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Topic : Sex

Number of Replies: 559
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:09:39 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you happy with your sex life? Or do you ask, "What sex life?" Share your story with other singles.

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October 14, 2005, 6:52 am CDT

Im so stupid

Also.....im a total nut case. I think I need to get checked into an asylum or something.  

Can anyone help me pleaseeeeeeeee. 

 
October 14, 2005, 4:36 pm CDT

Sex

Quote From: austingirl

 No, keep it that way till your ready , mature and  ready and know about what you need to know to protect  yourself .
i know thats why everytime my boyfriends race for it i say no and i leave them.
 
October 17, 2005, 4:03 pm CDT

Was this a hard lesson to learn or is there still hope

I have been with by boyfriend 4 plus years, i broke things off because he put everything else before me, weather it was his friends, car, family.  He never wanted to go anywhere anymore just sit at home, except when someone else wanted to do something.  Oh by the way i'm 21 and he is 22.  He went off to college and is living in an apartment with his best friend and 4 other guys.  He wanted to get back with me since we broke up and kept telling me he'll never give up on us,  he finally convinced me to go back to him and give it another try, but suddenly the day he moved into his apartment at college he didn't want to get back together anymore or even see me., but said he will always love me.   I went up to visit a friend and he and I saw each other and we ended up having sex.  I havn't heard from him since.   I can't seem to get over this, is it because I am the one being dumped here or is he just not thinking straight, because he likes to drink.  All I wanted was honesty from him and I don't even get that.  I thought that night we would end up getting back together because I still love him but I am so hurt by what he did to me, I feel like he doesn't have enought respect for me to be honest.  Was I just imagining he was in love with me.  I don't know what to do.  I'm devistated. 

  

 
October 18, 2005, 4:10 pm CDT

Not good at it

I am 32, my boyfriend is 41. He's almost avoided sex with me because he thought he wasn't good at it. He wouldn't last very long, but it was ok with me as long as he still tried to be intimate with me. That's what's important. He apologized numerous times when he couldn't continue & each and every time, I'd tell him it's ok. He's totally loosened up about it now and even initiates it. He told me he diverted from it  in the past because that's what people do when they don't think they're good at something.  Maybe it has to do with our age difference also, and him feeling pressured. Anyway, the change in him is so great, I think. My question now is, do you think it's possible he will see things differently when it comes to marriage/living together, to which he also said he didn't think he'd be good at because he's the creative type who can get caught up in his work/projects. He's told me he's thought of everything with us, even having kids, but that he's a confused person. He keeps going back and forth in his mind because he's concerned he can't be the husband he should be due to his workaholic ways, as he calls them. I just see the change in our sex life and in his opening up to it and can't help but think he will one day open up and realize that he doesn't need to change in order to get married, because I love him the way he is now, even if he's off working for several hours. He's so wonderful and always calls me, even several times. That's all I ask for. I just want to share life with him....not change him.
 
October 18, 2005, 8:23 pm CDT

so iffy right now

Well, here is my situation. I am 18 and i have been datign a 17 year old female for a year now, she doesn't want to have sex till she is marred but i do. this is somethign that i feel rather strong about and she doesn't wnt to lose me due to this. our relationship is great, we only fight abotu that. in my mind i would like to break up with her for someone sexualy active, but i can't, i love her.. she always says she is scared to do anything, even when we talk abotu getting a place together in a year or so. i think she still wants to be a kid, because a lot of the time she acts like one and enjoys, what i think is stupid, small things that i thought were fun when i was 12..  both of my parents say that a relationship consist of %50 lve and %50 sex, what happens when we get married and she doesn't enjoy it?? i would not be able to live with that...  please help me anyone
 
October 19, 2005, 11:42 am CDT

Lost in thought

I guess I should start by saying that I am an 18 yr old college student who shouldnt be looking to settle down with a serious relationship but I am. My last boyfriend, 22, was one of the best guys that I have ever dated. He was a complete sweetheart and I am still in love with him. We broke up because with him being older and more experienced with relationships, he wanted sex. Well I am waiting until marriage. I told him from the beginning that I was waiting until marriage because I believe that is the best gift I can ever give my husband. He told me that he could wait until marriage to have sex, he told me that he was willing to do that. However, that was ultimately what broke us up. We never really had arguments about anything except for sex. I realize that it can be addicting but at the same time, I dont see why my love and my company cannot be enough for now. We are talking about getting back together again because we both miss one another and spending time together. I am worried that we will break up again because my beliefs about sex have not changed. Is there anybody out there who can give me some advice? My ex told me that if I could find some kind of 12-step program to make him not crave and want sex so much that he would do it so that we could be together. Someone..plz help me out.  

 
October 19, 2005, 12:26 pm CDT

good for you

Quote From: buffhunter

I guess I should start by saying that I am an 18 yr old college student who shouldnt be looking to settle down with a serious relationship but I am. My last boyfriend, 22, was one of the best guys that I have ever dated. He was a complete sweetheart and I am still in love with him. We broke up because with him being older and more experienced with relationships, he wanted sex. Well I am waiting until marriage. I told him from the beginning that I was waiting until marriage because I believe that is the best gift I can ever give my husband. He told me that he could wait until marriage to have sex, he told me that he was willing to do that. However, that was ultimately what broke us up. We never really had arguments about anything except for sex. I realize that it can be addicting but at the same time, I dont see why my love and my company cannot be enough for now. We are talking about getting back together again because we both miss one another and spending time together. I am worried that we will break up again because my beliefs about sex have not changed. Is there anybody out there who can give me some advice? My ex told me that if I could find some kind of 12-step program to make him not crave and want sex so much that he would do it so that we could be together. Someone..plz help me out.  

It is nice to know that you have a strong head on your shoulders. Most would give in and fall for their lines.  I am glad you are smarter than that.  If he loves you, he needs to be with you...the person you are.  And right now that is a "sexless" person.   Cuddling, kissing and love is enough for a young relationship to last.  And if he is not willing to accept that, move on!  He is young and thinks life is not the same without it.  BUT sex is nothing compared to a loving relationship.  You have been upfront with him, so he has no reason to keep going back and forth.  You can't let him keep doing that either.  Either he is happy with who you are or not?
 
October 19, 2005, 12:29 pm CDT

hmmm

Quote From: shultzy

Well, here is my situation. I am 18 and i have been datign a 17 year old female for a year now, she doesn't want to have sex till she is marred but i do. this is somethign that i feel rather strong about and she doesn't wnt to lose me due to this. our relationship is great, we only fight abotu that. in my mind i would like to break up with her for someone sexualy active, but i can't, i love her.. she always says she is scared to do anything, even when we talk abotu getting a place together in a year or so. i think she still wants to be a kid, because a lot of the time she acts like one and enjoys, what i think is stupid, small things that i thought were fun when i was 12..  both of my parents say that a relationship consist of %50 lve and %50 sex, what happens when we get married and she doesn't enjoy it?? i would not be able to live with that...  please help me anyone
Sex is not worth losing a loving relationship...period!  If she is waiting, you HAVE to respect her wishes and not pressure her.  That is not fair to her.  IF you think it's not fair to you.  Then let her go and let her find someone that will appreciate her for her!  I realize you are both young and you can't find many girls that won't have sex no a days....but you did.  And if you love her and she is a great girl...HOLD ON tight.  And take a cold shower!
 
October 24, 2005, 4:43 pm CDT

Under Presure

You know .. we all have a love story.. mine is no differient than a man caught up in a love affair of long distance. I am also a married man. I have stayed to long in this marriage and it has gotten worst not better... fact is I have not even slept in the same room for over 3 years ...  I met this gal on line a year ago while she was going thru a divorce  and sense then we have never misses a day chatting. We met also too ...we are more in Love with each other now than ever before... I had to come back  get my divorce... mean while she (the lady I am with) said she needs time too because the dramma was to much for her children whom are adults and she doesn't want to hurt them.. they will never understand an internet relationship. So Now I am 1200 miles away .. we still chat and cam each other not missing a day .. But I miss her so much ...we are making plans but so much up in the air... my question is do you think we will make it .. it will be at least a year before we can meet again.. and now she wishes I was there so we could date .. I am worried I will loose her .. what do i do  
 
October 30, 2005, 8:00 pm CST

A break from intimacy

I started dating one of my best friends in April.  We are both in our thirties and have been divorced.   We became sexually involved a couple months into our relationship.  He is a recovering sex addict.   He was gone for two weeks and when he returned he withdrew which was difficult for me.  He talked about his feelings at the end of the week and asked that we not have any intimacy other than holding hands for 90 days.   

  

I asked him to provide the reason in writing and this is what he said:  "I want to spend time engaged in relationship with you without sex.  As you know sex is a pretty charged activity and for me it is a very complex thing.  Spending this time allows me to be directly engaged in relationship with you.  Sex can sometimes cloud issues for me and mask or cover up feelings.  This doesn’t mean I am not present or loving or intimate with you but it can allow me to avoid discussing something with you.  I want to be able to be present and in the moment and share what is happening with me. " 

 

 

I want to be supportive and loving.  I am very upset by this request.  I enjoy our sex life.  And I can't imagine not even kissing him for 90 days and still being in relationship.   I want to be intimate and I am angry that I have no say in the matter.   I keep thinking that I should tell him to take his "90 days" on his own.  Then we will see if there is anything left to explore between us. 

 

 

I love him.  This really hurts and up until just recently our relationship has been incredible in and out of bed.  I just don't know what to do and I don't understand. Do you have any advice?   

 
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