Topic : Sex

Have your voice heard about female same-sex sexuality!

 

Researchers at The University of Minnesota Medical School are seeking lesbian, bisexual, women-loving-women, and transgendered women who have been in a same-sex relationship for at least 6 months to complete a survey about sexuality.  We ask that you be 18 years of age or older and reside in Canada or the United States to participate in the study.  We are interested in learning more about women’s sexual orientation, sexuality, sexual trauma history and relationships in order to further understand the complexity of lesbian and bisexual women’s sexuality.  This survey is confidential.  If you would be interested in participating please go to www.lesbianandbisexualsurvey.com and complete the online survey which is approximately 45 minutes long.  If you have questions, please email Shana Hamilton, Ph.D. at svhamilton@umphysicians.umn.edu

 

you are so right to not do it, I am a 40 year old woman, I started having sex at 13, i now have 4 children with that same man. But for most of my life, since i was 18, i have been a mom, i love my children, i have 3 daughters ages 17 and above i looked at each of them and wondered what was i doing at 13? where was my mother and why didnt she talk to me about that Sex stuff, Being a mother and a wife is a very hard thing probably the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. and at 13 where is the boy going to be if you get in trouble? he is not even old enough to get a job to help suppost you and a baby. Enjoy your  life and do those things that alot of us never did, dont let a boy or sex guide your way. i lived for him at 13, i had to be with him every hour of the day and i didnt care what i did to do that. Please just be a kid and do the adult stuff when you are older.

I have a girlfriend who is constantly walking around her house without underwear on. She wears very short negligees, that when she bends over nothing is left to the imagination. The top is loose fitting as well ! She even does chores and gardening in this type of outfit !!!

 

Not a problem EXCEPT she has a 15 yr old son. I have tried to tactfully explain why I don't like this. I feel it send a confusing message to a sexually maturing young lad. She also leaves the door open when we are having sex and the sons room is next to hers, when I close the door she comlains it is too stuffy ??? Open a window ! She then sneakily goes out of the room and "accidently leaves the door open again.

 

Last week, the son came out ot the kitchen and called his mother a "whore", the mother and I had dinner and 2 bottles of wine. She was wearing the "usual" nightwear at the time. I said nothing due to feeling a bit intoxicated. The next morning I said to the son, "You should not talk to your mother that way and I would not put up with it again".

 

His reply was "I will kill you MF" I called the mother into the room and explained what was said. He did eventually apologise but when I explained he could not use the internet he started in again !

 

She said taking the internet away from him for a week was too severe a punishment ???

 

We have now split up for how long I don't know ? I really care about this woman and am concerned about the boy as well.

 

Any input would be appreciated

      My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now and we have been living together for a year and a half.   We have been fighting constantly and our relationship is rocky.  We are trying to work things out.  For about a year and a half we have not used condoms during sex. I am on birth control and we have discussed the possiblility that I might become pregnant.  He had said he would be excited and we have planned on getting married also.  This was all before our relationship was rocky.  Due to the fights and the hardships he has told me that during sex he prefers to use the "pull out" method until we can get our relationship on track.  He doesn't want more drama and stress then there already is.  I agree completely.  However being a woman in my shoes it's very difficult to hear, let alone imagine allowing a man to "freely" be intimate with you and then stop.  I can't blame him because I want the same to protect myself also.  This doesn't mean he wants to stop having sex and if something were to happen I know and he has said, he would be very happy to have a child.  

      The other night, after hearing his feelings a few nights back, we had started getting in the mood for sex.  And I had asked him if he wanted to still use the "pull out" method.  He had said yes and for the same reasons.  So I had said if he was so concerned about the stress of "what if" then he should just use a condom.  That way with me being on birthcontrol and the condom we can both be at ease until our relationship becomes more stable.  He didn't like that.  He said he was out of the mood and didn't feel like sex.  So what am I to do?  Is it wrong for me to inforce a comdom after so long without one?  or do i have a right because if he is so unsure of the relationship and about the "what if" then he should lay in the bed he made.   I just don't think it's right to say you are unsure of the relationship and eat your cake too.  

     Please if any men and/or women want to comment please help. I want both view points.  Thanks

I started dating a guy who is 41,has 2 kids(12 and 13 )I have a 14 yo daughter(both of his are girls)and a 22 yo Son.I am 45.We hit it off well right away,awesome chemistry.We spent alot of time together the first 2 months.We were talking about future things ie:the schooling of our girls,what type of house we would want.He always said I was hot,and he was the first one to call me his girlfriend.I told him I loved him and he told me the same.Then sometime in May he said we needed to slow things down,that his girls were acting up and he had gone to fast and broken his own rules about relationships.He said he would see me when his ex had the girls every other weekend.I was fine about slowing down and giving it time.Although it did hurt because we had been spending so much time together.He said he needed to spend more time alone with his girls and introduce the relationship slower.Keep in mind the girls and I have already at this point been around eachother alot.His phone calls decreased,text messages etc.. all but gone.He really slowed it down too much leaving me very hurt and confused.When I talked to him about it,he told me that he is still interested in me and never wanted anyone more then he wants me.I still see him about one time a week but not as a date,it's usually late night for a few hours and we do have sex.When we have sex it's just like he was before,I feel that he loves me.The way he is when he is with me,I may be stupid but i swear he does want me and really is trying to take his time.He says that rushing a relationship could ruin it.He doesn't want to get divorced if he should ever marry again.He claims his first priority is to his kids ,which I have kids and I understand that.But he never asks me out anymore,we only have sex.We do talk on the phone but it's usually me that calls.Every once in a while he'll message me online.I have given my heart and soul to him,I am so in love with him.He tells me my definition of love is not the same as his,that he loves all his friends and me equally.He tells me that is not what a relationship is about,and I know this already.I told him that I do not want to date anyone else or have sex with anyone else that I will wait until these issues work out,he says that when his kids are 18,it will be better,Should I wait,I love him enough to do it.Do you think he is just using me?Or do you think he is being honest about the way he wants it to go?I ask him "by me agreeing to wait,does it mean anything to you"and he answers yes.I also asked him at one point if he wants me to stop telling him I love him,he answers no.He says he is always busy and does not want to date at this time,but I see him out at our local bars,he is just with friends watching our favorite band.He only stays 1-2 hours then goes home,sometimes he texts me when he leaves asking me to come see him and of course I go.AARRGGHH!!I have rambled enough.Some backround on me.My husband committed suicide last July.I have never dated before,I have seen acouple of men while I have been out before I met this guy.So I am not looking for someone to complete me,I don't need him,I just want him.I see alot of potential in this guy.He also wants me to learn to be alone and take more time with my grieving process,which I have and I have no problems being alone.I just don't want to be alone,I want to share my life with someone,I did not ask to be alone.I ahev come to terms with my husbands suicide(Very hard)we were married 16 years,so I know what it takes for a relationship to succeed,I know he does not want a relationship right now,but it hurt from going Exclusive(which we both agreed to ) to were we are now.Someone please give insight,advice.. 

At only 13 your body properly won't be fully developed and your not mature enough to have sex.It also is ilegall to have sex at that age.If the guy is older than you and you have sex and your parents find out he could be had up for having sex with a minor.I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years.We decided to wait to we were older before we had sex.We were going out for 3 years before we were both ready.One of my friends is religious and won't have sex till she is married.That's her choice.When you are older and ready make sure you use a condom to prevent getting an std.Don't hurry 2 have sex it's a precious thing to give to someone and you don't want to waste your first time on someone you don't love.At 13 you don't know what real love is.Wait till your older.

I would not normally do this, but I need some thoughts from impartial people I guess. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years, known each other for 5. He is legally seperated but has yet to get the divorce done, mostly due to money issues. My real issue however is that at one time we used to be very active sexually. However we lived in different states for two of these years and only could play around every month when he visited. I moved out to where he is last July, but into my own place to still allow some space. However I can cant on my one hand the times we have had sex in a year. We talk all the time, serious and just daily things. He says its his back or the stress of his kids and ex. He is an absolute doll, and always very sweet to me. He has never disrespected me or treated me badly. But he has pulled away farther and farther and we are never intimate anymore. Even are kissing is just small impersonal things. Its like having a best friend not a boyfriend. I have told him this and he says he is working on it and himself so it will get better but it never does. Am I just beating a dead horse by sticking around? I love him very much but I just wonder if I may be fooling myself.

i do think this is a wrong message to send to this boy. children learn how to treat the opposite sex, and how they should be treated by the opposite sex, from watching their parents. they also most of the time find someone that resembles the opposite sex parents. i think the boy is being confronted with sex enough in the media, and this will only make it worse. i really don't mean to insult you, or your girlfriend, but in your description she does dress a bit like a prostitute, doesn't she? normally i wuold say this is her own decision, but she has to think about her son. and he will see the resemblance between the way she dresse and a prostitute does. and he will probably hear it from his friends too if they have ever seen her like this, or some other sexy clothing. so i'd advise her to wear an outfit that covers up a bit more, and certainly outside, or with the curtains open. and of course close the door when having sex.

srry about the comment on her way of dressing, but i didn't know how else to say it.

 

 

I have known Tom for 6 years, we dated for about a year.  Since then our relationship is just physical.  About two years ago he met a women and says he is in love with her, she's the one.  One, she lives 200 miles away but he goes down each weekend.  Two, after the initial sex, she has refused anything intimate, except to occasionally help him by hand.  There has been no sex for over 18 months!.  Three, again after the initial interest, she doesn't like him sleeping with her as he snores.  Four, she is a very negative person always making nasty comments to Tom, which I know is his problem. She also knows about me and last Halloween asked over the phone if I was taking care of Tom!!!   He has also bought a house near her for when he retires next year as she doesn't want him living with her?  Yes, I know I should just tell Tom to take a hike as he is not good for me, but I unfortunately I care for him a lot.  Even when we have a spate or two, usually over him feeling I am pressuring him to choose (not true, I like what we have as I don't want to deal with a relationship as a live-in or marriage again), he always wants me back and of course I am weak and say yes.

 

I guess I would like some comments, advice and suggestions from you about my part in all this.  Of course one reason I stay is that I hope he will give her up, so I'm an idiot too!!!!

 

Thanks Cynthia

I'm seeing a man who usually I absolutely adore.  I say usually because whenever we're together, he makes me feel attractive and desirable - things I'd never felt about myself before we started seeing each other.  The problem is, whenever things get the least bit serious, he tries to push me away, saying "keep it fun".  He broke up with me once (in January) because he thought I was getting too serious - when what actually happened was his feelings for me were getting too strong for him.  I think that's what's happening now - he's starting to do the same thing.  I think I've fallen in love with him and would love the relationship to last - what should I do??