Topic : Sex

I hope to help some one with this very painful experience- Randy inspired me to share- 

This last relationship I was in-he also worked on the boat for years- and then he just kept working-when I met him- I was not expecting it- but here is my story- 

i  wanted to wait until I was married to have sex, but in previous relations I was raped  three times- date rape- ( that is another very sad story)- but with this guy I was determined to be treated right and not make the same mistakes- unfortunately- I did not have the confidence that I deserve better because he and others told me no one will ever want me- this is very painful so let me do long story short- 

He broke up with me so many times because he felt that since we were not having sex-  mind you he hated HATED kissing cuddling and snuggling-oh god - did he hate it-and he was OBSESSED with my chest- I am normal average- but it was sick- 

He said that no man would wait for a girl to have sex- and he used to get SO angry and frustrated that he would say that it was my job to be used for him to 'relieve' himself-and it would be my fault that he would be so horny and could not focus on work or driving and if he got killed- it would be my fault- 

He sexually abused me- and I regret doing anything because I did not want to and when I did he treated me horribly-  He has serious anger and temper and emotional and mental issues- I tried to help him-and by the way we spent very little time together because he did not want me around. 

He said kissing is boring and a joke.  HE SAID ALL MEN WANT SEX-BUT NO GUY REALLY ENJOYS KISSING AND THAT IT IS NOT REAL- 

He says I am screwed up.  The 'sex' with him i wished I never had-  He got rid of me but I am still hurting and still speaking him hoping he will be sorry and be responsible(  I HEAR YOU EVERY ONE-I AM NOT CALLING HIM ANYMORE-THANK YOU) 

He felt that I was stopping things because  I respected myself- he also would say that because I was raped I was punishing him- and I told him that was not true-by the way -ladies and gentlemen- he says -angrily- that women who are raped never lets anything happen. 

I can go on and on about this guy- but you get the idea-  so far he is right -no one wants me because I am still single with no prospects in sight - and I have already been rejected a few times- 

This was very painful to share and there is more-but I wanted to write in hopes to share with you and that I know that kissing  is very special and precious- although not a good idea with bad hygiene or if some one is sick- 

I don't know if I will ever have the relationship and the kissing I deserve-  I am trying to love and feel good about myself- 

I don't hate sex like this guy horribly accused me of-he is no casanova himself- but he really did damage me quite a bit- 

Randy- don't get married yet- maybe it is time to move on and heal -if you are a good guy and she does not realize that she has a good man- Hey- let her have this guy- she will appreciate you in no time. 

Are you treating her right- do you respect her- are you forcing her to have sex- what are your priorities?   

For me- having a serious loving relationship with the right man has always been second-after myself. 

Hey- I am no expert -but my experience speaks for itself- I hope I helped a bit-  Lastly- it is very difficult and hard to find the right mate-MAN - DON'T I KNOW IT. 

I  am sorry folks but I need to stop- I just hope I made some sense-Thanks for reading this post. 

 ASC 

WEll last night i got a break from work for the night <unusual> , and i went over and had a long talk with her she had no idea i felt this way. Maybe i shouldnt bottle things up and let them become out of control. But anyways i dont feel sad anymore, and we talked alot of it out. And things are going to look up from here. Will probably start some pre marriage counseling here real soon. I know that her and i have the love for each other it takes to be happy , we both just need to never take for granted the true love that we have.  

With you that story is so horrible. So many people have broken into sex so early in life that its all that matters. Granted its is very important in a long standing relationship but some relationships arent on that level and dont need to be. You should be able to tell when a guy is just trying to use you for sex or if he is really sincere about the whole thing. Ya know when you meet the right guy and someone whom you can trust infinitely you will make that step again. until then dont settle or let creeps like that make you feel even worse. Hope all works out! 

-Randy  

I try to remember that this life we have now is only temporary, and the things we do now reflect on our eternity. So whats important having out of control fun now or being happy for eternity?  There are ways to have fun without going overboard at 17 years of age your still a teenager getting ready to break into young adult stage.  

dont get caught up in the "whats cool " stage. Live life respectfully and thankfully. 

-Randy 

That is where you lie wrong my dear.  I am one of those people.  I don't think....and maybe I am just wierd....but I don't think that just because one feels no need to have sex until they are completely ready or until they are married that people should not date them.  Damn it!  I would LOVE to meet a guy that would not want to have sex until he is ready.  If you need  5 - 10 years then great!  TO be absolutely honest.....if sex depleated from this world I would be one of the happiest women in the world.  I will not give excuses but I hate it.  Maybe that will change once I am able to be a single person again for a couple of years but in all honesty....you will find that person.  Just take it as a blessing.  That one person that you do find, you will be so happy with.  I know a few people that are the same, and they understand so don't take it hard....if people can't take it....it's their loss, not yours.  You will find that someone.