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Topic : Sex

Number of Replies: 559
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:09:39 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you happy with your sex life? Or do you ask, "What sex life?" Share your story with other singles.

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November 22, 2005, 10:27 pm CST

Your fears are realistic

Quote From: anglbby27

 Hey everyone..
I have a crazy situation.. I have been with my fiance for 3 years. We have a daughter she is a year old. We're young and  we're both going to college. My fiance has only had sex with me. He tells me he's in love with me and he only wants to be with me for the rest of his life. A few months ago he told me he wanted to see what it was like having sex with someone else. We broke up because of it. He cried and said that it wasn't worth losing me and his daughter over. And he would never cheat on me, blah blah blah. Anyways... now he's been looking at porn ALL THE TIME. It wouldn't bother me if we were having sex as much as I wanted to. I've even asked him what can we do to make our sex life better? I'm not against trying new things at all. I've even tried to talk to him into a few things.. He just likes to imagine he says. WHY? I dont get it. Am I over-reacting? I've been thinking about leaving him over this because It's getting out of control. My self-esteem can't handle getting any lower.

Please help!!

Porn is an addiction.  You are justified in feeling worried.  And please note--you cannot compete with pornography--nor should you.  Obviously he is trying to meet a need outside of your relationship and it is not healthy for either of you.  His imaginations is not the problem--it is what he does (or doesn't do) that you are already saying hurts you. 

  

Imagine if he was drinking all of the time?  What advise would you give yourself then? 

  

I hope you have someone you can speak to about this because you have already admitted that your "Self esteem can't handle getting any lower" 

  

His porn issues are not a result of you or body or esteem...it is about him trying to fill a need with the wrong things... 

 
November 22, 2005, 10:30 pm CST

Not sure I understand?!

Quote From: latingirl

You know as a married woman, you should never have anything to hide?  So why care if he looks are your emails and chat lines, unless you are saying things that you shouldn't be and talking to people you shouldn't be.  If you have nothing to hide and are doing nothing wrong, then let him check ... in line he will realize you aren't doing anything.  

  

I don't think anyone has the right to go through private writings: whether it is a diary or email.  However, he is obviously mistrusting you b/c he perceives your online chatting or correspondance as problematic.  Either he has a control issue or you are not being honest about the nature of your online chatting. 


Which do you think it is? 

 
December 4, 2005, 3:10 am CST

Sex

 I sometimes wonder if my husband really knows what I want in sex. Sometimes it feels like its a routine, go to the bedroom, he does what he wants then goes to sleep. Even if i am not in the mood I still feel like I have to give it to him or he may go some where else to get it..I am only 24 the sex should be hot but its not. Do any other women out there feel the same? Sex is boring.
 
December 7, 2005, 8:05 pm CST

Wow...

Quote From: dollie

 I sometimes wonder if my husband really knows what I want in sex. Sometimes it feels like its a routine, go to the bedroom, he does what he wants then goes to sleep. Even if i am not in the mood I still feel like I have to give it to him or he may go some where else to get it..I am only 24 the sex should be hot but its not. Do any other women out there feel the same? Sex is boring.
I am sorry to read this message from someone so young.  Sex is the most wonderful thing that happens between two people.  You are both very young that is most of your problem.  But with that said,  you need to communicate with your husband of what it is you want.  Do not have this discussion in the bedroom though.  But FIRST you must know what you want.  You have to know your own body.  You should read books about sex and relationships.  You should also have a vcr in your bedroom and watch vedios together.  YOU should never not get pleased.  You should have a climax every time you have sex.  Do not think of it as sex though...it is making love....good luck...someone who has been in your shoes.  I wish I knew then what I know now at 48...
 
December 13, 2005, 12:49 pm CST

Sex

Quote From: marianabmw

I have been dating an amazing man for a year now.We took things slowly at first because I think you should only have sex with the person you love and trust.He respected my beliefs,we fooled around but never did anything"serious".We waited 9 months to make love and when it came down to it he couldn't do it because he had thoughts about commitment and the future,after discussing these things we had a great night together.Now he doesn't want to have intercourse he just wants to fool aroung and just have oral sex.He says he enjoys it more and that's the end of it.I am well taken care of when i'm with him in all aspects except when it comes to the intercourse that's where we keep having problems. Please help me out,i feel like i'm right about persuing this issue but maybe i'm just going crazy!!??Any response would be appreciated! 

So after making him wait 9 months to have sex with you, you are angry because he doesn't want to have sex with you? If by "having a great night together" you meant fooling around but no sex, and still to this day have not had sex, it's because he respects that you want to have sex with the person you will be with forever, and he doesn't see himsefl being that person, this way he gets to fool around with you, but you can't hold sleeping with you over his head. Harsh yes, in a guys mind the perfect way to get away with it.
 
December 14, 2005, 11:19 pm CST

Sex

Quote From: anglbby27

 Hey everyone..
I have a crazy situation.. I have been with my fiance for 3 years. We have a daughter she is a year old. We're young and  we're both going to college. My fiance has only had sex with me. He tells me he's in love with me and he only wants to be with me for the rest of his life. A few months ago he told me he wanted to see what it was like having sex with someone else. We broke up because of it. He cried and said that it wasn't worth losing me and his daughter over. And he would never cheat on me, blah blah blah. Anyways... now he's been looking at porn ALL THE TIME. It wouldn't bother me if we were having sex as much as I wanted to. I've even asked him what can we do to make our sex life better? I'm not against trying new things at all. I've even tried to talk to him into a few things.. He just likes to imagine he says. WHY? I dont get it. Am I over-reacting? I've been thinking about leaving him over this because It's getting out of control. My self-esteem can't handle getting any lower.

Please help!!

hey, that is really too bad to hear. i hope something has been resolved by now? 

i think you need to ask him to choose. i've been reading a lot up on it searching on this website (search:porn). I've been faced with something very similar recently where i found out my fiance is actually addicted to internet porn and has been lying to me about it. he's agreed to get help because he knows it is a problem, luckilly.  

i know what you mean about your self esteme getting low. i feel the same way.  

i think you're too good to be treated that way. you need to talk to him straight up and make him read some of the stuff on this site, its really helpful.  

best of luck 

 
December 20, 2005, 9:44 pm CST

Should I be concerned?

I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years I am 32, he is 41. He's lived alone for 14 years & has never dated anyone this long. I'm the 1st girl he's brought home to his family & will again this year for Xmas.  He's been an open book with me since day 1 & he's loyal, loving, caring, considerate, thoughtful, funny, handsome and intelligent. He loves media & has a huge collection of movies on dvd & vhs. He's really into old classics. I snooped around his collection & found 6 tapes of the show "Strip Poker", which he taped himself, 4 Playboy videos (from the early 90's), a vhs labeled "Celebrity Nude Scenes" and the movie "Showgirls" (which he purchased just last Oct.)  Also, when we first started dating, I saw on his computer 1 file called "nude pics" the other "girl pics". Am I dating a pervert? Is it natural for a 41 year old man who has lived alone for so long to have this stuff? Is he maybe dealing with another issue by having this? His mom left him & his siblings when they were kids. He's very special to me, but I'm worried that this wasn't just a phase. He doesn't have subscriptions to girlie magazines or anything & the movies he's nuts about are old classics & even musicals. He's also a pack rat, and keeps EVERYTHING! I want to know from a neutral party if I should be concerned. Does this sound excessive or is it normal? He knows how I feel about strip clubs, porn, etc. and he's always ready & willing to listen & can always see my side on things. Please advise. I don't know if I'm obsessing over this 1 thing about him that bothers me & trying to find a "perfect" man, or what.
 
December 20, 2005, 11:45 pm CST

What Should I Do?

What Should I Do?

Okay first let me tell you all my story. Jan 13th of 2005 I was sitting in my high school class. Business Communications. My friend suggested in front of me to this football player, Josh who is my age that he should be my date for prom. He said no. The next day in the class he asks me to be his gf. I for some reason said yes. However, I thought a boyfriend was the last thing I needed. I had rape counseling, a court case (I was raped when 16), my dad battling cancer, and my church splitting all going on.  That weekend when Josh called, he could tell something was wrong. I told him everything that was going on and told him I hadn't had a boyfriend since before the rape. He understood. And I found out I was his first ever girlfriend.The relationship started out slow.  The more I got to know about him the more I started to care. He was there for me when I lost the court case. I quit going to my home church, First Baptist of Carlisle because they spilt and was fighting. I started going to Josh's church, Carlisle Assembly of God. My dad passed away Feb 13th at 3am. that was a sunday morning. I went to church with Josh that morning. But I called his mom before I left. When I walked in the church, Josh's mom was there waiting on me. SHe gave me a hug. Church was packed that day. But I found Josh and he hugged me and let me in the pew so I oculd sit beside him. He was there for me. Not only for that day but the days to come.  We loved each other more and more. Then 2 weeks after prom, I broke his trust. We had left prom 30 minutes early so we could do "fool around" is the nice way to put it before we had to be at the school for project prom. A week later I wrote a note to a friend telling her what had happened. When she threw it away, it landed on teh floor without us knowing. Josh's football couch found it, handed it to another couch who then gave it to Josh. I broke his trust and it was over a few days later. June 3rd I had a horriable car wreck. Flipped my car three times. They released me from the hosptal that night because thanks to God, I wasn't injured as bad as I should have been. Josh came over with his parents. Then he called later on. He told me he still loved me and forgave me. Since then we have been close friends. But both of us don't date or "talk/flirt" with anyone but each other.  If you saw us together and didn't know we were just friends, you would think we are a couple. We go to movies when I am home from college, when I am at college we talk on the phone, and we well we have a personal life together too. He told me the other night that he is falling in love with me. He basically told me he is waiting until the right timing for us to get back together again.    

The thing is my mom and friends want me to be with someone who has money and is going to be in the ministry. Since I am going to bible college to become a youth leader and youth counselor. Also they don't understand why I don't move on from Josh. I have no desire to date anyone but Josh. I am also afarid even if I did date, then I wouldn't be able to let Josh go and just end up cheating on the guy with Josh.  What do you think I should do? What do you think of this?  

 
December 21, 2005, 8:54 am CST

Group sex and Canadian Supreme Court

OTTAWA (Reuters) - Group sex between consenting adults is neither prostitution nor a threat to society, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Wednesday, dismissing arguments that the sometimes raucous activities of so-called "swingers" clubs were dangerous.
 
December 23, 2005, 5:21 pm CST

I think he is okay...

Quote From: ashley91

I have been with my boyfriend for 1 1/2 years I am 32, he is 41. He's lived alone for 14 years & has never dated anyone this long. I'm the 1st girl he's brought home to his family & will again this year for Xmas.  He's been an open book with me since day 1 & he's loyal, loving, caring, considerate, thoughtful, funny, handsome and intelligent. He loves media & has a huge collection of movies on dvd & vhs. He's really into old classics. I snooped around his collection & found 6 tapes of the show "Strip Poker", which he taped himself, 4 Playboy videos (from the early 90's), a vhs labeled "Celebrity Nude Scenes" and the movie "Showgirls" (which he purchased just last Oct.)  Also, when we first started dating, I saw on his computer 1 file called "nude pics" the other "girl pics". Am I dating a pervert? Is it natural for a 41 year old man who has lived alone for so long to have this stuff? Is he maybe dealing with another issue by having this? His mom left him & his siblings when they were kids. He's very special to me, but I'm worried that this wasn't just a phase. He doesn't have subscriptions to girlie magazines or anything & the movies he's nuts about are old classics & even musicals. He's also a pack rat, and keeps EVERYTHING! I want to know from a neutral party if I should be concerned. Does this sound excessive or is it normal? He knows how I feel about strip clubs, porn, etc. and he's always ready & willing to listen & can always see my side on things. Please advise. I don't know if I'm obsessing over this 1 thing about him that bothers me & trying to find a "perfect" man, or what.
For a man of his age, his porn collection is not all that bad. How big are the files on the computer? To be honest, I would be more worried if he was in chat rooms, and stuff like that. Just about everyone looks at porn. If he had 30 videos or something like that I would worry. Besides, some of it is obviously from before the two of you were together. If you talk to him about it and he becomes defensive, then there may be a problem. But if he is matter of fact and straight up, then I think he is fine. Men are embarrassed when they get caught looking at porn, so be patient with him. If it bothers you, he should get rid of the collection. If he cares about you, he will. Or, the two of you could look at it together to spice up you love life.
 
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