the fact that he is going to go. And I wil have to deal with it. However, I at some points have thought that this could end our relationship too.
But then I remember what a great guy I have, and then I try to think about it like this: If he is really the type of guy who would go to a strip club and do anything inappropriate, then he is not the guy for me. If he is going to do something bad, I can't stop it. All i can do is trust him, and know that he will do the right thing. If he doesn't, it's over, plain and simple.
I don't think you should break up with him. If you really care about him and trust him - then give him the chance to prove himself trustworthy. Don't dump him unless he messes up. Why ruin a good thing over something that really is beyond his control?
