What Should I Do?
Okay first let me tell you all my story. Jan 13th of 2005 I was sitting in my high school class. Business Communications. My friend suggested in front of me to this football player, Josh who is my age that he should be my date for prom. He said no. The next day in the class he asks me to be his gf. I for some reason said yes. However, I thought a boyfriend was the last thing I needed. I had rape counseling, a court case (I was raped when 16), my dad battling cancer, and my church splitting all going on. That weekend when Josh called, he could tell something was wrong. I told him everything that was going on and told him I hadn't had a boyfriend since before the rape. He understood. And I found out I was his first ever girlfriend.The relationship started out slow. The more I got to know about him the more I started to care. He was there for me when I lost the court case. I quit going to my home church, First Baptist of Carlisle because they spilt and was fighting. I started going to Josh's church, Carlisle Assembly of God. My dad passed away Feb 13th at 3am. that was a sunday morning. I went to church with Josh that morning. But I called his mom before I left. When I walked in the church, Josh's mom was there waiting on me. SHe gave me a hug. Church was packed that day. But I found Josh and he hugged me and let me in the pew so I oculd sit beside him. He was there for me. Not only for that day but the days to come. We loved each other more and more. Then 2 weeks after prom, I broke his trust. We had left prom 30 minutes early so we could do "fool around" is the nice way to put it before we had to be at the school for project prom. A week later I wrote a note to a friend telling her what had happened. When she threw it away, it landed on teh floor without us knowing. Josh's football couch found it, handed it to another couch who then gave it to Josh. I broke his trust and it was over a few days later. June 3rd I had a horriable car wreck. Flipped my car three times. They released me from the hosptal that night because thanks to God, I wasn't injured as bad as I should have been. Josh came over with his parents. Then he called later on. He told me he still loved me and forgave me. Since then we have been close friends. But both of us don't date or "talk/flirt" with anyone but each other. If you saw us together and didn't know we were just friends, you would think we are a couple. We go to movies when I am home from college, when I am at college we talk on the phone, and we well we have a personal life together too. He told me the other night that he is falling in love with me. He basically told me he is waiting until the right timing for us to get back together again.
The thing is my mom and friends want me to be with someone who has money and is going to be in the ministry. Since I am going to bible college to become a youth leader and youth counselor. Also they don't understand why I don't move on from Josh. I have no desire to date anyone but Josh. I am also afarid even if I did date, then I wouldn't be able to let Josh go and just end up cheating on the guy with Josh. What do you think I should do? What do you think of this?
